Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Torture,Pirates, and Donna K. Weaver

 

HB: Hi, nice people. This was me earlier. Yup. Mummsy coaxed me into this room with cookie pieces.

Poor little, little me. She strapped me to that orange noose. Can you believe it?That’s why we’re late posting today. Mummsy carried out plans to torture me today. She no longer pays Lisa Dominatrix at the pet shop to do it.

You wouldn’t believe what she did. All my beautiful hair has been shaved off. Woe is me! Woe is me! The Death by Metal Teeth buzzed off my beloved tresses. I can’t believe Mummsy did this to me.

Woe is me!

SPAL: And you call me pansy boy. You cried like a girl in there.

HB: But she used the Death by Metal Teeth on me.

SPAL: That’s a massager, stupid. It feels incredible on my belly. It’s the ultimate tummy rub.

HB: But look. All my hair is gone. It fell off and died because of those Death by Metal Teeth. Mummsy kept telling me I’d get more cookies if I stayed. She told me she loved me. She told me I was a good boy. She tricked me.

SPAL: ***laughs***

HB: What are you laughing at? I’m bald and my hair is dead.

SPAL: You won’t be bald for long. Your fluff always comes back. Besides, its better that Mummsy shave you with the Death by Metal Teeth than Daddy-O. He’s the one that nicked your eye the last time. Remember?

HB: Yeah. Anyway, Mummsy then gave me a cookie and put me in the Great Watery Abyss of Torture. I pleaded with her to stop, but she kept telling me how purdy I would be. And how good I would smell. She even gave me more cookies. I thought I would drown despite the cookies.

SPAL: ***Gasps and shudders***

HB: Yeah. Tomorrow its your turn.

SPAL: Okay, nice people. I’m going into hiding now, but please stay and check out Donna K. Weaver’s debut novel. Its got pirates, action, and romance.

 

 

WHAT THE BOOK’S ABOUT

When Lyn sets off on her supposedly uncomplicated and unromantic cruise, she never dreams it will include pirates. All the 25-year-old, Colorado high school teacher wants to do is forget that her dead fiancé was a cheating scumbag. Lyn plans a vacation diversion; fate provides Braedon, an intriguing surgeon. She finds herself drawn to him: his gentle humor, his love of music, and even his willingness to let her take him down during morning karate practices. Against the backdrop of the ship's make-believe world and temporary friendships, her emotions come alive.

However, fear is an emotion, too. Unaware of the sensitive waters he's navigating, Braedon moves to take their relationship beyond friendship--on the very anniversary Lyn is on the cruise to forget. Lyn's painful memories are too powerful, and she runs from Braedon and what he has to offer.

Their confusing relationship is bad enough, but when the pair finds themselves on one of the cruise's snorkeling excursions in American Samoa things get worse. Paradise turns to piracy when their party is kidnapped and Lyn's fear of a fairytale turns grim. Now she must fight alongside the man she rejected, first for their freedom and then against storms, sharks, and shipwreck.

 

AUTHOR BIO

Donna K. Weaver has always loved reading and creating stories, thus she’s been ever entertained. A Navy brat and U.S. Army veteran, she’s lived in many U.S. states as well as South Korea, the Philippines, and Germany. An avid cruiser, she’s sailed the Pacific four times. When she retired from Shorei Kempo Karate with a black belt, she decided it was time to put her imaginary friends and places on paper. She lives in Utah with her husband. They have six children and eight grandchildren.

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