I almost didn’t get up this morning. I fell asleep too late last night. Stayed up and watched zombie movies with No-No. Munched on left over pizza crust. Listened to her chat with her boyfriend on her cell phone, too. Mummsy calls him the ‘Sausage’. He’s the reason why No-No’s ribs pop out of place now. Wonder why, too?
I think the hair ball and I followed her upstairs around two in the morning to her room. Her room is great. Mummsy and Daddy-O says it’s a dirty mess for someone who’s suppose to be an adult---what’s an adult? Anyway, don’t know why? It looks perfect to me. There’s stuff everywhere.
Her room is better than Mummy’s hamper. It’s where I get to watch my stupid-hair-ball-brother eat panties and other things like Tampons---told you he’s stupid. There’s always a feast there waiting to happen.
Unlike him, I prefer pilfering through the candy wrappers, chip bags, and empty yogurt containers---fine cuisine. Sometimes I’ll find a plate of morsels behind or on top her bed. Sometimes it’ll be under a pile of clothes. Going to her room is a treasure hunt. A great big glorious hamper along with an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Mummsy says she gets anxiety attacks when she enters it. Daddy-O enters with a big black garbage bag and throws buffet items away. What a waste, too, because I’ll eat it. I like my food to sit for a while and marinate in its juices. Or have it dried to a plate. I can lick and lick and lick. I’m the best plate licker in the world. I’ve had plenty of practice taking care of dishes after mummsy and daddy- o finish their meals.
Oh, well…at least I still get to lounge in her clothes. They’re everywhere. There’s a well scented sock in every corner. My favorite. I like to gather all her socks into a pile and plop right into the middle of them. I take a deep breath in and breathe in their wonderful smell. It’s heaven.
I also like the fact that she sleeps sometimes until noon. Oh, it’s wonderful. Hair ball and I sometimes snuggle around her.
I don’t understand why my parents get upset with her.
Does anyone understand why?
Very truly yours,
Sir Poops-A-Lot
Hi SPAL...my name is Newton, Dodgey's brother. You know--the feline. Anyway, I like to sleep on my mommsy's side. She doesn't usually have a problem with me doing that. But, I know my brother will eat anything, (he's a bit over-weight) but anything doesn't include, ewww, tampons...that's gross! Even he has more discerning taste than that!!! You should tell him to eat more protein and less cotton balls! Unless he needs the fiber...
ReplyDeleteYour brother clearly didn't inherit the brains, SPAL! Where is his taste?
ReplyDeleteDear Sir,
ReplyDeleteYou must know my sister's dog, Bambi who gets to snuggle in bed till noon also. Bambi is the (male poodle)hairball and the big sister is Pinky who is a scrawny thing that also loves lounging around all day.
Dear Wills: This is true, he's covered in unruly hair. Rolls in dirt and mud. Doesn't have enough sense to jump water pubddles. Sniffs at bird poop. He even bites his nails.
ReplyDeleteDear Newton: I miss my cats. six cats raise me when mummsy brought me home. One day I'll write about my cats and our adventures. I used to pee and poo in a cat toity, you know.
Dear Eve: Do they have boyfriends?
My sister? I wish. Bambi and Pinky are working on some sort of illicit affair, but Pinky won't have any of it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the nice words, I'm now following your blog!
ReplyDeleteDear Eve: Maybe I could change that. A girlfriend would be nice. Even if its long distance. My sister No-No has a Facebook boyfriend. Mummsy and daddy-o thinks its ridiculous, though.
ReplyDelete@Maggie: Thank you.
ReplyDeleteDirty socks in a pile - it's the modern take on leaf piles! I heart. :)
ReplyDeleteDear Lauren: Smelly sock piles are the closest thing to heaven.
ReplyDelete