Sir Poops and Hair Ball: What’s Your Nosh Tuesday, Author Norma Beishir

SPAL: It’s another Tuesday. It’s time to share another author’s work.

HB: Yep. All for some delicious foodie.

SPAL: Yes. But we’re not going to mess around today. Glowstick is back and he requires a lot of attention.

 HB: Maybe we can get him some good treats, too.

SPAL: We need to stay focused today, stupid. Let me handle the interview and you just keep quiet. And no leg-hugging either.

HB: ***frowns***

SPAL: We’re proud to bring you, Norma Beishir.

 

HB: Hello, nice lady. What do you like to snack on when you’re writing? Tell us why you like it.  ***He looks at SPAL and whispers*** See, I did good.

SPAL: ***nods***

NB: I like a lot of things, but dark chocolate-covered raisins are my favorite. They're soft and sweet and loaded with antioxidants. I love cheesecake, but if I eat cheesecake, I forget all about the writing. Besides, cheesecake causes writer's butt.

HB: Writer’s butt? ***he looks behind, nudges SPAL, and whispers*** Do you think I have writer’s butt?

SPAL: ***whispers*** Just stand there and let me handle this. Remember?

HB: Okay. ***he looks back at his butt and whispers***But do you think I have writer’s butt?

SPAL: ***rolls his eyes and whispers*** No. You have dingleberry-butt issues. Now be quiet.

HB: Oh. ***gives a confused look***

SPAL: Is this nosh crunchy or soft, nice lady?

NB: The chocolate-covered raisins are very soft. Geezers like me need soft food. We don't chew so well.

SPAL: I completely understand. I have to eat soft things now, too. Are these chocolate-covered raisins salty or sweet?

HB:***whispers*** What are dingleberry-butt issues?

SPAL: Shhh!

NB: Sweet...but not too sweet. Just like the two of you. You guys are the cutest interviewers I've ever had. And quite possibly the smartest.

SPAL and HB: ***blush***

SPAL: Thank you, Miss Norma. But I’m the intelligent one of the two.

HB: I’m smart, too! ***whispers in SPAL’s ear*** What are dingleberry-butt issues?

SPAL: Later.***whispers back to HB and turns to Norma***Do the chocolate-covered raisins  get your creative juices flowing?

NB: It gets a lot of things flowing...but that's a good thing. Most of the time.

HB: Will chocolate covered raisins get rid of dingleberry-butt issues?

SPAL:***whispers*** Don’t embarrass us. ***He looks at Norma*** Do you have any fur or feathered-peeps you like to share your nosh with? 

NB: I had a feathered peep who used to be my main muse. Sam. He's gone now. I miss him a lot. He did indeed insist upon sharing my snacks, so no chocolate when he was here. I had fruit. He loved apples. And Honey Nut Cheerios. He liked to dunk them in water like donuts.

HB: It’s the ghost-bird! ***he whispers to SPAL*** Dingleberries and ghosts! Yikes!

SPAL: Shh! ***he whispers to HB and looks at Norma***Do they help you write like we help our Mummsy write? She says we’re her muses.

NB: Fur and feathered peeps are great muses. Sam was one of mine. I also had a pig, a couple of dogs, rabbits...everything but snakes. Snakes are bad. You can't trust snakes. They steal your work and eat your lunch.

SPAL: We’ll remember that and tell Mummsy that one. Do you have any published books out there that your pets helped you with?

NB: Oh, there are a lot of those—sixteen so far. Do you want all of them, or just a few?

SPAL: As many as you feel like giving.

Click here to read blurb and purchase

Click here to read blurb and purchase

Click here to read blurb and purchase

SPAL: Thank you for sharing those. Please share an excerpt from your work in progress if you have something else you’re working on. 

NB: With pleasure! This excerpt in from one of my four works in progress—the working title is Sucker-Punched, and is about five rowdy brothers (their only sister is one of the protagonists of An Army of Angels, sequel to Chasing the Wind—how's that for complicated?). The Cantwell brothers are pro-wrestlers with a real talent for getting into trouble....

I was in the center of the ring with my brother Mike hoisted high above my head, poised for a body slam. The crowd was roaring. It was great. I love it when the fans go crazy like that. Pro wrestling fans are the most verbal, least politically-correct fans in the world. That's what makes them so great—in my opinion, anyway. This is a crazy life, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

Mike was trying to break free. “Come on, Paulie,” he gasped. “This is the third time this week!”

“They love it, Mike,” I told him. “Listen to them!”

“Listen to me, you idiot,” he shot back at me. “I'm your brother!”

“Not here, you're not,” I said, preparing to make my move. In the ring, we weren't brothers. I was the Punisher—no relation to the comic book guy—a Heel, a bad guy, of the first order, and my kid brother was a Face, a good guy known as Pretty Boy. That was a stretch. Mike's a long way from pretty.

