Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Happy Chocolate Bunny Day!

SPAL: Good morning, nice people! Happy Chocolate Bunny Day!

HB: Yeah. I want a chocolate bunny. I would give him a leg hug and a kiss and some licks and some raspberries and a belly rub. And then I'd nibble on his ears.

SPAL: ***rolls his eyes*** Anyway, Mummsy says this whole week...since she and Daddy-o practice Passover and a lot of nice people celebrate Easter...well, it's about how God always makes a way to deliver people out of bondage.

HB: And get chocolate.

Have a day full of licks and belly rubs with your families, nice people!

Lots of licks!

A Valentine's Tribute: Phanmalee Khoumpapakdy

I remember scribbling Mrs. Phanmalee Khoumpapakdy during some really boring class time in the tenth grade. Daydreams of what our children might look like one day filled my head. This guy dominated my thoughts non-stop.

When I first met him, we both were attending a Friday night youth group. He definitely caught my eye. Bruce Lee came to mind--I had a terrible crush on him, too. It had to be his moves. 

Anyway, after our first date, Phanmalee and I were inseparable after school. We did almost everything together.

One day we'd be at my house, and the next we'd be at his.

His grandmother would clasp her hands together. "Phanmalee and Shell mare-lee." Then she'd stuff a dried chili pepper between her teeth and chew. Personally, I couldn't figure out how she could keep something that hot in her mouth throughout the day. She replaced them frequently.

His entire family that couldn't speak English had it in their heads for us to get "Mare-lee" one day.

"Make purdy bay-bay," his mom said.

But as you all know, I never married him. In fact, we broke up 8 months later due to cultural differences, and the fact that I had a meddling mother. But he'll always be ingrained in my memory. 

Anyone ever have a boyfriend your family didn't like and why?

Oh and see what the Sweetman got me!

And here's my little Valentine. There's nothing better than grandbaby hugs and kisses.

I hope everyone has a day full of chocolate, flowers, hugs, and kisses today.

Hugs and chocolate, all!

Shelly

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Winner, Winner, Chocolate Dinner and BWFF

SPAL: Hi, nice people. Today, stupid and I are announcing the winner from the cover reveal, The Partners’ Progeny, while I snuggle in these luscious pillows. Mmmmm….

HB: It will be out July 1, 2013. You’re a pansy, pansy.

SPAL: Anyway, we wanted to thank the following for helping do the reveal:

Alex J. Cavanaugh

Michelle Wallace

Donna K. Weaver

Julie Flanders

Norma Beishir

William Kendall

Eve Gaal

Lorelei Bell

Gary Pennick

Joyce Lansky

HB: We did a drawing, too, for a 10 dollar Amazon card. Norma Beishir won. Yay for Miss Norma!

The boys clap their paws together and jump up and down!

SPAL: Before we go, we have a story to tell you.

HB: Yeah. About the two-legged BWFF.

SPAL: It must’ve been a Thursday evening not long ago.

HB: Yeah. Mummsy took us out for out night-night poops and pees.

SPAL: It had to be 10 o’clock. It was before school let out for the summer.

HB: There were three little boys roaming our street. Mummsy said they couldn’t have been any older than seven.

SPAL: So Mummsy asked if their Mummsy knew where they were.

HB: Yeah. That’s all Mummsy said.

SPAL: The little boys said nothing and we went home to get ready for night-night.

HB: Yeah. And we got our bedtime chewy-chews and Mummsy sang to us, gave us some lovey-love, and closed our door.

SPAL: And everything was quiet until, kaplunk, bang, slam, kaplunk!

HB: Yeah. It had me very upset. I thought I was going to have to kill someone.

SPAL: Ha! Anyway, Mummsy came for our help and we all ran down stairs. Someone was kicking and punching our front door.

HB: Yeah.

SPAL: Mummsy opened the door to a very mad BWFF. One hand was balled in a fist and the other one held a beer. Behind this person stood a red headed chick-that’s what Mummsy called her.

And Munmmsy says, “Can I help you, ladies?”

BWFF says, “Who do you think you are asking my son if I know where he is? That’s none of you f&%$#@! business!”

Mummsy looks at them both, while stupid here goes outside to get a belly rub from the enemy. And Mummsy says, “It’s a bit late for little boys to be outside without their parents.”

