Sir Poops and Hair Ball: An Interview with Clancy

SPAL: Hi, nice people. Today, stupid and I have another great guest.

HB: Yeah. Pansy and I sure do. His name is Clancy and here he is now. ***he runs to greet their guest and sniffs and latches onto his hind leg***

SPAL: What did I tell you about hugging legs. I think he’s a boy anyway.

HB: But he smells good…like a chewey-chew.

SPAL: ***rolls his eyes*** I’m not so sure his Mummsy would approve.

HB: I get in trouble when I bite Phil down the street, and I get into trouble when I hug legs. What’s the deal?

SPAL: ***shake his head and looks to Clancy*** Please forgive my stupid brother. Anyway, what kind of fur-peep are you?

C: I’m a mutt. I’m part French poodle and part cocker spaniel and maybe part something else but I really don’t know. ***he sniffs at Hair Ball***

HB: I’m part poodle. ***he circles around Clancey*** You sure don’t look like one.So who’s is your proud parent?

C: My mom is Julie Flanders.

SPAL: Does your she write, draw, or paint?  Our Mummsy writes.

C: She writes. Good thing she doesn’t even try to draw or paint because she is the world’s worst at both. She wrote a novel called Polar Night that was published this year and is currently working on another novel called The Ghosts of Aquinnah.

HB: Our Mummsy doesn’t draw, either. She doodles.

SPAL: Yeah. She doodles flowers, hearts, and arrows when she gets stuck on a story. Hey! Do you like hanging out with her while she works on her projects?

C: I do. If I had my way, my mom wouldn’t go to her day job because I just like when we are home together. She also always wants me to go for walks with her but honestly I hate that. I’m a couch potato and don’t see the point of walking around in circles at the park.

SPAL: We don’t like it when Mummsy goes to work either. We love to be with her. It doesn’t matter what she’s doing walking, sitting, typing…

HB: We really love it when she cooks. So when she’s working on her stuff where do you like to sit? I like being at her feet. They’re quite tasty, you know.

C: I sit on the top of the couch, which is something I learned from my cat brother, Nate. I’m including a picture of myself hanging out in my favorite spot.

SPAL: We like the couch, too. Especially the pillows. They’re the best.

HB: Yeah. Especially when Daddy-o sits with us and we eat Twizzlers and pretzels. What do you to nosh on with your Mummsy? And would you be willing to share?

C: My mom and I both love cheese and we could live on it. If I hear the word cheese I come running and I don’t care what kind of cheese it is, it’s all good. I don’t share my cheese with anyone, especially not Nate.

HB: Well, that’s not very nice.

SPAL: Well, you’re one to speak. ***he looks to Clancy*** Where can we find your Mummsy’s book?

C: You can find them at:  Polar Night, available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, & Smashwords.  And you can find my mom at: Blog ~ Facebook ~ Twitter ~ Pinterest

SPAL: Thanks for coming today, Clancy.

HB: Yeah. Even though you don’t share.

SPAL: Before you go, please go visit Writers of Mass Distraction. Authors for Oklahoma have started their giveaway for 10 dollar donations to The American Red Cross.

Lots of licks, to all you nice people!

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Winner, Winner, Chocolate Dinner and BWFF

SPAL: Hi, nice people. Today, stupid and I are announcing the winner from the cover reveal, The Partners’ Progeny, while I snuggle in these luscious pillows. Mmmmm….

HB: It will be out July 1, 2013. You’re a pansy, pansy.

SPAL: Anyway, we wanted to thank the following for helping do the reveal:

Alex J. Cavanaugh

Michelle Wallace

Donna K. Weaver

Julie Flanders

Norma Beishir

William Kendall

Eve Gaal

Lorelei Bell

Gary Pennick

Joyce Lansky

HB: We did a drawing, too, for a 10 dollar Amazon card. Norma Beishir won. Yay for Miss Norma!

The boys clap their paws together and jump up and down!

