Sundays with Sir Poops-A-Lot and Hair Ball: Discussing Things and Monkeys in Suites

Sir Poops-A-Lot

Honey Bear

HB: What are we going to write about today, pansy?

SPAL: (He shrugs) Don’t know, yet.

HB: How come?

SPAL: I’m not feeling inspired.

HB: Why not?

SPAL: It’s been a busy week. I’m kind of tired. Daddy-o says it’s my turn to get shaved. Tomorrow mummsy is planning to put me in the Great White Watery Abyss of Torture. And, the new fur person next door is way too young for me and tea cup sized. I’ll never have a girlfriend no matter how many times I mark territories for one.

HB: Yup. She’s more my size with fluffy black fur. A little Yorkie-poo. I think her and me could make pretty furry babies. Especially since I’m a Malti-poo. She and I could make a new breed of fur people.

SPAL: You’re still too old for her. She’s a baby. Only twelve weeks old. What are you? A pervert? (He pauses) You better not hump her.

HB: I didn’t the other day. All I did was sniff her. She smelled like flowers and treats.

SPAL: I’m just saying don’t hump her. You might break her for one. And her parents might have you arrested and your face’ll be posted all over the sex offender’s registry.

HB: Who says?

SPAL: You better listen to me. I know these things. I watch the evening news with daddy-o while your chasing your ball through the house.

HB: Yeah, that’s probably why you don’t have a girlfriend. What good has the  evening news done for you? It’s all propaganda. You can’t believe everything you hear on television. Mummsy says so.

SPAL: No. That’s what she says about the monkeys in the White House.

HB: There’s monkey’s in the White House? Really?

SPAL: Yup. Mummsy says they wear suites and sometimes put on clown make-up and put on a televised circus show. All I know is…I better have my treats and kibble by August 2nd. They better not mess that up.

HB: What? They might take our treats and food away?

SPAL: (He shrugs) Maybe.

HB: What’s wrong with those people in the White House?

SPAL: I already told you. They’re not people. They’re monkeys in suites.

Five White Girls Amongst Twenty Mexicans and My New Grandson, Other Stuff, Too

The above picture is four of my daughters plus me. Going left to right, Tinkerbell, No-No, Me, Ewee, and Sum-Sum.

Now imagine us in a room full of Spanish-speaking-Mexican women mingled with some of their men-wished I had pictures to show you.

Ewee’s quazi mom-in-law put a baby shower on for her. It was the longest one I’ve ever attended. From forty-thirty to eight-thirty, I was trapped. Everything was Mexican. Fried food galore-stuff I wouldn’t and couldn’t eat. All game instructions were in Mexican. All introductions were in Mexican. I’m sure you get my point.

“Mom. What are they saying?” One of my daughters asked.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’ll figure it out.” Good thing I took Spanish, Castillion not Mexican. There is a difference, people, but I did get through it. I listened with my heart.

Lesson here, I learned what it’s like to be the minority.

Now for my grandson:

 

Say hello to Jordan Kyle Alvarrez. He was born July 20, 2011. He weighed 8 lbs and was 21 inches long. He also, ripped mom on the way out.

A bit of karma is already happening to Ewee. Her weight and height were the same when she was born. She also ripped me on the way out.

So if I haven’t been by your blog or left a comment, the little guy above has a lot to do with it. This week I’ll get back on track now that I’m getting used to grandma-dom.

I even downloaded several books to my Kindle this week.

The Dream Spell by Emma Daniels

The Touch by Lisa Olsen

Angel of Mercy by Lisa Olsen

My Beginning by Melissa Kline

A Repeating Life by Christy Parks

Storm Chaser by Mark R. Hunter

Box of Rocks by Karla Telega

Next week, I’ll have a book review prepared on Beth Muscat’s Triology, Remember the eyes.

That’s all for now folks!

Happy blogging, reading, and writing!

Shelly

Sundays With Sir Poops-A-Lot and Hair Ball: A Mystery Solved

Sir Poops-A-Lot

                                                           Hair Ball

HB: Ewwe! Your gross don’t kiss me! I know what you did last night. Daddy-o found it.