HB: Nah-uh.

SPAL: Did, too. Anyway, the BWFF starts to yell at my Mummsy, and I stood firm beside her baring my teeth, growling. Nobody hurts my Mummsy. SO Mummsy says, “Why don’t you ladies go home and sleep off your beers.”

By that time, stupid ran back into the house, and Mummsy shut and locked the door. But that BWFF says, “I’m going to call the cops on you for harassment,” while she’s punching and kicking our door.

And Mummsy says, “You do that and have a blast while you do it,” through the door.

HB: Yeah. But that bad old BWFF moved out this weekend.

SPAL: Thank God. The whole street is glad she’s gone. That’s our story. Anybody out there have a crazy neighbor story?

Before we go, we’d like to tell you that Authors for Oklahoma have their first bundles up over at Writers for Mass Distraction. This is a giveaway. Make a 10 dollar donation to the Crowrise link, your name goes into a drawing, and pick which bundle you’d like. This will run from June 25th to July 15th.

Lots of licks!

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: What’s Your Nosh Tuesday, Author Lucy Pireel

 

 SPAL: Hey, nice people. Shhh! Hair Ball is asleep. And today is the day we promote new and Indie authors for nosh. I’m going to try to get through as quietly as possible without my stupid brother’s input.

Today we have Lucy Pireel.

Hello, nice lady. I’m so glad to meet you. What do you like to snack on when you’re writing? Tell me why you like it.

LP: Chocolate, rich, dark and yummmm chocolate, with coffee. Or crisps with wine, followed by chocolate with coffee. Or a cereal bar with coffee and chocolate.

SPAL: That’s a lot of coffee. Don’t you think? Are you addicted?

LP: What do you mean I'm a coffee and chocolate addict?

SPAL: Shh! Nice lady. Apologies. I don’t want to wake up Hair Ball. Anyway is your treat crunchy or soft?

LP: First it's crunchy but when it melts in your mouth it gets deliciously soft.

SPAL: That sounds nice. Mummsy mixes soft food in with my kibble. Is yours salty or sweet?

LP: The crisps are salted, or rather salt and vinegared, but the chocolate is supposed to be bittersweet. You know that 82% chocolate bars are heaven!

HB: ***snores***

SPAL: Shh. ***he points to HB*** You don’t want to wake him. Anyway, Mummsy says the same thing. She loves chocolate. The darker the better. Does it get your creative juices flowing?

LP: It does get me going, that's for sure. Give me a piece of chocolate and I can go on for hours on end. Just don't forget to keep my coffee refills coming too.

SPAL: Too much coffee is bad for you. That’s what Mummsy says. Don’t you have a fur or feathered peep to help you?

LP: Nope, not anymore, alas.

SPAL: That’s too bad.

LP: She used to be my sweetie, but at least I still have the pics to look at and help me remind myself of her funny ways.

SPAL: Awe… Do you have any published books out there?

LP: Poopsie, I thought you'd never ask! Hahaha, of course I have, silly.

There's Red Gone Bad, that small collection of twisted fairy tales.

Available on Amazon (all over the globe and in the universe surrounding us.)

US http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00AFVTYDS

UK http://www.amazon.co.uk/Red-Gone-Bad-ebook/dp/B00AFVTYDS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1359121413&sr=8-1

CA http://www.amazon.ca/Red-Gone-Bad-ebook/dp/B00AFVTYDS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1359121441&sr=8-1

JA (japan, how funny is that?) http://www.amazon.co.jp/Red-Gone-Bad-ebook/dp/B00AFVTYDS/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1359121496&sr=1-1

As well as on Smashwords in any other format

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/260239

The iTunes Store

Kobo http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Red-Gone-Bad/book-SAmNyEi0MkiakJ2Hbaz4Nw/page1.html?s=Ee-8PXxE1Ea71-vbGBn4oA&r=1

SPAL: Could you please share an excerpt from your work in progress.

LP: And Yes! I have a work in progress about to be published.

It will be an erotica BDSM novella called Bound.

An excerpt, mmm, must find a part that's suitable for all to read then, because it's really PG-rated.

Right, I think this might give an idea, but contains nothing which isn't suitable for all eyes to see.

