Dear Ms. Dog:
I hope this letter finds you well. Has your heart been growing fonder? Curious? Mummsy says its best to contact you once a week. She says absence makes the heart grow fonder. Actually, I’m feeling a little sad and lonely. I’m going crazy from not hearing from you.
That’s me on the bed. I’ve been somewhat mopey all week. You’re on my mind, Ms. Dog. Before I go to sleep. While I’m sleeping. When I wake up. Even at my food bowl, I think of you and your beautiful, full cheeks and soft-looking fur.
The other day while on my walk I came across a red rose for you.
In fact, I thought maybe you’d like a whole row of these scented flowers.
Or, maybe a row of hedges, a tree, and a light post.
I’ve scented each one myself just for you.
Or, maybe you’d like a scented electrical box.
Whatever your heart desires.
Hope you like these. Let me know. In my thoughts.
Very truly yours,
Sir Poops-A-Lot
LLKK
