Announcing, The Hot Man Today and Celebrating, Norma Beshir’s, Chasing the Wind, New Edition

First things first, I woke up late this morning. I slept like a rock through the night. This is unusual for me. My alarm didn’t wake me at 6 a.m. A neighbor's buzzing weed-whacker did at 7:30 a.m. So I began my day behind my behind.

I haven’t even read one blog today and now it’s 4:24 p.m. An invisible ball and chain is dragging behind me today sucking energy out of me, I swear.

Despite all this, it’s a good day day to announce the next Hottie for Hot Men of Blogs.

He reminds me of this guy.

No. He’s not a coward. More like a brave lion who loves his family. It’s expressed in his blog. ***sigh***sigh***

Every time I visit his blog, I see his picture and think, he’s so cute I want to pinch his cheekies.

This hottie loves his fiancé and makes no bones about it. He’s a father. He’s a city councilman (or was), a firefighter, and an EMT. According to him, he’s the biggest klutz when it comes to home repairs. He also writes a column.  And his book, Storm Chaser, came out last year. You can find my review somewhere in my archives to the right of your screen.

Anyone figured out who he is?

It’s Mark R. Hunter. You can find his blog at Slightly of the Mark .

So Mark, take this as a warning, your cheeks are pinchable. And if some strange woman grabs your cheeks after this is posted, it could be me or someone testing their pinchability.

Okay. One more thing to announce and celebrate.

My friend, Norma Beshir, has just released her new edition to Chasing the Wind.

Once upon a time she had a publisher and has been on the NYC best sellers list.  Now she’s going Indie.

So I’m here to give her a big hand and ask that you all do the same.

Product Description

Who is Connor Mackenzie? Is he the result of an experiment that should never have been undertaken...or is he the prophet foretold by an ancient text discovered in the Sinai wilderness? Around the globe, children are abducted. All of them are between the ages of five and six, all conceived by in vitro fertilization, and all extraordinarily gifted. In the Sinai, archaeologist Lynne Raven searches for proof of the Exodus and finds a papyrus proclaiming the emergence of a prophet sent to defeat the darkness that threatens to consume the world. In London, a powerful cartel manipulates politicians and industrialists and controls a think tank with an unthinkable agenda. One thing connects them all: the truth about Connor Mackenzie...
Revised, updated edition of the 2009 novel, now in multiple first-person points-of-view.
Norma Beishir is the bestselling author of fourteen previous novels. Collin Beishir is the author of the upcoming novel E.L.E. (Extinction Level Event).

You can find the new edition at Amazon for Kindle. Price .99.

Sometime this year, I’ll have a review for all to read.

That’s all for now folks! Characters are calling me, and I seriously need to drag myself out of my hole or go back to bed.

Later in the ink all,

Shelly

Saturdays with Sir Poops-A-Lot: Panty Fetishes

HB: How you feeling? Mummsy says you’re not walking right again.

SPAL: Well, it’s not been easy lately. The doctor gave me pink stuff to take and something Mummsy crushes into my food. Speaking of food. I soooo much want my usual fare. ****sigh*** But yeah, my front paw is bothering me again. It’s my own fault though. I don’t always listen to Mummsy’s good advice. REST!

HB: Do you still want to do the post this morning?

SPAL: Definitely. We’ve a got a problem. And I hope you’re not responsible.

HB: What do you mean?

SPAL: There are weirdoes out there stalking one of our blogs. I’m worried.

HB: Which one?

SPAL: Remember when we did the underwear challenge?

HB: Yeah. I liked that one.

SPAL: Of course you did, stupid. Well, it gets 500 to 1000 hits a month from all over the world. People find it by Googling the following:

• period panties
• dirty panties
• daughters panties
• love panties
• open crotch panties
• pentyhose dirty undderwear
• pantyhose and panties
• pantyhose in hamper
• pantyhose kidnapp
• smelly panties
• amy smart in panties (Who is she supposed to be?)
• hot babe getting her ……(This one is too nasty to write out for the whole world to see.)

