Sir Poops and Hair Ball: An Interview With Rocko and Spunky

 

SPAL: Good morning, nice people! We’re back and moving slow.

HB: Yeah. Mummsy’s work schedule has been really crazy.

SPAL: Yup. It has me confused. I can barely tell what day it is.

HB: Me, too.

SPAL: Even thought its crazy, she still finds time to write.

HB: Amazing, huh?

SPAL: I’m in awe. Anyway, we have a treat today. We are being visited by two Kitties today.

HB: What? Kitties? Do they have breeds, too? ***he sniffs around the two while they slink around him****

Rocko: We’re black cats. Mom calls us her little black rats.

Spunky: We were strays and have no idea what breed we are. Unless “stray cat” is a breed?

HB: ****still sniffing the two kitties*** Mummsy says that about me and pansy-boy here when she dowses us in the Great White Watery Abyss of Torture.

SPAL: Yes. She does. Who is your Mummsy?

Spunky: Speaker and author L. Diane Wolfe. She’s also known as “Spunk On A Stick.”

HB: Spunk on a Stick? Is that the same thing as meat on a stick?

SPAL: Boy. You’re stupid, stupid. That’s their Mummsy’s other name. ***he glances at Rocko and Spunky***Ignore him. Does your Mummsy write, draw, or paint?

Rocko: She writes. She also speaks. We hear her practice sometimes.

SPAL: My Mummsy reads her dialogue in some pretty strange voices when she writes.

HB: Yeah. She does.

Spunky: Mom also takes a lot of pictures. I try to hide but that doesn’t stop her.

HB: Our Mummsy takes lots of pictures, too. Especially of us. Do you like hanging out with her while she works on her projects?

Rocko: Oh yes! We like curling up in her lap. Sometimes she won’t let us because she’s really busy, so we either stare out the window by her computer or stare at her in hopes she changes her mind.

SPAL: I love my Mummy’s lap and stupid likes to be at her feet. Where do you like to sit? On their lap? At their feet? Or on their keyboards or crayons?

Rocko: We prefer her lap. If she’s not there, I’ll curl up on her chair. The keyboard is too hard for me.

Spunky: It looks like we lay on the keyboard though. It’s always covered in cat fur.

SPAL: You mean, you’re not hypoallergenic?!

HB: That means we don’t shed and Mummsy can keep us forever and ever. Hey you two, what do you and your Mummsy like to nosh on? And do you share?

Rocko: We like cat treats, especially the Party Mix brand!

Spunky: We’d share, but you might not like them.

SPAL: Stupid might. He likes everything.

Rocko: Spunky also likes ice cubes. He doesn’t eat them, he just licks them.

HB: Hey! I can show you where to get some of them from. I know how to pop the button on our fridge to get some.

SPAL: No. You’re not. We’re going to share links now.

LINKS:

Website - http://www.spunkonastick.net/

Blog - http://circleoffriendsbooks.blogspot.com/

Twitter - https://twitter.com/SpunkOnAStick

Facebook Business - https://www.facebook.com/SpunkOnAStick

How to Publish and Promote Your Book Now is available in print and on all ebook platforms:

Barnes and Noble - http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-publish-and-promote-your-book-now-l-diane-wolfe/1113516811

Amazon - http://www.amazon.com/How-Publish-Promote-Your-Book/dp/0982713959/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1359139094&sr=1-1&keywords=9780982713952

Amazon Kindle - http://www.amazon.com/Publish-Promote-Your-Book-ebook/dp/B00B8X5WEM/ref=sr_1_8?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1359715649&sr=1-8

Purchase links for my other six books are all located on this page:

http://circleoffriendsbooks.blogspot.com/p/spunkys-books.html

 

Bio:

Known as “Spunk On A Stick,” Wolfe is a member of the National Speakers Association and the author of numerous books. Her latest title, “How to Publish and Promote Your Book Now,” covers her publishing seminars in depth and provides an overview of the entire process from idea to market. “Overcoming Obstacles With SPUNK! The Keys to Leadership & Goal-Setting”, ties her goal-setting and leadership seminars together into one complete, enthusiastic package. Her YA series, The Circle of Friends, features morally grounded, positive stories. Wolfe travels extensively for media interviews and speaking engagements, maintains a dozen websites & blogs, and assists writers through her author services.

SPAL: This wraps up this weeks interview. Thanks for coming by Spunky and Rocko.

HB: Hey! ***he looks around*** Where did they go?

SPAL: Well, they did move like slinkies. We’ll be back next week. Now its time for another nap.

Lots of licks!

Sir Poops and Hair Ball

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Interview with Zoe and Schroder on Dognapped

 SPAL: We have Schroeder and Zoe with us today.

HB: Yeah. Charmaine Clancy it their mom.

SPAL: And the author to My Zombie Dog.

HB: Yeah. And today her fur-peeps want to share her newest book, Dognapped.

SPAL: I’m definitely reading this one.

HB: But you haven’t read Zombie Dog yet, pansy boy.