SPAL: Before we go, we have a story to tell you.

HB: Yeah. About the two-legged BWFF.

SPAL: It must’ve been a Thursday evening not long ago.

HB: Yeah. Mummsy took us out for out night-night poops and pees.

SPAL: It had to be 10 o’clock. It was before school let out for the summer.

HB: There were three little boys roaming our street. Mummsy said they couldn’t have been any older than seven.

SPAL: So Mummsy asked if their Mummsy knew where they were.

HB: Yeah. That’s all Mummsy said.

SPAL: The little boys said nothing and we went home to get ready for night-night.

HB: Yeah. And we got our bedtime chewy-chews and Mummsy sang to us, gave us some lovey-love, and closed our door.

SPAL: And everything was quiet until, kaplunk, bang, slam, kaplunk!

HB: Yeah. It had me very upset. I thought I was going to have to kill someone.

SPAL: Ha! Anyway, Mummsy came for our help and we all ran down stairs. Someone was kicking and punching our front door.

HB: Yeah.

SPAL: Mummsy opened the door to a very mad BWFF. One hand was balled in a fist and the other one held a beer. Behind this person stood a red headed chick-that’s what Mummsy called her.

And Munmmsy says, “Can I help you, ladies?”

BWFF says, “Who do you think you are asking my son if I know where he is? That’s none of you f&%$#@! business!”

Mummsy looks at them both, while stupid here goes outside to get a belly rub from the enemy. And Mummsy says, “It’s a bit late for little boys to be outside without their parents.”

HB: Nah-uh.

SPAL: Did, too. Anyway, the BWFF starts to yell at my Mummsy, and I stood firm beside her baring my teeth, growling. Nobody hurts my Mummsy. SO Mummsy says, “Why don’t you ladies go home and sleep off your beers.”

By that time, stupid ran back into the house, and Mummsy shut and locked the door. But that BWFF says, “I’m going to call the cops on you for harassment,” while she’s punching and kicking our door.

And Mummsy says, “You do that and have a blast while you do it,” through the door.

HB: Yeah. But that bad old BWFF moved out this weekend.

SPAL: Thank God. The whole street is glad she’s gone. That’s our story. Anybody out there have a crazy neighbor story?

Before we go, we’d like to tell you that Authors for Oklahoma have their first bundles up over at Writers for Mass Distraction. This is a giveaway. Make a 10 dollar donation to the Crowrise link, your name goes into a drawing, and pick which bundle you’d like. This will run from June 25th to July 15th.

Lots of licks!

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Interview with Honey Bear

 SPAL: Hello, nice people. Sorry we’re late again today, but Mummsy had errands to run most the day. She really hates doing them because they get in the way of her writing time.

HB: Well, I offered to do them for her, but she said no. Although, I’m pretty sure I could handle her car. I know where the key goes.

SPAL: Mummsy says your too short and that you’d never be able to see over the steering wheel, stupid.

HB: Am not, pansy.

SPAL: Are,too.

HB: Whatever. I’ve got a big friend coming, and I bet she can drive because she’s way bigger than you.

SPAL: So.

HB: Yeah. Well. Here she comes, pansy. Bet she can beat your butt, too.

HB2: Hi, I’m Honey Bear. The picture below is of my nephew and me. I’m the beautiful ginger-colored one.

HB: Can you drive a car?

HB2: Um…***scratches behind her ear*** A car? No. Although I’m quite smart, I don’t write, either. My mom would have a fit if I messed with her computer.

HB: Awe man! I was hoping we could go for a spin in my Mummsy’s Jetta.

SPAL: ***smirks at Hair Ball and then looks to Honey Bear*** You sure are big. What kind of fur-peep are you?

HB2: I’m a golden retriever.

HB: Wow! Do you fetch gold nuggets or something? I like to fetch my ball. ***sniffs at her*** You smell different…***sniffs again*** …you don’t smell like Fiona or Penny.