SPAL: What? (His face flushes).

HB: You actually ate the evidence. (He shudders). You’re nasty and a bad boy. I’m the good boy! I’m the good boy! You’re not. (He dances in a circle).

SPAL: So what did I do?

HB: Well, when daddy-o came home last night he went up stairs like he usually does.

SPAL: So.

HB: So he yells down to mummsy, “I think Sir Poops-A-Lot pooed on our bathroom floor again but someone ate it. I certainly didn’t do it. I’d rather smell mummsy’s shoes.

SPAL: Doesn’t mean I ate it. (He gives a smug look)

HB: Mummsy told you to get away from her last night,too, because your breath smelled like poop. Poop breath! Poop breath! You’re going to get your mouth scrubbed out everyday this week. Hahahah!

SPAL: Can’t proove it!

HB: Already did, pansy. For one, I never poo in the house. And, I have nothing to hide and I would never eat poo. (Sniffs at SPAL) Yup. You still smell like poop breath. Mummsy’s going to dunk you in the Great White Watery Abyss of Torture everyday to scrub your dirty mouth. Hahahaha!

Sir Poops-A-Lot and Hair Ball

Hair Ball

 

             

  Sir Poops-A-Lot

Hey everyone! We’re guest blogging today at : http://sambirdandme.blogspot.com/

Beware, Teachers, and Writers of Mass Distraction

Good morning fellow bloggys! I thought this morning I’d share a list of words my critique group refers back to for help. These are words you all need to beware of. Our one critter is a professional editor. Her favorite thing to say is “This is what separates a professional writer from an amateur.”

The one thing I’ve noticed about these words when I read them in my own manuscript is they can make your sentences clunky or boring.

Here’s the first list:

as     just     had     that     then     very     with     always     some     over     could  

would     finally     suddenly     quickly     I     managed     only     first met     quite 

a bit     peered     placed     however     therefore

You can run a find on these words, highlight, and rewrite your sentences if need be. EASY-PEASY!

The second list:

saw     heard     decided      noticed     remembered     realized      felt    

thought      watched

These words are known as filters. If your character is doing any of these words, you can describe what they’re seeing, hearing, etc. EASY-PEASY!

And for the third list:

draped     adorned      accentuated     complimented     punctuated

sported     secured     completed     enhanced     graced     6 ft frame

These words are your HARLEQUIN words. They’re okay for bodice rippers but not okay for other genres.  EASY-PEASY

Also, I’d like to turn your attention to five different bloggy friends’ blogs. I admire their ability to teach in the written word-not an easy task.

The great word teachers are:

Lynda Young @ http://lyndaryoung.blogspot.com/

Annette Gendler @ http://www.annettegendler.com/

Lesley Smith @ http://www.setonhillwriters.blogspot.com/

Silvia Ney @ http://writinginwonderland.blogspot.com/

The Queen of English @ http://queenofenglish.wordpress.com/

To end my post today, I’d like to introduce a new group put on by published and unpublished writers. They’re taking a stand against the evils befalling the self-published and Indie authors.

Power to the Indies!

Those of us who aren’t published yet may consider going this route and we’ll need all the support we can get.

Check out:

Writers of Mass Distraction @ http://writersofmassdistraction.com/

They’re causing chaos in the literary world.

Anybody have any other words to add to the list? Anyone have a favorite teaching blog about writing? Anyone know of any other groups supporting the self-published? Please share.

That’s all for now folks!

Happy blogging, reading, and writing!

Shelly

Sundays with Sir Poops-A-Lot: Pounce

Hair Ball and I are moving to Sundays. Time wise, it’ll be easier to get to the computer. Mummsy sleeps a little longer since she doesn’t have to be to work until ten.

Sir Poops-A-Lot

Hair Ball

 

HB: Want to play a game? (He skitters around SPAL)

SPAL: No.

HB: I do! I do! What’s that in your mouth?

SPAL: It’s mine.

HB: No it’s not.(He head butts SPAL) Now it’s mine.

SPAL: Hey!