HB: It’s funny. ***he chuckles***

SPAL: No. It’s not. I see the word kidnap in there. What if someone is looking to kidnap Mummsy so they can steal her panties and tie her up with her pantyhose and stuff her in a hamper?

HB: ***He stops laughing*** Oh.

SPAL: Yeah. We’ve got a problem. I just hope you’re not friends with any of these weirdoes.

HB: Why do you always blame me for stuff like this?

SPAL: Because you’re a humper. You eat Mummsy’s panties and other disgusting things. I sometimes wonder if you’re not a part of a secret ring of Boogies.

HB: I’m not a Boogie! I protect everyone from them!

SPAL: We’ll see. How do you plan on protecting our Mummsy then if one of these weirdoes come around?

HB: I’ll tear up their ankles and cripple the Bad Boogies!

SPAL: ***rolls his eyes***

By All Means, Please Hurt My Feelings

Shelly’s on a roll since her last post. I was going to save this for Tuesday but I’m naming the next Hot Man of Hot Men of Blogs then.

So why my title to this post? Well, Shelly’s been reading a lot of comments out there about why other writers won’t give their ‘friends’ a bad review on their books. Yes, I’m talking the Indie author.

Look, if we’re putting our novels and such out there for the public to read then we should be privy to a bad book review if our book sucked. Really folks. How is the Indie supposed to know whether or not they’ve written something that’s tortured the poo out of a reader? A friend tells a friend the truth. Right? If my jeans make my butt look too big, please don’t be afraid to tell me. Please! This soon-to-be Indie wants to know the truth about her grammar, plot, and storytelling skills.

It’s like this, if I’m brave enough to publish and advertise my work then I should be brave enough to handle a bad book review. Right?

So please don’t be afraid to hurt my feelings. I beg you.

Later in the ink all,

Shelly

Racism Against the Indie Author

No, this post isn’t about minority Indie authors. Or, black peeps versus white peeps. It’s all about some of the snobbery I’ve been reading out there on other’s blogs toward the Indie peeps (I won’t mention YOUR names…maybe one BIG ONE). Not to mention, some of the snide remarks I’ve heard in writing seminars about ‘em like ‘the Indie authors will die’ and ‘it’s a fad’. ***My finger is wagging at you guys****

The biggest misconception out there is that all Indies are crap writers.

Tell that to Stephanie Meyers and Amanda Hockings. These two began their publishing journey as Indies who were picked up later by an agent or publisher.

Well…just to let you know, it took me one hundred pages to get me hooked into Twilight. The writing was terribly poor. Sentence structure issues. Bad word habits. Lots of telling. Little showing. To be honest, it was torture. But because I was stuck on an airplane for three hours that’s how I managed to get through Stephanie’s word-desert and fell in love with her story-telling. I actually read the whole series, reading each book in seven days.

As for Amanda Hockings, I’ve only read reviews and they’re not real sparkly ones either but there are a lot of somebodies out there that love her.

One of the goals I made for 2011 was to read and review only Indies. That’s what I’ve been doing so far folks.

To be honest, I’ve come across one crap Indie author so far. Several months back I posted a sad, sad book review. I was sorely disappointed in her book. You should be able to find it somewhere on my side bar. I believe it’s labeled ‘Crash and Burn’.

But for someone to post that they will refuse to read and review an Indie is awful. Really guys? There are diamonds out there. Why are you guys letting a few bad apples who don’t follow editing protocol spoil it for those who do?

This blogger made my heart vomit when I learned she/he refuses to read and review Indies: All Things Urban Fantasy. Yup. You can read what they’ll actually review and it ain’t Indie stuff.

But I do know this gal will over at Karleen Tauszik. Every week she checks the Indie’s best seller’s list for a top seller. Reads their book, does a review, and follows with an interview of that particular author.

One more thing before I end this rant. There are famous authors out there who crash and burn in some of the novels they’ve spit out. When I read those books, I think WTF? I could’ve written crap like that, too. The only problem is they’re famous, I’m not. Whatever. Crap can still be written by the famous as well. It’s not like they’re the GOD/GODDESS of novel writing because they’re not. I could give a list of famous books and authors that make my eyes glaze over and torture the poo out of me but I’ll save it for another time.

