Beanie-Bean: I Promise I Didn't Do It!

Hair Ball has accused me of eating Edwin Elf. I don't even know what that is. How can I eat something I don't even know. Besides, what is an elf.

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Hair Ball: A Blast from the Past with Edwin Elf and Sir Poops

Hello, nice people!

I thought the next several days, I'd repost my adventures with Edwin Elf.  Wonder what happened to him? Hmm...***taps his chin*** Maybe Beanie-Bean chewed him into little pieces.

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Hair Ball's Monday Adventure With Edwin Elf

Beanie-Bean and Hair Ball: Snow White Poops

Ooooo! A certain someone has been very naughty. The evidence has been coming out in this certain someone's poop.

If I were Mummsy, I'd take you back to doggie jail.

*Beanie-Bean glances over her shoulder and sticks out her tongue at Hair Ball. Then, she quickly turns to face her Mummsy who is scowling and wagging her finger.*



I sorry, Mummsy. But your mouth guard was tasty. For some reason I just couldn't help myself.

Did I tell you how beautiful you smell? Like flowers. I didn't mean to be naughty. *frowns* I know it's the third one. If it makes you feel any better, it gave me a tummy ache. It gave me snow white poo, too. Hard like rocks.

I sorry. I don't mean to be naughty. Really. I promise.

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Beanie-Bean and Hair Ball: Difficulties

HB: We've had some problems.

BB: Yeah.

HB: Mummsy's arm hasn't grown a bone yet.

BB: The doctor says she only has a fiberous callus in the break site.

HB: *frowns*Which means she still can't pick me up.

BB: Or run me around the neighborhood. *sniffles and sobs*

HB: AND her computer and wi-fi and Android have been giving her issues, too.

BB: First her powerpack went bad on her computer.

HB: Then Daddy-o bought her a new one.

BB: That fixed that and then the wi-fi went down.

HB: Daddy-o fixed that with a phone call.

BB: And then the adaptor to Mummsy's computer went bad.

HB: Daddy-o bought a new one.

BB: But when it arrived, it was the wrong one.

HB: So Daddy-o and Mummsy took a trip to Best Buy. It was the night my hogget sister here ate the remote to the TV set.

BB: WHO ARE YOU CALLING A HOG, SHRIMP?

HB: YOU! It's all your fault. Mummsy's arm. Everything. Now we can't even watch TV because of you.

BB: I would watch my mouth if I were you. I'll steal your breakfast and your dinner the west of the week.

HB: I'll tell Mummsy.

BB:Pfff! Good luck. What is she going to do with one arm?

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Beanie-Bean and Hair Ball: You Got Turkey?

Happy Thanksgiving! We hope you share your thankfulness with your fur-peeps.

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Beanie-Bean:All The Bones are Mine

All mine.



Mineminemine. I dare anyone to come and take them.

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BEANIE-BEAN AND HAIR BALL-DON'T BUY MY BOOK

Hello nice, people!

IF ANIMALS COULD SPEAK:

A Special DON’T BUY MY BOOK visit

“If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.”

– Mark Twain

One fateful day, an impossibly large house cat walked into Shelly Arkon’s front room right up to where Hair Ball and Beanie-Bean were lounging at the foot of the stairs.

Hair Ball took one look at the cat, whose dark fur was blacker than any politician’s heart, and said to Beanie-Bean.

“You left the doggy door open again, didn’t you?”

“Hey!  You can’t lock the darn thing.  Don’t blame me.”

The “cat” whose name was Macak purred, “Do not like cats?  How about my true form?”

Hair Ball hurt his neck looking up at the changing feline who now towered over them, licking its lips, and quaked, “Cats are just fine!”

Beanie-Bean snickered, “If you cook them just right.”

Hair Ball gave his friend a look that Custer must have gotten very tired of in that surprise party the Sioux threw him.

Macak studied Hair Ball.  “General Custer did not die in the parallel dimension from which I have just come.  He sailed in the clouds with my young charge, 11 year old Nicola Tesla, aboard the first Air/Steamship, Xanadu, in 1867.”

Beanie-Bean snorted, “You don’t look 149 years old, but I guess all that face fur hides the wrinkles, right?”

Macak showed its teeth.  “I do not age as you think of age.”

