Liar, Liar Pants on Fire

"A little white lie never hurt anyone." That was a line I heard most of my life from my mom. Her little white lies had a tendency to turn into whoppers.

After Christmas, birthdays, or major purchases, you could find her in any customer service line. Her favorite store was Wal Mart. At one time, they took any merchandise without a receipt and gave a cash refund. It was definitely a money making venture for her. And a rather embarrassing one for me.

To this day, I still remember the store clerk at Wal Mart telling her, "Sorry ma'am, but we have never carried this item in our store." The guy even cocked his brow at her and ended the conversation with, "Ever."

"But I just bought it from here."

"Where's you're receipt?"

"I must've thrown it away," she'd say.

"Sorry, ma'am. No receipt. No refund." The guy ran his scanner over the item. "And once again, we've never carried this item."

"Are you calling me a liar?!"

I waited for the guy to whip out a big bar of Dial soap or Tobbasco Sauce. Something she gave my sister, brother, and I when we told big ones or said a really bad word.

I really believe she's the reason why most stores give you a refund on a gift card nowadays.

More to come next week...

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Wishing Everyone a Happy Christmas and New Year!

Hello, nice people. Now that we've been tortured in The Great White Watery Abyss of Torture, we helped Mummsy wrap presents for the Glowstick and say a few words.

We'd like to take this time to wish everyone a Happy Christmas and New Year! Enjoy your families, too.

And beware of Edwin Elf. 

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Thursday's Adventure with Edwin Elf

Edwin: Let's take the car out today. Whad'ya say?

SPAL: I say we all hang out on the couch and watch The Price is Right.

HB: Car ride? I'll go.

Edwin: Come on then!

HB: Okay!

SPAL: I wouldn't if I were you. What if you crash the car?

Edwin and HB: Chicken-pansy! (They head for the garage.)

Edwin: You're going to have to help me open this big door.

HB: Okay. (He helps Edwin and the both hop into the seats.)

HB: Mummsy always uses something called a key to stick in that hole over there. The car doesn't start without it.

Edwin: Elves don't need keys, silly.

HB: They don't?

Edwin: All I need is magic. (The car starts)

HB: I want some magic. If I had that I could have a lot of treats and toys.

HB: This is so much fun. I hope Mummsy let's me keep you forever and ever.

Edwin: Sorry. But I can only stay until Sunday night. Besides, I'm not even supposed to be here. (He backs the car out of the  garage.)

HB: You're not? How come?

Edwin: You know that giant beast across the street they call Tank?

HB: Yeah. He's soooo stupid and barks at everyone. What about him?

Edwin: I was supposed to be there this week reporting about him to Santa. 

HB: You were? 

Edwin: Yeah. But he is only coal worthy....has been for years. I'm sure nothing has changed. And the last time I was there he tried to eat me.

HB: Are you going to tell Santa about me?

Edwin: No, silly. 

HB: Why not?

Edwin: He'd fire me. Besides, you're Hanukkah Harry's territory. (He looks into the rear view mirror and sees blue and red lights) Not to mention, we're in trouble with the fuzz.

A Plethora of Things

I’m sooo excited because I won Lorelei Bell’s book, Vampire’s Trill. How cool is that?

Also, I will be hosting another Hot Men of Blogs this month, December 30, 2011. His magical name will be posted along with his blog address. Just think wands and fairy dust. I do when I read his posts.

As you can see, I’m still trying to figure out how to make pics with special announcements. I’ve got Picasso but does anyone have advice on how to REALLY use it?

Anyway….

Last night, I baked a Death By Chocolate cake and had to throw the darned thing out. The whole thing! It irked me after spending the money for the ingredients and then putting in the time to mix it up and bake it.

Which brings me to this thought. DID YOU EVER HAVE TO THROW A REALLY GOOD PART OF YOUR NOVEL OUT? Especially, after you toiled over it to get it right. Well, that’s what I’m doing now with mine. Tossing out or condensing some really great back story. Too much takes away from certain moments in your story so I’ve been told by the all-wise and knowing beta readers.

And it’s not that I’m tossing it out. Actually, I’m cutting and pasting it all into another doc for possible future use and/or shortening them up.

What do you all do with yours?

And….

I hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas, Yule, and Hanukah!

Shelly

See you next, on December 30th.