SPAL: My reading pile is high, stupid. You think you can do any better?

HB: ***he waves his paw in the space between them***Yeah. Yeah. Whatever.

SPAL: Enough. We’d like to welcome Zoe and Schroder. Hey! What kind of fur-peeps are you?

HB: ***runs about sniffing his guests***

Schr: I'm Schroeder and I'm a miniature schnauzer, just like the main character in Dognapped?

Zoe: The main character in Dognapped? is Kitty, and she's a human girl.

Schr: Well, yeah, sure, she features more, but the story is really about how fantastic miniature schnauzers are. They just make out it's about humans... it's all politics you know.

Zoe: I think you're the one who doesn't know.

Schr: Someone's jealous because the border collie only has a small part in the book!

Zoe: At least Molly, the border collie, was brave.

Schr: Yeah? Well... well... MUMMY! Zoe's pickin' on me!

Zoe: Sook.

Charmaine: Are you two fighting for attention again? Don't make me come in there!

SPAL: It doesn’t help that Hair Ball is up their bums.

HB: ***his nose is at the back of Zoe*** She smells like musky flowers.

SPAL: ***rolls his eyes at Hair Ball*** Who’s your Mummsy?

Schr: Charmaine is the one who brings home the animals, so I guess she's our Mummy.

Zoe: Although I really belong more to the little one. She sneaks me food.

Schr: Yeah, you are Matilda's girl aren't you?

SPAL: We used to have a No-No-O. But she lives with a Yakov, in Israel now. ***he frowns*** Her bedroom was the eternal buffet. But no more. ***he shrugs*** So what does your Mummsy write, draw, or paint? 

Zoe: Matilda is an amazing artist for a pup, I mean child. She also writes great stories and reads them to me.

Schr: Charmaine writes too, Dognapped? is her second book for kids. She likes to draw too, but doesn't think she's very good at it.

Zoe: Maybe we should mention Emily?

Schr: The other kid? She's got the cat.

Zoe: That's a cat?! Looks more like a rat. 

*both dogs snicker

SPAL: I love cats. I miss mine.

HB: ***Lifts his head from Zoe’s bum*** What’s a cat?

SPAL:***he glances at HB*** I’ll tell you later, stupid.***he looks to Soe and Schr*** Anyway, Do you two like hanging out with your Mummsy while she worke on her projects?

Schr: Of course! I help Mummy when she's typing.

Zoe: You mean sit on her lap and get in the way?

Schr: I help.

Zoe: Yeah, I like to help Matilda when she's reading.

Schr: You do know she can't read through that big head of yours?

Zoe: She needs me to lick her face when we get to a scary bit.

SPAL: I know what you mean.

HB: Yeah.

SPAL: I like to sit in my Mummsy’s lap or bedside her when she works.

HB: I like her feet. They taste good.

SPAL: Where do you two like to sit? On her lap? At her feet? Or on her keyboards or crayons?

Schr: I'm definitely a lap dog. But if no one's around, I like to hop up on the couch...

Charmaine: Schroeder! Get off the couch!

Schr: Never mind.

Zoe: I prefer the feet. I like to lick them.

HB: I’m in love.

Schr: You become a lap dog as soon as there's the first sign of thunder!

Zoe: Shhh, don't tell them that.

HB: Zoe can come to my house during a storm. I’ll protect her. ***he puffs out his chest*** I’ll even share my treats with you. What do you and they like to nosh on? And would you be willing to share them with me and pansy boy?

Zoe: My favourite treat is fish oil capsules. Mummy says they're good for us, but they can't be, they taste too good. I also like to drink from the cat's bowl, just to show I'm not scared of her.

Schr: Look out, here she comes!

Zoe: What?! Where?! Oh.

Schr: Hmm, food... I like it all.

Zoe: Literally. He'll eat anything: Lettuce, banana, chilli, socks...

SPAL: Love bananas. But socks are like pantyhose. I got really sick after I swallowed a pair.

Schr: I'm happy to share.

Zoe: Only because no one else wants the crud you eat.

Schr. Crud good.

HB: Crud? Out Mummsy says that about what’s in the garbage can. Crud is pretty tasty.

CH:Thanks Shelly for having Zoe and Schroeder on your blog today, I hope they didn't misbehave too much.

My newest release is Dognapped? A Dog Show Detective Mystery, it's available from Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Dognapped-Show-Detective-Mystery-ebook/dp/B00CRF1BAE

and will be FREE just for May 22nd and 23rd

My first book was My Zombie Dog and is also available from Amazon in Kindle format and paperback:

http://www.amazon.com/Dognapped-Show-Detective-Mystery-ebook/dp/B00CRF1BAE

I love to connect with readers and writers, and can be found at:

Facebook

Twitter

and my blog is: dream... write... publish

SPAL: We loved having all of you today.

HB: I hope Zoe comes back so I can smell her beautiful scent. Hey! Wanna be my girlfriend?

SPAL: We’ll see you all next week. Lots of licks.