So now that I’ve written my mind and how I feel about snobbery, how do the rest of you feel about all this blah-blah toward the Indie authors?

 

Later in the ink all,

Shelly

Saturdays with Sir Poops-A-Lot: Chicken Soup and Popsicles

Hey! It’s me Hair Ball.

I’m in charge of the blog today. And boy do I have a story for you. It’s about my pansy brother, Sir Poops. Mummsy and Daddy-O don’t call him Sir Poops for nothing, either.

So the story goes something like this. Thursday night, me and pansy boy gather in the kitchen around our Daddy-O for our night-night treat of pita bread and Yarlesberg cheese.

Mummsy followed in after because she was home that night. “Don’t feed these boys cheese or bread,” she says. Daddy-O always gives us really good snacks. Mummsy always gives us healthy snacks like carrots and apples.

“They’re gourmet dogs. Just a little won’t hurt them,” Daddy-O says.

Pansy-boy and me agreed.

“A little then,” Mummsy says. “Just remember Sir Poops is sensitive.”

Yeah, I thought, we all know why he’s sensitive. He’s got pansy-boy genes. He’s such a dainty, little fellow.

Okay. So we get us some cheeses and pita, which made us happy. Mummsy put us to bed with our big sister No-No and all was well.

Friday morning came and all was still well. Sir Poops and me had a good breakfast and we went about our day keeping the Boogies away while our parents were at work.

Come that night, Sir Poops decides to poo on the nice, new wood floor. Daddy-O had it cleaned up right before Mummsy got home from work.

Mummsy thought my brother was being his usual picky self about where he wanted to do his business.  Daddy-O didn’t tell her my brother was having The Great Poop Falls falling from his bum. It was a river.

So we go to bed around eleven. Everything’s good. I’m sleeping. Sir Poops is snoring. No-No’s talking in her sleep.

“Owie-owie,” Sir Poops says. “My stomach hurts real bad. Owie-owie.” He cried like a little girl and this horrible smell filled the room like something died.

I get up from my bed and go sniff at him. You know, making sure he’s okay like a good little brother.

Well, he made a big poo all over No-No’s bed so I had to pop her in her head to wake her up. It was a long sleepless night for all of us after that.

So this morning, Mummsy gave him this stuff every fifteen minutes because he wouldn’t stop pooing.

Right now, she’s boiling a whole chicken and some rice just for him.

And he’s gotten like five whole popsicles, too. Plus, Mummsy says he’s going to get a new bed, pillow, and blankie because he pooed all over them today.

You know what I think, I think he does this stuff just to get special attention and new stuff. I think he took more pieces of cheese when no one was looking the other night just to make himself sick. Isn’t that a syndrome?

Anyway, pansy-boy is in his house clad in two diapers with a bowl of melted popsicle. So far, since about 3 o’clock he hasn’t pooed, thank God. Mummsy and everybody acted like he was going to die or something.

***Sigh***Sigh*** But, I’m glad he’s better. I would miss him if he weren’t here. He’s okay for a pansy-boy.

No Regrets

A couple weeks ago after my live critque group was wrapping up, one of the critters said, "If I knew writing a book would've been this much work I wouldn't have started it."

My eyes went wide, and I'm sure my jaw about unhinged itself.

"How about you?" The critter asked, giving me doe eyes. "Would you have started this if you would've known what you know now about writing a book?" I know the critter wanted me to agree with her.

"No," I said. "I can't say that I regret any of it." That was all I had to say to her but I went home that evening and really thought about it. Did I regret writing my book?

I can honestly say, I have absolutely no regrets. However, I do have other things I regretted in my life. Not finishing law school. Marrying the wrong men. Not staying in a certain field of work. My regret list is long, and I can always share the rest later if the spirit moves me. But I can't say I regret writing a book or the other ones waiting on my 4GB drives to come alive or the ones running through my mind as I write this post.

If anything its been a welcoming challenge in my life. And I have to say I love challenges and learning new things. There were so many things I had no clue about, especially about myself.

And I'd like to share those things with you.