HB: I got your carrot! I got your carrot! Ha-ha!Ha!Ha!

SPAL: I’ll get it back.

HB: No. You won’t. (He growls, resting his head on top the carrot)

SPAL: I’m much older and wiser than you, stupid Hair Ball. Did you forget?

HB: You’re a pansy!

 

SPAL: (Pounces on top of HB. There’s a growl and a yelp).

SPAL: Wahaha! Wahaha! My carrot (he growls).

HB: You cheated!

SPAL: How’s that? It was my carrot first and you took it from me.

HB: We were playing a game?

SPAL: I never said I wanted to play. Remember?

HB: But you did too play.

SPAL: Did not.

HB: Did, too. Cheater! You pounced on me.

SPAL: It was my carrot first.

HB: You cheated!

SPAL: What comes around goes around, stupid. You stole my carrot and I took it back. Told you I was older and wiser.

HB: You don’t play fair (he trots away).

SPAL: Stupid, Hair Ball (he snickers).

I’d Like to Introduce You All To:

Hey bloggy friends! I posted another character blog over at http://www.secondhandshoesnovel.blogspot.com/

Today, Julio Velasquez, Lila’s boyfriend-x-boyfriend- shares his part in her dilemma.

Happy blogging, reading, and writing!

Shelly

A Call For Books to Read

Good morning, bloggy friends. This morning I was going to post a character blog to Secondhand Shoes but time is escaping me again. And, I think I need to stare at pictures of Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise for more inspiration(Tom Cruise is real fine now that he’s become a distinguished, older gentleman. I love his longer hair, too).

I’m also feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the different writers group I attend either in person and on-line. My heart is palpitating like it does when I read my to-do list. So I’ve got to come up with a plan to be able to stay in the loop without driving myself crazy. Anyone got suggestions how to handle this?

Plus, I made a commitment to read new author books and do reviews for them. However, I read around a hectic work schedule coupled with a finished MS in the throws of some serious editing and rewrites, which means there are times I fly through a book and other times I don’t. It sucks to be a human sometimes. Being a vampire would be so much better.

So, this is an open call for books to read. I want to read your books, people. In my comment area give me your title, please.

Right now I’m ten chapters into Beth Muscat’s book, Infinite. It’s the third book to her series, “Remember the Eyes.” When I’ve finished this one, I’ll be posting a review of all three.

Okay bloggy friends, post your titles in my comment area.

Shelly

Saturdays with Sir Poops-A-Lot: The Irresistibly Sweet Award Goes To…

Sir Poops-A-Lot

 

                                                          Hair Ball

HB: Today we give out treats! I love treats!

SPAL: No. We’re presenting awards. That’s much different than treats. You don’t eat awards. You eat treats, stupid.

HB: Pansy!

SPAL: (Rolls his eyes) Enough! Let’s give out the Irresistibly Sweet Award to our favorite blogs.

Challenging the Gnome @ http://threegnomes.blogspot.com/

My Pet Blog @ http://haleine-paperbackwriter.blogspot.com/

Pets and Other Critters @ http://petsandothercritters.blogspot.com/

Sam’s Story @ sambirdandme.blogspot.com/

Wagging Tales @ http://clancytales.blogspot.com/

Nuka vs. The Land Walrus @ http://nukavsthelandwalrus.blogspot.com/

HB: Now what?(He runs around the house, searching in the corners) That’s it. No red carpet! No pretty dresses! No champagne! No news reporters or television cameras!

SPAL: Yup. That’s it. Now we chill out for the rest of the day and wait for mummsy to come to home from work.

Shelly’s Naughty Book Review: Sextricity, by Author, Amy Redwood

 

The book’s blurb:

Jillian has a five-octave voice, a singing gig at a diamond exhibition in Hong Kong and a nonexistent sex life. During the flight to Hong Kong, she meets an electrifyingly sexy stranger. She’s never experienced sexual energy so intense. She falls deeply into a charged affair with many firsts—first orgasm, first-time sex in a bathroom stall, first time throwing all caution to the wind. He’s the best lover she’s ever had—and unbeknownst to Jillian, he’s also the most deadly.
Parker can control and harness electricity. It makes him a talented thief. Until he meets Jillian. His ability goes haywire and sparks are flying, literally. Seducing her out of her clothes while trying not to kill her is a challenge he’s willing to take. Jolt by sensual jolt, he breaks through her sexual inhibitions. Lust, not love, is his goal. He plans to steal diamonds, not her heart.
But with sex so powerfully addicting, even the best-laid plans can change.