Hair Ball whispered in a hiss, “And I would like to age a little more, Bean, so zippa the lippas!”

Trying to desperately change the subject, Hair Ball asked, “What were the three of you doing aboard a flying boat?”

“We were accompanying the newlyweds, the cursed Texas Ranger, Samuel McCord, and the alien empress, Meilori Shinseen, along with Mark Twain, the insane Abraham Lincoln, and the vampire, Benjamin Franklin.”

“Vampire!” yelped Hair Ball.

“Oh, Pooey!” snickered Beanie-Bean.  “We could out-run silly old vampires.”

Macak raised a mocking eye-brow.  “Really?  Perhaps I should introduce the two of you to others we met aboard the Xanadu –

Like the Rougarou, the Werewolves of Paris, or the Soyoko, evolved raptors.”

Hair Ball was shaking so that his skin was about to jump off his skeleton and do the Mambo with it.

“No!  We’re really shy.  Stick-in-the-mud homebodies!”

“Oh, the Germanic Dragons and the Celestial Dragons of Chin that we also met could fly over for a visit.”

“Chin?” frowned Beanie-Bean.

“Yes, what China is called by its natives in the dimension from which I spring.  In fact, Qing Long even now resides beneath San Francisco, where in the not-too-distant future, he will trigger the San Andreas earthquake.”

“What?” squeaked Hair Ball.

“Yes,” sighed Macak.  “He triggered the 1904 San Francisco earthquake as a direct result of McCord’s actions in 1867.”

“We have to stop him!” sputtered Beanie-Bean.

Macak purred evilly, “I could take you to him to let you ask him not to do so.  Your audacity might strike him as amusing, and he might let you live.”

Hair Ball gulped, “That would be nice of him.”

Macak continued, “Long enough to realize the utter folly of bearding him in his den.”

Even Beanie-Bean was shaken, and he turned to Hair Ball, “Cancel our flight to San Francisco!”

Macak smiled coldly, “McCord met Captain Nemo in 1867 as well.  I might ask him to take you there courtesy of the Nautilus.”

Hair Ball furiously shook his head NO!  “Ah, Bean here, is allergic to water.  He even gets the bends when Mommie gives him a bath!”

Beanie-Bean protested, “Hey, that’s you!”

Hair Ball muttered, “I knew it was one of us.”

Beanie-Bean scowled up at Macak.  “Any pretty two legged’s in that Xanadu like Mommie?”

Macak nodded.  “There is the daughter of Lord Byron, Ada Lady Lovelace, and the infamous courtesan, Cora Pearl.”

Hair Ball smiled, “They probably would like us … at least me that is.”

Macak smiled his skull smile.  “They are both undead, of course.”

“Yeep!” went both Hair Ball and Beanie-Bean.

From their left came a man’s voice, “Macak, you little minx, stop scaring the nice little doggies.”

A tall, slender man with thick white hair, dressed in a tuxedo, shook his long right forefinger at the now normal cat-looking Macak.  “I am Nicola Tesla and Macak loves to be naughty.”

Hair Ball grumbled, “Is that what you call scaring the poop out of us?”

Nicola sighed, “I had so wanted to meet your Shelly Arkon, but the longer I live, the more I do not get what I wish.  Good-bye, Doggies.”

And with that, both he and Macak disappeared.  Hair Ball turned to Beanie-Bean.  “I can’t take you anywhere.”

Beanie protested, “But we didn’t go anywhere!”

Hair Ball said, “And see what trouble you still caused!”

Beanie buried his long nose in his front paws to sleep and hopefully dream of Macak munching on Hair Ball.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR  

Roland Yeomans was born in Detroit, Michigan.  But his last memories of that city are hub-caps and kneecaps since, at the age of seven, he followed the free food when his parents moved to Lafayette, Louisiana.  The hitch-hiking after their speeding car from state to state was a real adventure.  Once in Louisiana, Roland learned strange new ways of pronouncing David and Richard when they were last names.  And it was not a pleasant sight when he pronounced Comeaux for the first time.

He has a Bachelor’s degree in English Education and a Master’s degree in Psychology.  He has been a teacher, counselor, book store owner, and even a pirate since he once worked at a tax preparation firm.

