Sir Poops-A-Lot and Hair Ball: What’s Your Nosh Tuesday, Author Barry Parham

 

SPAL: Guess what?

Hair Ball: What?

SPAL: I’m back for another What’s Your Nosh Tuesday. And this time you didn’t succeed in stuffing me into the Great White Watery Abyss of Torture. You’re so stupid.

HB: So. You’re a pansy.

SPAL: I ‘m here to support the new and Indie authors and their published works or anything they’re working on. I’ll be glad to share it with the whole world.

HB: Yeah. For nosh. That’s why I’m here.

SPAL: ***rolls his eyes*** Today, we’ve got Barry Parham.

HB: Yeah. Mummsy says he’s a funny man.

SPAL: Yes. He is that. Let’s give him a big welcome without jumping on him or hugging his leg. Do you think you can handle that, stupid?

HB: ***sticks out his tongue***  Pansy.

SPAL: Whatever. Just mind your p’s and q’s today. ***he looks down at HB and turns to look at Barry*** Nice to meet you.

 

HB: Yeah. Nice to meet you. What did you bring us…I mean what do you like to nosh on when you write?

BP: Vanilla wafers, often; hazelnut coffee, usually; sugar-free Jolly Ranchers, always.

HB: Coffee with cream and sugar? Vanilla wafers…mmm…***he looks at SPAL*** What’s sugar-free?

SPAL: ***elbows his brother***

HB: What?

SPAL: Can you explain to us if it Is crunchy or soft, kind sir.

BP: The wafers are crunchy, and if I get very muddled in the early morning, so is the coffee.

HB: Mmm. Crunchy coffee and wafers. I want some. Are the wafers salty or sweet?

SPAL: ***cocks his brow at HB***

HB: I didn’t do anything wrong.

BP: Sweet!

SPAL: Kind sir, do tell us if it gets your creative juices flowing? Mummsy eats and listens to music and some times she keeps it quiet to get hers going. Of course I help out by sitting right beside her.

BP: I don’t think the food has a clue what I’m doing. Come to think of it, I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.

HB: How could you possibly not know what you’re doing? ***he tilts his head*** I know what I’m doing. Where’s the wafers?

SPAL: Yeah. ***he glances down at HB again*** We know that. ***he turns his attention back to Barry*** Please tell us sir, do you have any books published? If so, what are they? Where can we find them?

BP”Here’s a link to my five humor collections at amazon.com, including my newborn, Full Frontal Stupidity:

http://www.amazon.com/author/barryparham

Here’s a link to last week’s humor column (Also Sprach Bacon Bits)

http://barryparham.wordpress.com/2012/07/15/also-sprach-bacon-bits/

HB: ***Brings out two coffee cups and a sign. *** We except donations. Got any wafers, nice man?

BP: ***drops something in the two cups***

SPAL:  *** he burrows his snout into the cup.***

HB: God bless you, nice man.