Hair Ball
HB: You’re such a pansy! I can’t believe you rolled over onto your back and basically played dead.
SPAL: It was the smart thing to do, stupid.
HB: We were minding our own business looking for a private spot to use the toilet with mummsy’s assistance.
SPAL: You mean toity.
HB: Whatever! Let me finish what I have to say.
SPAL: (He raises his brows) Go on then. We already know who the gentleman is around here anyway.
HB: So we find nice spot. Me in the grass. You in the gutter. (He shakes his head) Pansy. Afraid of getting your paws dirty.
SPAL: Are you going to get on with whatever it is you have to say? Do you have a point to make here?
HB: (He smiles) You’re a yellow-belly. That’s what you are. A yellow-belly! You did nothing to protect mummsy that’s the whole point.
SPAL: What in the world do you mean?
HB: Well, when the black, Goliath fur-person charged toward us, mummsy screamed and you hid behind her before you slipped out of your collar.
SPAL: It’s a tactical tactic I always use and a brave one I might add.
HB: You ran at least three feet away from us while I valiantly stood in front of my mummsy and protected her. I told that beast to get away or else I’d bite him a good one.
SPAL: You looked stupid, stupid.
HB: Not as stupid as you, pansy-boy.
SPAL: But my tactic worked much better then yours.
HB: How’s that?
SPAL: I was a decoy. I lured him away from mummsy.
HB: Oh please.
SPAL: (He smirks) It worked, I detained him with my euphoric scent. Instead of him biting anybody, I offered him delightful and friendly scents from my bum and other places.
HB: (Crinkles up his nose)
SPAL: If you noticed, stupid, the giant fur-person’s daddy-o was able to capture him because of my wise move. Did you think for one moment what could’ve happened if you had bitten him? They would’ve taken you away in a squad car and put you in jail.
HB: Yeah. Right.
SPAL: Yeah. (He nods) Right. You know, on the cop shows, they always arrest the person who causes the injuries. Always.
HB: Oh.
SPAL: Yeah. I think you really need to follow my lead next time.