First, I want to thank Ju Dimello @ http://judimello.blogspot.com/. The girl is a regular at giving books away. You should go check her out. And, it was a surprise I won an  e-book by Amy Redwood, Sextricity. Of course, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Wow! And, more wow!

Let me tell you what I liked about this novella. It was an easy read. No bumps. The plot was well thought out and written. Ms. Redwood immediately sucked me into the two characters' world. Two strangers on a plane on the way to China make eye contact. There’s chemistry and not long into the first chapter they’re in the bathroom doing chitty-chitty-bang-bang. Yup. Right away we know where this is heading.

These two characters had more wild-nasty moments than I do in a month with Sweetman. To be honest, I look for ways not to…you know(don’t take it personally, Sweetman, you’re my snuggle bear). But, I couldn’t escape from it in this novella. It was everywhere like dead people in The Sixth Sense.

OMG. Lots of sucking (not vampire-kind-of-sucking),stuffing, moaning and groaning, and blowing up lights and televisions. These two had me blushing. They had me thinking, ‘People really do this kind of stuff? Really? Ewwe.’

Well done, Ms. Redwood. You had me blushing like my mom did when she told me about the birds and the bees, and what boys do to girls and vise versa. She also, had me wondering are they going to fall in love? Is Parker going to get caught with his hand in the cookie jar-Jillian’s or the jewels? Is someone going to walk in on Jillian and Parker while they’re doing the twisted pretzel together? Will someone notice if Jillian’s not wearing panties? These things kept me on the edge of my seat and I had to read more.

Shelly gives the plot and the writing twenty stars. The sex part, well, that gets two hot cheeks, and a WOW!

You can find more about Amy Redwood @ www.amyredwood.com.

Also, you can find e-book on Amazon.com, too.

That’s all for now folks!

Happy blogging, reading, and writing!

Shelly

My Most Favorite Word in the Whole World: Pummel

I love the word pummel.  Isn’t it beautiful. Its got an undie hump and four humpty-humps. It rumbles in my mouth before it rolls off my tongue. Tingles run through me. What a sensation! Really. It’s a great word. I think I’m addicted.

Yup. I put the word into my FIND. It found two-hundred throughout my MS. Everything pummels in Secondhand Shoes.

Tears pummel lashes. People pummel to floors and into each other. Memories pummel into minds. A pit bull pummels an officer. Objects pummel, too.

I love this word and I’ve stood before my critters. Shame on me. Tisk. Tisk. Tisk. Fingers and tongues went a wagging. “Use your Thesaurus, girlfriend!”

Anyone have a favorite action verb they love to use? I hope it’s not just me.

Anyway, if you’ve got time go check out bits and pieces of my MS, Secondhand Shoes @ http://www.secondhandshoesnovel.blogspot.com/ or go to the right of your screen and scroll down to click on the link.

That’s all for now folks!

Happy blogging, reading, and writing!

Shelly

PS Tomorrow I promise you all naughty-naughty book review.

Happy Fourth of July and Food for Thought

Hello, fellow bloggies. Thought I’d take a moment and wish you all a Happy and Safe Fourth of July. I hope you enjoy your families and really ponder this day.

On July 2, 1776, Congress voted for America to be independent of Great Britain.

Why? Because once upon a time people, no one had the opportunity to be whatever they wanted to be. No one could own land because only a few minority were rich enough to do so. No middle class existed. You were either poor or rich. If you were poor, you were allotted no advancement in anything, not even education. Not to mention, taxes were sky high on the impoverished to keep them down.