SPAL: ***cups Hair Balls ear and whispers*** Stupid. ***then looks to Honey Bear*** So who is your proud parent?

HB2:My parents are Joyce and Mitchell.

SPAL: Do either of them write, draw, or paint?

HB2: My mom writes a blog called Catch My Words and has published a story in Appleseeds Magazine. Dad writes legal contracts all the time.

SPAL: ***elbows Hair Ball*** Think you need to be careful. I think her Dad is a lawyer or something.

HB:***blinks his eyes twice***What’s a lawyer?

SPAL: Someone who could help take all your treats and your ball away from you if you’re naughty. So if I were, I wouldn’t hump Honey Bear’s hump or sniff her leg anymore.

HB: ***Gasps and moves away from Honey Bear**** OH. ***He looks to Honey Bear*** Do you like hanging out with your parents while they work on their projects?

HB2: Where ever they go, I shall follow.

SPAL: Yeah. We love to follow our Mummsy. Where do you like to sit when they’re around?

HB2: I always lay at Mom and Dad’s feet.

HB: Feet are tasty. Speaking of tasty, what do you and they like to nosh on? And would you be willing to share?

HB2: I’ll eat anything they give me, although I have all kinds of allergies so my parents don’t give me much. Share? Are you serious? If I shared, I wouldn’t have as much and that would be sad.

SPAL: Awe. I have lots of allergies, too. Mostly to commercial dog foods. I have to eat very special.

HB: Yeah. He’s a pansy. And seriously…you need to share! Or I’ll----

SPAL: ***whispers to Hair Ball***What? Did you forget her Dad’s a lawyer? She doesn’t have to share anything with you, stupid, except slapping you with harassment.

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Happy Father’s Day

SPAL: Hi, nice people. Sir Poops here.

HB: And Hair Ball.

SPAL: Yeah. We wanted to tell everybody how wonderful our Daddy-O is.

HB: Yeah. He is.

SPAL: That’s him when he had hair and Glowstick lived with us for awhile.

HB: Yeah. Daddy-O is the bestest cuddler ever.

SPAL: And that’s Daddy-O at the Dali Museum because Mummsy wanted to go.

HB: Yeah. He didn’t like it very much.

SPAL: And that’s you begging Daddy-O for watermelon when he was going through chemo.

HB: Yeah. He’s a good Daddy-O. He always share his treats with us even when he’s sick.

SPAL: And rubs our bellies.

HB: He’s the most bestest Daddy-O in the whole wide world ever.

Happy Father’s Day to our Daddy-O and all the other Daddy-O’s out there. We hope you all get nice treats and belly rubs today.

Lots of licks,

Sir Poops and Hair Ball

Sir Poops and Hair Ball Interview Watson and the Hammish

SPAL: Hello, nice people. Hair Ball and I are hanging out in our favorite spot today while we interview some really good boys like ourselves.

HB: Yeah. Watson and the Hammish.

SPAL: What kind of fur peeps are the two of you?

HB and SPAL jump off their couch to greet them.

HB: Well, I know they’re not girls. ***frowns*** Let me smell their butts to make sure they’re okay. ***He sniffs around them*** they sniff back***

SPAL: Just make sure you don’t bite them, stupid.

HB: I’m not going to bite them, pansy.

SPAL: You bit Phil down the street.

HB: Phil’s a Roth something or other. He can take it. Besides, he slapped my head.

Wat: We are the famous two headed dogs of Tucson, Arizona where we moved
from Laguna Beach, California.

Ham: Watson is a 15 year old Brindle Scottie.

Wat: And Hamish or as we call him \thehamish, is a 9 year old Westie/Scottie mix.

SPAL: Nice to meet the two of you. ***they all gather round and sniff at each other***

HB: So who do you live with? We live with our Mummsy and Daddy-O. And we used to sleep with our sister, No-No-O, but she up and left us for a Yakov.

