Sir Poops-A-Lot
Honey Bear
HB: What are we going to write about today, pansy?
SPAL: (He shrugs) Don’t know, yet.
HB: How come?
SPAL: I’m not feeling inspired.
HB: Why not?
SPAL: It’s been a busy week. I’m kind of tired. Daddy-o says it’s my turn to get shaved. Tomorrow mummsy is planning to put me in the Great White Watery Abyss of Torture. And, the new fur person next door is way too young for me and tea cup sized. I’ll never have a girlfriend no matter how many times I mark territories for one.
HB: Yup. She’s more my size with fluffy black fur. A little Yorkie-poo. I think her and me could make pretty furry babies. Especially since I’m a Malti-poo. She and I could make a new breed of fur people.
SPAL: You’re still too old for her. She’s a baby. Only twelve weeks old. What are you? A pervert? (He pauses) You better not hump her.
HB: I didn’t the other day. All I did was sniff her. She smelled like flowers and treats.
SPAL: I’m just saying don’t hump her. You might break her for one. And her parents might have you arrested and your face’ll be posted all over the sex offender’s registry.
HB: Who says?
SPAL: You better listen to me. I know these things. I watch the evening news with daddy-o while your chasing your ball through the house.
HB: Yeah, that’s probably why you don’t have a girlfriend. What good has the evening news done for you? It’s all propaganda. You can’t believe everything you hear on television. Mummsy says so.
SPAL: No. That’s what she says about the monkeys in the White House.
HB: There’s monkey’s in the White House? Really?
SPAL: Yup. Mummsy says they wear suites and sometimes put on clown make-up and put on a televised circus show. All I know is…I better have my treats and kibble by August 2nd. They better not mess that up.
HB: What? They might take our treats and food away?
SPAL: (He shrugs) Maybe.
HB: What’s wrong with those people in the White House?
SPAL: I already told you. They’re not people. They’re monkeys in suites.
Oh, I love the monkeys in the White House thing. That's priceless! Thanks guys. And yeah, Hair Ball had better be good!
ReplyDeletePoor SPAL...I'm sorry that you need a bath and a hair cut. But, it might make you feel better.
ReplyDeleteHB, leave the little cutie next door alone. You don't want to be put on the sex offenders list. My old dog visited the hounds next door and well...lets just say the neighbours weren't too happy...
Very cute-your babies are incredibly talented and sweet. I hope they both get girlfriends one day.
ReplyDeleteLove it!
ReplyDeleteHi Shelly,
ReplyDeleteYep, monkeys in the White House or is it politicians in the monkey house? It's a zoo-circus that's for sure and your pups are wise enough to figure that out. No wonder why dogs are women's best friend.
Love the political commentary.
ReplyDelete@Lorrlei: I promise to be good. Hair Ball
ReplyDelete@Ms. Beth: Daddy-o shaved me bald today while mummsy was at work and Hair Ball laughed and laughed.SPAL
@Eve: We hope to have girlfriends one day, too. SPAL and HB
@Miss Laura: Thank you. SPAL and HB
@Miss Moon: I still say those monkeys in the White House could learn a thing or two from my species.
@Tonja: Thank you. SPAL and HB
Oh, my. A doggy pervert! Thank you for making me laugh!
ReplyDeleteEllie Garratt
Smiles to you, Ellie!
ReplyDeleteI love these two!
ReplyDeleteA dog on the sex offender registry...never thoufht of that. Poor Hair Ball!
Sir Poops-A-Lot and Hair Ball love Ms. Norma, too.
ReplyDeleteOh, you definitely don't want to be on the doggie sex offender registry! Better be on your best behavior with the neighbors.
ReplyDeleteMs. Shannon: I'm being a good boy. Really. I am.
ReplyDeleteSPAL, did you escape the Great White Watery Abyss of Torture?
ReplyDeleteDear Sir Wills: No. Mummsy chains me to the inside of it. She scrubbs my face and cleans out my ears and scrubs my teeth. It's awful.
ReplyDelete