So our forefathers came up with the following major lines to the Declaration of Independence. It’s the meat of the whole thing.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”

But yet, it seems our government has aligned itself with the old establishment of doing business. They’ve been busy fighting for control over other country’s oil and poppies, while depleting us of our ability to be employed.

When Clinton was in office, he signed us into the NAFTA  Agreement. The hand of that document has reached into the future ripping jobs out of this country and placing them in the hands of China and India.

Obama came promising change. I believe he was put in office to paint a blissful picture to the dumb-downed Americans as to why we should go along with any of the government’s hair brained schemes.

Little by little, we’ve been spoon fed a load of toxic crap-processed foods, chemically treated produce, and tap water, too-what a pun, huh? We’ve been too busy trying to survive and keep what little we’ve got.

No longer are we self-sufficient. We depend on grocery stores like Publix for food. We depend on doctors and pharmaceuticals to heal us. We depend on failing public schools to teach our kids while we slave away all day at a stressful job to keep the food on the table and the roofs over our heads.

Most of us have lost our health insurance and our 401-Ks. Our vacations and sick days are now  threatened. Employers expect more and pay less.

People are loosing their homes and living on the streets. The Liar Loans used into luring people into buying homes they couldn’t afford was a trick by the government to take over America’s land.

If we as a nation can’t stand up to the career politicians and take back the purpose of this country-freedom-one day our children will be enslaved. They will not have the creative ability to think and do for themselves.

Think about it! The future is looking bleak. Our children will live in poverty without a home, proper food for their families, and formal education could be limited to the wealthy only.

So bloggy friends I’ll end my soap box stance with a song from Muse and leave you with this question. What are we going to do about this?

Happy Fourth!

Shelly

PS Didn’t mean to be so glum but….

Saturdays With Sir Poops-A-Lot: Secrets

Sir Poops-A-Lot

                                        Hair Ball

SPAL: Today we have some rules to follow.

HB: Rules? I don’t like those things.

SPAL: Yes. I know. That’s why your always getting yelled at and I’m not. I’m the good boy and you’re not, Hair Ball.

HB: Mummsy says I’m a good boy, too.

SPAL: Hmmf. (He turns his nose up in the air). Whatever. Anyway, Ms. Eve from Desert Rocks gave us the Irresistibly Sweet Award and we need to follow the rules. Give it to others and tell secrets. But we don’t have time to do both. Mummsy will be up soon.

 

HB: Uh-huh.

SPAL: So what do we do this morning? Tell secrets or give out awards.

HB: (He smirks) Tell secrets.

SPAL: What’s that face for?

HB: Now I can tell everyone you don’t just poo on the bathroom floor but you made a big pee spot in mummsy and daddy-o’s bedroom. I’m really the good boy not you. I never go potty in the house.

SPAL: So you chew holes in the carpet and bite daddy-o when he’s playing with you because your too stupid to figure out he doesn’t want your smelly bone.

HB: Well, you walk like a girl and wash your face like a cat, Pansy.

SPAL: You’re a dirty little fur-person. You like to roll in dirt and root through the neighbor’s garden.

HB: Well, you’re…(he pauses to think) you have bad breath.

SPAL: So do you.

HB: Do not!

SPAL: Do, too!

HB: Not!

SPAL: You’re not really my brother and mummsy’s not really your mummsy! She’s all mine, Hair Ball!

HB: That’s not true!

SPAL: Is too. You were a nothing but  a knot ball. No one wanted you because you were probably a rude, little humper in your other house, too.

HB: That’s not nice. (He frowns)

SPAL: You think everything is yours and you always ruin walks with mummsy. Always picking fights with the giant fur people. One day you’re going to get us eaten.

HB: Nah-uh. I’ll get ‘em first.

SPAL: You’re a Hair Ball.

HB: And you’re a sissy-pansy.

Mummsy: Boys! What’s all the noise about.

SPAL and HB run to their beds.

SPAL: Nothing!

HB: We forgot to give Ms. Eve’s blog address. Do it quickly. Mummsy coming down the stairs. (He whispers)

SPAL: You can find Ms.Eve here @ http://thedesertrocks.blogspot.com/