Ham: We live with our Mum, nice tall person who feeds us.

HB: Our Mummsy feeds us, too. But I miss the buffet that once use to be in No-No-O’s bedroom. It was 24 hours a day with lots of great smelling piles to lay in.

SPAL: Yup. Did you know our Mummsy writes novels and stories? And I love to hang with her in my own chair and sometimes in her lap. Do you guys like hanging out with your Mum while she works on her projects?

Watson: When Mum works we sleep under her work table. We like to
keep her company. But if she gets up we will follow her where ever she
goes. Always hoping for some chicken strips.

HAM: Here’s some of Mum’s work. Chikkin?

 

Ham: yert !

HB: We like chicken. Can you share some?

Watson: We would be willing to share our treats but as we are on
very special diets (diabetic and kidney failure) we don't eat any store
bought treats. Mums makes us baked cookies, sweet potato/yam or chicken
jerky. I especially love pancakes.

 

Ham: yummmmm yert ! chkikin'

SPAL: Mmmm. Chicken and sweet potatoes. We like the real stuff, too.

They all begin to chase each other.

SPAL: Who’s your Mum and what does she do again?

Wartson: Our Mum’s name is Gayle Bower. She designs cards and writes limited editions of hand made books of haiku. Several of her haiku have been published in Scotland.

Ham: She also has a rough draft of a book about her first Scotty, Kirby and
her adventures. Everyone can find us and our Mum @ HERE

SPAL: Thanks for coming. It was fun.

SPAL and HB watch the Hammish and Watson run off.

HB: Yeah. *** he elbows SPAL*** They seemed like pansies to me.

SPAL: Better to be a pansy than stupid, stupid.

Lots of lick to all the nice people!

Sir Poop and Hair Ball Interview Penny the Jack Russell Dog and Modest Superstar

 

SPAL: Good morning, nice people. As we do this interview, its raining and we may have to run to the bathroom. A tornado is near.

HB: I’m scared.

SPAL: Don’t worry. Mummsy has a plan.

HB: What’s that?

SPAL: We go to the boxes in the bathroom until it blows over.

HB: But I don’t like my box.

SPAL: But it will save your life if our house gets hit by a tornado.

HB: Will Mummsy be in a box?

SPAL: No. She’ll be hanging onto the toilet. Anyway, we have a special, special guest today.

HB: Yeah. Penny the Jack Russell Dog and Modest Superstar. She’s real purdy and her butt smells like a field of flowers. I can share my box with her.

Yes, it's me, Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!

My human, Gary.

"Here is our blog address, klahanie " We haven't pawblished, sorry published anything as of yet. However, I'm working on a book about my puppy years titled, "My First Bark."

HB: What kind of dog are you?

SPAL: She’s Penny the Jack Russell Dog, stupid.

P: "I'm a Parson Jack Russell terrier. I have longer legs than the ordinary type of Jack Russell. I would like to note that I'm not a Parson as in the religious definition. No congregation, but I often have to avoid the pesky 'puparazzi' who try to hound me!"

HB: Mummsy is our puparazzi.

SPAL: Yeah. She’s always snapping a picture of us. So what’s your parent’s name?

P: "My proud human parent is named, Gary. He is amazed at my blogging success."

HB: Does he have a talent? Like writing or drawing?

P:"Gary attempts to write. Unfortunately, despite my trying to teach him how to be a better writer, he just doesn't grasp it. I've seen him doodling, if that's considered drawing. Actually, when he was a young boy, his drawings in art class at school were considered very good. Gary does paint. Although he really should be more careful when he paints the walls. I second that emulsion."

SPAL: Well, my Mummsy taught me how to write and read and watch T.V. These are my favorite past times.

HB: Yeah. She’s fun to hang out with. Do you like hanging out with your human, Gary, while he works on his projects?