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: What’s Your Nosh Tuesday, Author Janet Rockey

 

SPAL: Today is What’s your nosh Tuesday.

HB: Again?

SPAL: Yes. Today is that day where we help promote new and Indie authors’ published work or something they’re working on from their WIPS.

HB: But we’re supposed to get some nosh in return for this, guys. We like cheese. We’d like to try some chocolate. And we lover watermelon.

SPAL:***looks out to the blogosphere*** Please ignore my brother. He’s stupid and rude.

HB: Well, you’re a pansy, pansy-boy.

SPAL: Anyway, we’ve got one of Mummsy’s critters today. Mummsy calls her the Grammar Angel from her writing group.

HB: Yeah. DO you think she has angel food cake?

SPAL: Is that all you ever think about?

HB: ***smiles***

SPAL: Just behave. I see her coming.

HB: Where?

SPAL: The pretty blonde lady.

HB: She is purdy. Can I hug her leg?

SPAL: That’s not what you do though. You’re a humper. Don’t you dare! ***he looks up*** Please nice people welcome Janet Rockey.

HB: ***hugs her leg*** We’re very happy to see you.

SPAL: ***removes HB from her leg*** I apologize, Miss Janet. ***he looks at HB***Do you want timeout?

HB: ***he frowns and puts his tail between his legs***

SPAL: ***he turns and faces Miss Janet*** I’m so sorry. This is supposed to be a professional  interview. Let us proceed. Do tell us what you like to snack on when you're writing? Tell me why you like it.

JR: I don't nosh while I'm writing because I don't want sticky, greasy, and/or orange computer keys from the Cheetos (cheese that goes crunch!).

HB: ***gasps*** No treats. No cookies. No chocolate. No nosh?!

SPAL: Every one is different.

JR: I find  eating  a distraction.

HB: OMG! I can’t believe this. Absolutely, no nosh!

SPAL: ***shh*** Sorry again, Miss Janet. Just ignore him. He’s got food issues if you haven’t figured that out. So please tell me, do you have any published books out there? 

JR: Yes!

SPAL: That is wonderful. What are they?

JR: They are all anthologies.

God's Handprints (Thy Will Be Done)

Chicken Soup for the Soul: What I Learned from the Cat (Romeow & Julicat)

Heavenly Humor for the Cat Lover's Soul (Silhouette on the Shade)

Heavenly Humor for the Mother's Soul (7 stories)

 

Heavenly Humor for the Dieter's Soul (5 stories)

 

Women of the Secret Place (My Pearl - Shirley)

Also, I will have 2 stories in Chicken Soup for the Soul: I Can't Believe My Cat Did That! (Mewsic Critic & Taming My Ogre) - available September 2012.

SPAL: That’s a lot of cat stories you wrote. Where can we find them?

JR: Chicken Soup for the Soul:

http://www.chickensoup.com/

Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/

Barnes & Noble

www.barnesandnoble.com Or save the tax & shipping...the trunk of my car.

You can also order the Heavenly Humor series from Barbour Publishing:

(http://www.barbourbooks.com/Catalog/ProductSearch)

SPAL: You can also visit Janet at the following:

http://rockeywrites.blogspot.com

 https://www.amazon.com/author/janetrockey

http://www.wordweaversonline.com/

SPAL: Thank you for sharing with us today.

JR: ***pets SPAL and HB***

HB: Yeah. But next time bring something to the table. How do expect me to eat books? 

Saturday With Sir Poops-A-Lot: H is for Hair Ball

 

Before I go further with my post for today, I wanted all of you to know something. I’ve given up on Ms. Dog. But, I’m not giving up on my search for The One.

I’ve marked my territory a good one this week. Saturated it. My biological clock is ticking. It’s an expression I’ve heard on women’s talk shows lately.

Now for the real post. H is for Hair Ball. Mummsy calls him, Honey Bear. What kind of name is that? It’s totally undignified. That’s what! Just look at him! A hair ball!

I can’t seem to get away from him. See, he’s on my mummsy’s robe like it belongs to him or something. He thinks everything is his.

I can’t even politely ask for my favorite treats without him butting in.

See what I mean.

He thinks he’s all that and a bag of Greenie Bones.

A Hair Ball.

Too bad I don’t have my kitties anymore. They’d show him who the boss is. They’d spit him out like the hair ball he is. He’s not fooling me like he does mummsy and daddy-o.

SPALS: No…stop…it’s not your computer!

HB: Is, too!

SPALS: Is not. Oww! My head! I’m going to tell mummsy! (That hair ball just knocked me onto the floor. He’s a head butter.)

HB: Pansy! Sir Poops-A-Lot’s a pansy. That’s why Ms. Dog ignored you. Pansy! Pansy! Pansy! Na…Na…Na. Girls don’t like pansies!

Dear Two-Legged people:

My brother Sir Poops-A-Lot is a real pansy. Don’t you think?

He’s just jealous because mummsy loves me better. I’m cuter, anyway.

What do you think? I’m better, right?