“I love you, bro,” he pleaded.

“I love you, too.” Then I slammed him to the mat.

***

“Was it my imagination, or were you enjoying that, bonehead?" Mike asked when we went backstage to the locker room afterward.

I grinned. "What do you think? "

"I think you're an asshole, " my brother said. "I think you like beating the crap out of me."

"I like winning."

“I was supposed to win.”

“You did.”

“Only by disqualification.” Mike was looking for something in his locker. Pain meds, probably. Who said to be a wrestler means being in constant pain? I can't remember—but whoever he was, the dude was right. Bruises, broken bones, torn muscles, concussions....

I was about to head off to the showers but got sidetracked. The reigning heavyweight champion, Mad Dog Mueller, came barging into the locker room, duffel in hand. Mad Dog is the biggest, ugliest creature to ever walk the earth—three hundred-plus pounds of pure mean and a face that looked like it had been on the losing end of a fight with a meat cleaver. There are few movie star faces in wrestling, but Mad Dog's got a face only his legally blind mother could love. And I'm not sure about her devotion to the beast.

His match was next up and he was just getting there. "You do know you're late, right? " I asked. “You're going to be the cause of the boss' next scheduled stroke.”

Mad Dog glared at me. Most of the heels in pro wrestling are nothing like their ring personas, but Mad Dog really is a world-class jackass. "What are they gonna do, start without me? " he asked, pulling off his street clothes. "I'm the champ. It's my show."

"Sure it is, champ, " I said, nodding. Mike was looking from one of us to the other but not saying a word. He didn't have to, really. He thought Mad Dog and me were about to brawl right there in the locker room. It wouldn't have been the first time. But no, I had no desire to roll around on the locker room floor with a naked Mad Dog. The other guys might come in and get the wrong idea, y'know?

“Mad Dog--” Mike started.

“Shut up, loser!” Mad Dog wasn't interested in anything either of us had to say. He pulled on his robe--he was one of the few who still wore a robe out to the ring anymore--and hoisted the heavyweight championship belt onto his shoulder with a smug look on his ugly mug. His entrance theme began, filling the arena with eardrum-splitting heavy metal music as he headed for the ring.

"Don't you think we should have told him? " Mike asked as we went out to the entrance to watch.

I grinned. "And ruin the surprise? No way! "

The crowd greeted old Mad Dog with the usual chant: "You suck! You suck!" He leaped into the ring and threw off his robe, his arms outstretched to allow the unworthy a view of his physique, which was a lot better than his face, visually speaking.

That's when the audience--and Mad Dog--realized he'd forgotten his trunks. The idiot was standing in the middle of the ring, in front of fifty thousand people-- and--God knows how many watching on TV--butt naked!

SPAL: Oooo… this is a really good excerpt. Thank you for sharing with us.

HB: But can’t someone tell me what a dingleberry-butt issue is? Am I going to die from this?

***

Before Hair Ball and I leave, we wanted to remind you tomorrow is Alex J. Cavanaugh’s Insecure Writer’s Group. Mummsy will be posting for that but will be on hiatus through January. At this time the exact date is unclear.

Glowstick is back and he’s walking on two legs now. And he goes everywhere. He never stops.

So Mummsy will be reading blogs and commenting only. She’s been running around the house a lot when Glowstick isn’t sleeping or when she’s away at the Salon.

And also, she’s been wrangling with Create Space to get her margins done correctly for Secondhand Shoes. Only one page came up with a problem this morning.

In the meantime, Hair Ball and I will be dropping by your email boxes for some new interviews for next year.

Happy holidays!!!

Lots of licks,

SIr Poops and Hair Ball

More Feebies

Today and tomorrow, Norma Beishir is giving lots of her books away for FREE.

Alexander's Empire There was a problem with the first freebie so if you have the original one I suggested, you can get another free copy.

Unicorn's Daughter

Have a great day all!

Hugs and chocolate,

Shelly

Another FREEBIE

Today is the last day to get author Norma Beishir’s, Alexander’s Empire for FREE.

CLICK HERE FOR THE LINK AND AN AWESOME BOOK REVIEW

Sir Poops and Hair Ball will be here tomorrow checking out the nosh.

Hugs and chocolate,

Shelly

Sweetman Says

Today, I thought I’d share on my trip to the Dali Museum. I haven’t gone since their move to the new building.

Its pretty awesome and modern looking. The old building was…well…just an ordinary building. It was the right size to house Dali’s work of art which by the way Sweetman says, “He was one weird dude.”

Sweetman says, “I’d never buy any of his art. But I do like his work 1923 and before.”