P:"Yes, I most certainly do. I inspire both Gary and my human brother, Tristan. When Gary is at the keyboard, I snuggle up beside him and show him which keys to use. I'm good like that. I love to go and watch Tristan play on his video games."

SPAL: Where’s your favorite place to sit? On their lap? At their feet? Or on their keyboards or crayons? I like being on my own chair and sometimes on her lap when Mummsy is writing.

HB: I love to be at her feet. They’re tasty.

P: "I like to sit as you see me in the photo. Here I am pawing out another one of my must-read pawstings, sorry, postings!"

HB: Are you a nosher? A snacker?

SPAL: Yeah. We like carrots and apples when we’re working with our Mummsy.What do you and your human, Gary, like to nosh on?

HB: Oh and would you be willing to share with us?

P:"I like to nosh on chewy bones that my humans bring back from the shop. I refuse to share my chewy bones with my humans. Both my humans like British food such as toad-in-the-hole and spotted dick." Yes they are both very weird." The food and my humans."

HB: ***wrinkles up his nose***Toad-in-the-hole and spotted dick?

SPAL: Ewe…Right? Anyway, thanks for coming by despite the tornado warnings.

P: "Thank you very much for interviewing me, Sir Poops and Hair Ball."

SPAL and HB: This was fun. We’ll have to do this again. Bye, Penny. Lots of licks to everyone else!

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Insecure Writer’s Group: Bath Tub Fears and Mummsy’s in a Corner

SPAL: Today, Hair Ball and I will be participating in the Alex J. Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Group.

HB: Yeah. We hope to encourage, support, whine, beg…get some treats and belly rubs.

SPAL: In return, we’ll give you all some treats and belly rubs, too.

HB: Hey, pansy boy. Tell the nice people how much we hate The Great White Watery Abyss of Torture. We need everyone’s support to stop this madness that Mummsy does to us.

SPAL: Yeah. It makes my heart speed up, and my whole body shakes. Sometimes it gives me the poops.

HB: Me, too. Especially when she sprays us with water.

SPAL: And scrubs our faces.

HB: Yeah. And cleans out our ears.

SPAL: And she tells me I’m going to get brushed to get me into the torture chamber. She knows how much I love the brush.

HB: Well, she tricks me with cookies.

HB and SPAL: Nice people, we need your help. Please don’t let Mummsy put us in The Great White Watery Abyss of Torture ever again. Help us stop the madness.

SPAL: Speaking of Mummsy, she’s written herself into a corner again.

HB: I know. She’s one of those panster types.

SPAL: She’s been working on Book 2, in the Lila’s Journey Series, Killer Stilettos. When she wrote chapter forty-five, a character revealed something.

HB: What does that mean?

SPAL: It means she has now gone back to the very beginning of the story and is doing rewrites.

HB: Is chapter forty-five the last chapter in that book?

SPAL: No. The last chapter hasn’t been written. But Mummsy knows how it ends.

HB: How does she already know the end?

SPAL: ***shrug***

HB: Oh.

SPAL: Anyway, we’ll back tomorrow with Penny the Pawblisher.

HB: Yeah. She’s a superstar.

 

Lots of licks!

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Torture,Pirates, and Donna K. Weaver

 

HB: Hi, nice people. This was me earlier. Yup. Mummsy coaxed me into this room with cookie pieces.

Poor little, little me. She strapped me to that orange noose. Can you believe it?That’s why we’re late posting today. Mummsy carried out plans to torture me today. She no longer pays Lisa Dominatrix at the pet shop to do it.

You wouldn’t believe what she did. All my beautiful hair has been shaved off. Woe is me! Woe is me! The Death by Metal Teeth buzzed off my beloved tresses. I can’t believe Mummsy did this to me.

Woe is me!

SPAL: And you call me pansy boy. You cried like a girl in there.

HB: But she used the Death by Metal Teeth on me.

SPAL: That’s a massager, stupid. It feels incredible on my belly. It’s the ultimate tummy rub.