So far he has written thirty-four books.  You can find Roland at his web page: www.rolandyeomans.blogspot.com  or at his private table in Meilori’s.  The web page is safer to visit.  But if you insist on visiting Meilori’s, bring a friend who runs slower than you.

http://rolandyeomans.blogspot.com/

www.amazon.com/author/rolandyeomans

Beanie-Bean the Blanket Hog

She is one happy fur peep!

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Hair Ball and Beanie-Beanie: The Wrestling Champs

Hello, nice people! Hair Ball, here.



Mummay is in her fifth week with her broken humerus. It's not been much fun watching her do basically nothing. The Doctor-man said she has to sit still, and in an upright position so gravity can help heal the break.

So we try to entertain her. Beanie-Bean aND me have made up our own VWF matches.









And then we all fall down.

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Beanie-Bean: Happiness

Hello, nice people!

Happiness right now is hanging on the couch with Mummsy.



Although, so are Greenie Bones, walks, and chasing Hair Ball.

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Beanie-Bean and a Training Harness

Hello, nice people!

It is me, Beanie-Bean. I'm hiding my face today because ... well.... I broke Mummsy's arm three Mondays ago. She wouldn't let me get to that darned armidillo. It's really his fault. But I'll take the blame.

Mummsy has since talked about putting me in a training harness. The thing sounds hideous.

Anyone ever use one of these on their fur peep...

Beanie-Bean: A Bone Booger!

Mummsy says I have something on my nose.



Hair Ball says I have a bone booger.

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Beanie-Bean and Hair Ball: Happy Labor Day!

Hello, nice people!



Mummsy had to go to The Salon today. You know, where she waterboards and tortures people with cutting tools.

I thought this was supposed to be a holiday!



I, Beanie-Bean, agree. This was supposed to be a treat-filled day. What's wrong with the two-legged person she calls The Manager? She should've been home with ME today.

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Heart Worms and Fleas

When Sir Poops had his third emergency visit to the vet, his breath was short and shallow. I stayed up with him all night thinking his time had come. He made it through so I rushed him to the vet early in the morning.

During that visit, I learned that he had an enlarged heart and water on his lungs.

"Is he on heart worm preventative?" the vet asked.

"Not the conventional kind," I said. "I use Diatomaceous Earth."

"That doesn't work. I'm going to check him for heart worms. That's why his heart is enlarged. I'm sure of it."

I let him run the test knowing my fur-baby had no such thing. Holistic means do work if properly kept up with.

Hair Ball and Sir Poops never had a problem with flea infestations either. A teaspoon of apple cider vinegar in their water bowl kept those critters away plus a bath every other week. One cup of Dawn and one cup of vinegar mixed with equal parts water washed any intruders down the drain. The biggest flea count the two ever had was ONE each.

Anyway, when the vet came back with the heart worm test, he hesitantly announced, "You're lucky. He doesn't have any. But still you should put him on a heart worm preventative."

I shot him a look, and said, "Would you spray your food with Raid?"

"Oh! You're one of them!"

Yeah. I was and still am. My pets deserve the best.

Beanie-Bean: I Am Woman, Watch Me Win

Hello, humans:



I love my new home. Mummsy is great. Daddy-o is a two-legged with fur. He is an anomoly. And Hair Ball ... he's a small creature who thinks he's in charge. He also thinks everything is his like his special spot on the sofa.



Ha! If he only knew. If I wanted that spot, it would be totally mine. Little squirt! He thinks he's going to take my beds from me. I don't think so! Watch this, everbody.





He thinks he is winning.



Not!



I win!



The bed is mine, twirp!



All mine!

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Hair Ball: Beanie-Bean the Bed Hog

Hello, nice people,



Guess who's hogging MY bed plus hers?



Can you beleive she actually dragged mine on top of hers?

This is war!

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Hair Ball: I Am the Master

Hello, nice people!



I love it when Mummsy goes to PetsMart. She always brings back good foodies, treats, and toys.

BUT now I have share with my new sister, Beanie-Bean (I still think her name is stupid).

Anyway, Mummsy brought home two stuffed toys. Frankenstein and Pumpkinhead.



Thanks to Beanie-Bean, Pumpkinhead was annilated immediately so I have no proof that she even existed.



Frankenstein is my toy. Mummsy handed it to me. But Beanie-Bean keeps taking him away from me.



But I whisked it away. I am the master.









And I'm still maintaining my position on the couch.

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