Well, I can’t say that I would either. Dali had a tendency to draw or paint enlarged genetalia in the strangest places in his pictures. Subliminal-like. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to share any pictures. The museum doesn’t allow anyone to photograph Dali’s masterpieces.

Dali also had a fascination with Freud, math, and the sciences. I also noticed he had a thing for St. Helena, skeleton keys, and pocket watches. IHe would some how interject them into his paintings. Oh and I can’t forget his mustache. He had a fascination with that, too. The picture below, is a bench shaped like his famous facial hair.

Sweetman and I were a bit disappointed with the entrance fee. It cost us 21 dollars a piece for one whole floor of his work. I so wanted to see his murals that hung in the old building. The ones where you could walk to the right then to the left and then back up. Each movement unveiled a different painting. They weren’t there. ***frowns***

But there was a great labyrinth . It took ten minutes to get through.

Hedges lined a sandy trail.

There were messages on the trail. I accepted it as a for-only-me-message since I’m feeling like I’m going to jump out of my skin with the coming release of my book, Secondhand Shoes. Maybe Dali was directing me to pay attention to the message below. I wouldn’t be surprised if he even felt like giving up on his art at times. His work definitely revealed that he went against the norms of society.

So I stayed on the trail.

I made my way out and found a tree with some interesting paper tassels.

There were also some really great palm trees. Perfect, in fact.

Here are some more pics.

 

The next pic is of me. I’m more of a project in the works.

Anyway, Sweetman says, “I know where all the good things are.” But he also says, “What stinks in the kitchen?” He usually says this when he comes home from work and I’m in the kitchen cooking.

I was surprised that he offered to read Secondhand Shoes after the edits were finished…well, the word and sentence edits. After reading twenty-seven chapters of it he says, “This is good for a chic book.”

Hope everyone has a great weekend. I’ll be hair lopping during most of it.

Tomorrow, I’ll be going to a mini seminar in the morning put on by FWA. it’s a free one since all the issues with my daughter and Glowstick, I won’t be going to the three day event in October. For one day, it’s 200 dollars versus 319 dollars for the weekend which doesn’t include the hotel accommodations.  ***frowns***

Glowstick is getting so big. He’s 9 months now and has 2 toofies.

Have a great weekend and Happy Rosh Shoshanna (Happy Jewish New Year)! I’ll be lurking around.

Hugs and chocolate,

Shelly

NEW Book, too. Norma Beishir's, Alexander’s Empire will be out this weekend on Amazon. Sorry. I don’t have a link. It probably won’t be up until tomorrow or later today.

Free is Good

Today only, Norma Beishir offers another book for FREE. Click on the title below and get your copy today..

 

Final Hours

The Blurb

Could you live a lifetime in twenty-four hours?
Jamie Randall thought he had it all...until a close brush with death brought him face-to-face with the one thing that was missing from his life. Now, facing his own mortality once again, he will have to make a choice: one chance to live, or one chance to set things right in his troubled life....
Norma Beishir is the author of sixteen novels, many of which have been bestsellers. Check out her website at http://beishir-books.com/

Hugs and chocolate,

Shelly

It’s Time For A Shelly-Book Review: Chasing the Wind, By Norma Beishir

 

Genre: SCY-FI/Romance/Nail-biting-suspense

I LOVED, LOVED the premise and plot.

Strange but hot man out of nowhere bumps into snarky archeologist who’s looking for funding to keep her dig going in Egypt. Hot man offers to fund the dig and travels across the wide, wide ocean with snarky-chick.

Hot man does everything to get snarky-chick in bed. (No. This is not erotica.)

Snarky-chick refuses on many occasions but her defenses become weakened. Yup. Hot guy nails snarky-chick.

Little does snarky-chick know, hot man is part of some strange DNA cult that wants to create a super-human-race and she’s to be all part of it. The incubator for the anti-christ.

Well, that was the original plan until hot guy actually falls for snarky-chick and gets her pregnant the natural way. This of course pisses off the DNA cult because the baby snarky-chick is carrying… well, it all eludes to the Messiah theory.

So hot guy and snarky-chick end up on the run for their lives. In the meantime, lots of peeps are dying and we find out hot guy really is special. He has the gift of healing and visions. He also has a pipeline to God and two guardian angels keep him, snarky-chick, and the baby safe. Well, sort of….

Get the Book! You won’t be disappointed.

I read it in a week. Really, I could’ve read it in a day. When at work, I could hardly wait to get home to get my hands on it. It was the first thing I read in the morning and the last thing I read before going to bed. I really hated having to put it away to either go to work or bed.

There are many twists and turns. It’ll leave you grabbing for your seat belt and possibly biting your nails. You should probably read this one in your car parked in your garage so you can actually grab your seat belt.

You can find the book on Amazon for your Kindle at an affordable 3.99.

Later in the ink all,

Shelly