1. I learned to organize my time efficiently.

2. I learned proper grammar and sentence structure.

3. I learned about all the different gadgets my computer has and can pretty much finagle my way through it no matter how frustrating.

4. I learned I've got more patience than any saint could ever have. It takes a lot of this to write a book.

5. I've learned how to take constructive criticism and use it toward my stories advantage.i

6. I've met a lot of wonderful and supportive people.

7. I can live my life without television except maybe two of my favorite shows. The Walking Dead and Fringe.

8. I've learned when I think I can't stretch anything else out of my story, I CAN.

9. I've got an eye for detail now and a mind that can think analytically.

10. I can finish a project no matter how long it takes.

 

 

If anything, I've got pretty strong writing muscles out of the deal compared to four years ago. I’ve got no regrets, baby.

How about any of you? Any regrets?

That’s all for now folks!

See you all later in the ink!

Shelly

Saturdays with Sir Poops-A-Lot: Supporting No-No

SPAL: We’re here to protect and uphold No-No’s honor. I say let her sleep. Leave her alone. This is the life. Especially, since we’ve been up all night working hard.

HB: Yeah. We’ve been perusing Facebook and in the chat rooms.

SPAL: That’s right. We even help her look for ideas for little funny things she calls her ‘Babies’.

HB: We work right along side her like little elves. Look what we did last night.

SPAL: It’s the beginning of another ‘Baby’.

HB: What I don’t understand is why she hasn’t made me a ‘Baby’? She yells at me when I grab one after their finished. I only want to play with them. They’re my size and they fit nicely inside my mouth. And I can shake and shake ‘em until all their insides come out.

SPAL: You have terrible tendencies towards violence. You’re so stupid! Mummsy really needs to consider putting you into anger management classes.

HB: You’re such a pansy! All you want to do is cuddle and lick on them like a girl.

SPAL: They’re not made to be torn apart. They’re made to be sent to people who can’t have ‘Babies’.

HB: How do you know?

SPAL: I watch the Discovery Channel. They sometimes have a show on adoptions from all over the world. American people adopt Chinese, Russian, and African babies to call their own. They cuddle and lick them. That’s what you do with them, stupid. Don’t you pay attention when the television is on?

HB: He shrugs.

SPAL: No-No also draws cartoons about her ‘Babies’. And recently, a children’s author asked her to make some for his new book.

HB: No-No’s going to be famous? Does that mean we’ll have twice the treats? Famous Mummsy. Famous No-No. That equals double treats plus two sofas and two more big screen T.V.’s. One for each of us.

SPAL: Anyway, what Mummsy and Daddy-O doesn’t understand is she is working.

HB: But her ‘Babies’ aren’t going to pay her bills like Mummsy writing hasn’t paid off yet so she goes to her ‘job’ everyday. She needs to get a job so Daddy-O will stop acting like a gorilla. That’s what Mummsy says when he gets mad.

SPAL: They need to be patient. Anyway, want to see No-No’s ‘Babies’ everyone?

SPAL: She has her own little company name. CUSTOM TOAST. She makes other kinds of ‘Babies’, too. Anyone, want to adopt one?

HB: I want one.

SPAL: But not to tear apart.

HB: Frowns.

SPAL: So everyone our No-No is working.

HB: Yeah. That’s right. So there….   

I’ve Lost My Writing Room Again and Freezer Spiders

Yup. I’ve lost my beloved writing room. Right after Thanksgiving, No-No moved back in.

“I’ve got twelve days left in the homeless shelter and then they’re kicking me out into the streets,” she said, tears spilling down her cheek. I believe they puddled around her feet and drowned Sweetman’s heart.

Well…I didn’t want my daughter in the street either but she needed to learn some lessons.

1. Never give up your job or your life to a religious Sausage. Especially, if you’ve met them on Facebook. Remember when she moved to NYC?

2. Don’t ever get complacent. LOOK FOR A JOB! No-No went from friend’s house to friend’s house since she came back to Florida. The last friend drove her to the homeless shelter.

3. No matter where you’re at THERE ARE RULES! Follow them or else!

4. No one likes a SLOB! Do your part in keeping the common areas clean and respect the father-figure in the house even though he is a serious PITA!