HB: But look. All my hair is gone. It fell off and died because of those Death by Metal Teeth. Mummsy kept telling me I’d get more cookies if I stayed. She told me she loved me. She told me I was a good boy. She tricked me.

SPAL: ***laughs***

HB: What are you laughing at? I’m bald and my hair is dead.

SPAL: You won’t be bald for long. Your fluff always comes back. Besides, its better that Mummsy shave you with the Death by Metal Teeth than Daddy-O. He’s the one that nicked your eye the last time. Remember?

HB: Yeah. Anyway, Mummsy then gave me a cookie and put me in the Great Watery Abyss of Torture. I pleaded with her to stop, but she kept telling me how purdy I would be. And how good I would smell. She even gave me more cookies. I thought I would drown despite the cookies.

SPAL: ***Gasps and shudders***

HB: Yeah. Tomorrow its your turn.

SPAL: Okay, nice people. I’m going into hiding now, but please stay and check out Donna K. Weaver’s debut novel. Its got pirates, action, and romance.

 

 

WHAT THE BOOK’S ABOUT

When Lyn sets off on her supposedly uncomplicated and unromantic cruise, she never dreams it will include pirates. All the 25-year-old, Colorado high school teacher wants to do is forget that her dead fiancé was a cheating scumbag. Lyn plans a vacation diversion; fate provides Braedon, an intriguing surgeon. She finds herself drawn to him: his gentle humor, his love of music, and even his willingness to let her take him down during morning karate practices. Against the backdrop of the ship's make-believe world and temporary friendships, her emotions come alive.

However, fear is an emotion, too. Unaware of the sensitive waters he's navigating, Braedon moves to take their relationship beyond friendship--on the very anniversary Lyn is on the cruise to forget. Lyn's painful memories are too powerful, and she runs from Braedon and what he has to offer.

Their confusing relationship is bad enough, but when the pair finds themselves on one of the cruise's snorkeling excursions in American Samoa things get worse. Paradise turns to piracy when their party is kidnapped and Lyn's fear of a fairytale turns grim. Now she must fight alongside the man she rejected, first for their freedom and then against storms, sharks, and shipwreck.

 

AUTHOR BIO

Donna K. Weaver has always loved reading and creating stories, thus she’s been ever entertained. A Navy brat and U.S. Army veteran, she’s lived in many U.S. states as well as South Korea, the Philippines, and Germany. An avid cruiser, she’s sailed the Pacific four times. When she retired from Shorei Kempo Karate with a black belt, she decided it was time to put her imaginary friends and places on paper. She lives in Utah with her husband. They have six children and eight grandchildren.

LINKS

Website

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Goodreads

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Mummy’s Cover Reveal

SPAL: Good morning, nice people! We have something special to share with you today.

HB: Yeah. We do.

SPAL: Mummsy’s been hard at work and so has her cover artist, Collin Beishir.

HB: In the first week of July, she’ll be releasing one of her short stories, The Partner’s Progeny.

SPAL: It will be for Kindle only.

HB: Its something peeps could read at lunchtime.

SPAL: Or before bed for 99 cents. And it won’t give you nightmares.

HB: Here’s the purdy cover.

The Blurb:

Bullies rule … or do they?

For seventeen years, Victoria Sheek has been a paralegal supervisor at the Law Offices of Pereene, Carr, and Sevino, specializing in injury law. Rumors portray her as a bully. She remains confident that her position will never cease because of close relations to one of the founding partners, Mr. Carr.

Until Mr. Pereene, the head partner, hires Monica Bowman. Smitten with her because of her resemblance to his deceased granddaughter, Melissa, and his memories of her, she can do no wrong.

Which one of the two girls will keep their position at the firm? It takes an unexpected event to decide the outcome of this rivalry.

SPAL: We’ll see you, nice people tomorrow.

HB: Yeah. But bring is some treats.

SPAL: I’ll take a belly rub.

Lots of licks!