Saturdays with Sir Poops-A-Lot: Supporting No-No

SPAL: We’re here to protect and uphold No-No’s honor. I say let her sleep. Leave her alone. This is the life. Especially, since we’ve been up all night working hard.

HB: Yeah. We’ve been perusing Facebook and in the chat rooms.

SPAL: That’s right. We even help her look for ideas for little funny things she calls her ‘Babies’.

HB: We work right along side her like little elves. Look what we did last night.

SPAL: It’s the beginning of another ‘Baby’.

HB: What I don’t understand is why she hasn’t made me a ‘Baby’? She yells at me when I grab one after their finished. I only want to play with them. They’re my size and they fit nicely inside my mouth. And I can shake and shake ‘em until all their insides come out.

SPAL: You have terrible tendencies towards violence. You’re so stupid! Mummsy really needs to consider putting you into anger management classes.

HB: You’re such a pansy! All you want to do is cuddle and lick on them like a girl.

SPAL: They’re not made to be torn apart. They’re made to be sent to people who can’t have ‘Babies’.

HB: How do you know?

SPAL: I watch the Discovery Channel. They sometimes have a show on adoptions from all over the world. American people adopt Chinese, Russian, and African babies to call their own. They cuddle and lick them. That’s what you do with them, stupid. Don’t you pay attention when the television is on?

HB: He shrugs.

SPAL: No-No also draws cartoons about her ‘Babies’. And recently, a children’s author asked her to make some for his new book.

HB: No-No’s going to be famous? Does that mean we’ll have twice the treats? Famous Mummsy. Famous No-No. That equals double treats plus two sofas and two more big screen T.V.’s. One for each of us.

SPAL: Anyway, what Mummsy and Daddy-O doesn’t understand is she is working.

HB: But her ‘Babies’ aren’t going to pay her bills like Mummsy writing hasn’t paid off yet so she goes to her ‘job’ everyday. She needs to get a job so Daddy-O will stop acting like a gorilla. That’s what Mummsy says when he gets mad.

SPAL: They need to be patient. Anyway, want to see No-No’s ‘Babies’ everyone?

SPAL: She has her own little company name. CUSTOM TOAST. She makes other kinds of ‘Babies’, too. Anyone, want to adopt one?

HB: I want one.

SPAL: But not to tear apart.

HB: Frowns.

SPAL: So everyone our No-No is working.

HB: Yeah. That’s right. So there….   

Saturdays with Sir Poops-A-Lot: Fine Dinnerware and Beth Muscat’s, Remember the Eyes and Nothing Without You

Sir Poops-A-Lot and Hair Ball

SPAL: Blogo-schmogo-schmucko-roo!

HB: Huh? Why are you repeating what mummsy’s been mumbling all week.

SPAL: There’s still something wrong with Blogspot.

HB: Oh!

SPAL: Wish I could hypnotize it like I can mummsy.

HB: You can’t hypnotize mummsy.

SPAL: Can, too.

HB: Can not!

SPAL: Too!

HB: Show me then, Pansy!

SPAL: You stand and stare. Concentrate on what you want. I don’t even have to touch her like Riley does in Beth Muscat’s book, Remember the Eyes and Nothing Without You.

HB: Ooooo….you’ve been playing with mummsy’s Kindle.

SPAL: Not! I’ve been reading. I’m learning a lot from Riley. Hypnotizing someone takes a lot of concentration. If it weren’t for my reading skills and these two great books by Beth Muscat we wouldn’t be getting dinner on mummusy’s good dinner plates. We’d still be eating out of what they call the DOG BOWLS.

HB: So.

SPAL: Didn’t you know DOG is really a bad word?

HB: Nah-uh.

SPAL: Well, it is. And, I refuse to do anything a DOG might do.