So folks this is my writing area again:

Yup. I’m back out in the kitchen with Sweetman’s scrutinizing eye. Anything out of place makes him crazy. But what I’m about to show you makes him even crazier. Insane, in fact.

The above picture was my desk. I can’t seem to make heads or tails of it now that its been taken over by No-No.

No-No has no problem living in the midst of any pile. Books. Smelly, dirty clothes. Dirty dishes. Forks. Spoons. Bags of food.

“I don’t understand where all the spoons and glasses are going,” Sweetman said, opening up the dishwasher. “Isn’t there any spoons?”

“Yup. You’ll find them somewhere in No-No’s room.”

Not to mention, No-No is seriously nocturnal. She’ll sleep until 1 or 2 pm everyday.

“Hey,” I said. “Don’t you think you should go to bed at normal hours so you’re up early. Job searches and interviews happen in the morning not at midnight.”

“But you don’t understand,” she said, pulling the covers over her head. “My eyes hurt at night and I can’t sleep.” The child has a secret box of hidden excuses somewhere. I swear she does. I need to borrow it for future projects.

So she’s back home occupying my office as her tomb. Sir Poops and Hair Ball are happy as pigs in shit. They’ve got their rancid smells and open-all-day-buffet again. They have absolutely no problems with it.

As for freezer spiders…

We’ve got them! And they’ve been spinning a blizzardry(I made up that word…okay…say it three times holding your tongue) weave throughout our freezer. This is the closest thing to being snowed in as I get. It’s no fun having to pick through the ice to get to the food. It’s taking me some serious survival skills, too.

Thank God, the spider killers will be here tomorrow.

That’s all for now folks!

See you all later in the ink,

Shelly

Saturdays With Sir Poops-A-Lot: Mummsy the Computer Hog

SPAL: Mummsy’s been on the computer every free minute she has lately. She’s turned into a computer hog.

HB: Isn’t she working on edits? What are those anyway?

SPAL: It’s an excuse to keep us from using the computer. That’s what it is.

HB: But it sounds important.

SPAL: Mummsy makes everything sound important. But this editing stuff can’t possibly be that important. I think it’s an excuse to keep us off the computer. Did you do something you shouldn’t have?

HB: Like what?

SPAL: Did you send pictures of yourself to that under aged fur person next door? I told you to leave her alone.

HB: He shakes his head.

SPAL: I don’t believe you.

HB: But I didn’t do anything. Mummsy says her edits are important and she wants to get them finished. And she wants to make sure everything reads right. I heard her tell Daddy-o this because he doesn’t take her seriously either. What’s wrong with the two of you?

SPAL: I want my computer back.

HB: And Daddy-o says he wants Mummsy on the couch with him. Wow! And I though I was the impatient one.

Shelly Gives Two Mini Book Reviews and What’s on My Kindle

Good morning, everyone! Florida is having ‘FREEZE YOUR ARSE OFF’ temps this morning. I had a hard time forcing myself out of my toasty covers but here I am, downstairs at my kitchen table, pecking away at the keyboards to bring you two book reviews. Mini ones.

Box of Rocks, by Karla Telega

Maggie and Cher are middle-aged best friends going through the change(two women I can relate to since I suffer from hot flashes and pee when I sneeze). Both make a bucket list of things to do together. When ghost hunting and shooting don’t pan out, they decide to dig for gold. Between hot flashes and incontinence they come across a dead body and solve who the murderer is but not w/o putting themselves in danger.

If you love strong character voices this is for you. Karla has an amazing way with voices. You can here them in your head. Way cool!

I can’t wait for Karla’s next book. This was great!

You can find her book or e-book on Amazon.

If you want a way better book review, go here, Writers of Mass Distraction. Sir Wills is an expert on writing any kind of review. He’s the bestest-ever-reviewer-giver.

My Beginning, by Melissa Kline-

This is Young/Adult Crossover read. Immediately, we’re introduced to Ivory, a sixteen year old girl who lives in an institution with others her age run by ‘nurses’. She’s known nothing but isolation from the outside world since a ‘plague’ wiped out the human race so she’s been told. Her only contact with the outside world are windows. Questions invade her mind (typical of a teen-question authority)especially after she meets a boy named Aiven who has the same questions like what’s it like out there beyond the window. Thier lives change after they run-a-way and find surviving humans. This is sweet love story that involves family relationships, loyalty, accepting differences, and love conquers all . It’s also action packed with lots of surprises.

You can find her book and e-book at Amazon.

What’s on my Kindle?

7 Scorpians: Rebellion by Milke Saxton

7 Scorpians: Revolution by Mike Saxton

Pretty Witches All in a Row by Lisa Olsen

Mercy for the Wicked by Lisa Olsen

Soulless Light by Joann Buchanan

Wildflower by Beth Muscat

The Bracelet by Beth Muscat

Fiction Noir: Thirteen Stories (There’s a story in there by Eve Gaal)

My books:

Agnes Et Yves by Patricia Herlevi

And, I’m still waiting for Vampire’s Trill by Lorelei Bell.

What’s on your Kindle?

You all have a great day!

See you later in the ink,

Shelly

My 2012 Goals, A Comment Award, and Other Things

Oh man! It’s 2012 already. Where did 2011 go? It feels like we just finished watching Obama’s Inauguration speech. And since, either America is spinning out of control in a hand basket to hell or we’re being prepared to be shot from a cannon to the stars. My wish is to shoot for the stars. It sounds better than being spiraled into a place of fire and brimstone.

So I will go onward with my goals and ambitions no matter who the new YAHOO is in the White House. I say, hope for the best and prepare for the worst.

My main goals this year is to complete the edits on Secondhand Shoes. I finished rewriting the last twelve chapters last week. The MS is in the hands of the beta readers and will be undergoing some more changes. Not many, though. After, it will go to my editor. During that time, I’ll be interviewing book cover artists. I’ve got three in mind.

When the book cover has been decided upon it will go to formatting, and I’ll be drafting the second book to the series. Yes. I said series.

While writing the last chapter, Lila, Gram, and another character decided to carry on Lila’s adventures. How many books will there be in this series? Don’t ask me, I’m a PANSTER who plans little. I go with what my characters want to do.

Contessa and Arthur are still waiting for me to get to their edits of their first book. It’s in it’s second draft hanging out on a 4GB disk. And there’s also my angel, Ariel. He and his demon adversary, Phil, are waiting to be resurrected, too.

Lot’s of things are going on in my life. Did I tell you guys I won an award? And there isn’t any silly rules with this one. But I’m going to pass it on to the four peeps who visit me every time I post something. Their comments range from humorous to sweet. But before I do that, I wish to thank Lorelei Bell.

She’s the author of Vampire Ascending and Vampire’s Trill. It was very sweet of her to award this to me. You all should check her out at the following blog sites: Lorelei's Muse, Lorelei's Writing Journal, and Something Nebulous Within. You should also get her books. I absolutely love her voice and plots.

Okay, to the four peeps I wish to pass this award to:

William Kendall  @ Speak of the Devil (He loves snow. He’s got infectious wit and writes a lot of political satire)

Norma Beshir  @  Sam's Story (This is my favorite blog she does. Writing from her little bird’s perspective. It’s great.)

Eve Gaal @ The Desert Rocks (She writes adorably sweet stuff. It’s definitely a reflection of who she is.)

Beth Muscat @  All Kidding Aside (She hates snow but loves kitties and Wal Martians. If you want to begin your day with a bit of laughter. Check her out.)

I also wish to invite you to check out our little group(Norma, William, Eve, and Beth are a part), Writers of Mass Distraction. We are a group of writers dedicated to helping new and Indie authors getting exposure. You can also find us on Facebook.

Well, that’s all for now folks!

I’ll be back Tuesday to tell you about what’s on my Kindle and give you all two mini book reviews I’ve been meaning to post to my blog for awhile.

As for Sir Poops and Hair Ball, they’ve got a a food hangover. They enjoyed Sonny’s BBQ a little too much last night along with tastes from No-No’s New Year’s Eve cupcakes.

I’ll see you all later in the ink,

Shelly