He spread his hands across her desk. Long, strong fingers drew her eyes. What those hands could do under the right circumstances. His voice startled her from her thoughts.

“It’s just that Carrie never asked us about details like that. She’d just put something down and if we didn’t like it? She’d change it.”

“Why didn’t you say so?” Exasperated, she sighed. “I could have done that. We would have been done by now and free to get physical.” She blushed as his eyes widened. For the first time in four months, he saw her for the woman she was! Her heart skipped a beat. Finally! Now she’d only need to get him to play with her.

“Physical? You mean you want to go running? Like now?” He blinked slowly, while his nostrils widened.

“Perhaps.” Amelia leaned back and wet her lips with the tip of her tongue. “Unless ...” she purred, “you have another idea?”

His eyes locked onto her mouth, then on her taut nipples pressing against the fabric of her silk blouse. He swallowed and breathed out. “I’ve got some ideas, but I think you won’t like them.”

“Try me,” she said, voice husky.

“Can you say please?” His eyes darkened.

“Please,” Amelia whispered while she lowered her eyes. She let a small smile play across her lips and placed her hands on her lap.

He rose and walked around the desk. Stood beside her, he turned her chair until she sat opposite him, knees touching his legs. He bent, tugged her forward a bit and spread her legs wide, crouching between them. When his eyes were level with hers, he put a finger under her chin, took a deep breath and said, “Do you really want to play? I mean ...” His hand trailed up until his fingers all but touched the apex of her thighs. “Are you ready to obey?"

“Yes, sir,” she said, eyes cast down. She remained perfectly still, breathing calmly even though her heart beat a tattoo. Finally! She’d been right all along. Now she’d have something to tell her friend Anna about that most wanted bachelor.

“No matter what is demanded of you?”

“No matter what.”

“Hmm.” Raphael rose. “I’m not sure it would be appropriate.”

“Oh, come on! As if you’ve ever cared about what’s appropriate?” She shut her mouth.

His expression turned from playful to serious. “Your reaction is exactly the reason why it might not be wise for us to play games. We need to be able to continue working together.” Then he left without looking back.

“Dammit,” she muttered under her breath. Why couldn’t she keep her mouth shut? How would she ever get him in this mood again?

SPAL: Thank you for stopping by, Lucy. And I’m glad we made it peacefully through this without Hair Ball begging and whining. I hope everyone gets the book.

***

Next Tuesday, Hair Ball and I will be interviewing Mummsy.

SAVE THE DATE: February 19, 20, and 21st. I’ll be having a Spread the News and Cheer on the Run Away Bride Giveaway. I’ll be drawing 2 winners for a 15 dollar Amazon card and 2 winners for autographed copies of Secondhand Shoes.

And everyone gets a FREE ebook on those three days, too.

***

The Glowstick

The Ho-Ho

Boy, they’re getting really big. Hair Ball and I have to hide from them now.

Going to take a nap myself now.

Lots of licks,

Sir Poops

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: What’s Your Nosh Tuesday: Author Cynthia Bagley and Other Announcements

SPAL: It’s a Tuesday, in 2013. We made it.

HB: And we survived the Glowstick.

SPAL: And we’re back today to bring you a treat.

HB: What about out treats?

SPAL: We’re here to support the Indie and new authors out there, stupid.

HB: For nosh, pansy-boy. Don’t forget the nosh.

SPAL: ***rolls his eyes*** We’re here to show off what they’ve published or what they’re working on.

HB: Yeah. But for the nosh.

SPAL: Anyway, today we have Cynthia Bagley. Hello, nice lady.

HB: Where’s the no…I mean what do you like to snack on when you’re writing? Tell us why you like it.

CB: My two favorite snacks are all types of chocolate and biltong. Chocolate lovin' needs no explanation, but biltong, well, is a jerky-like treat that I was introduced to when I lived in Johannesburg, South Africa in 1983. Biltong is like jerky, but it is moist strips of meat. I have eaten ostrich, wildebeest, and antelope biltong. My favorite is wildebeest. Now that I live in the US, I can get beef biltong.

HB: ***his ears prick up*** Meat? I love meat. Is it crunchy or soft kind?

SPAL: ***he elbows Hair Ball*** Meat is chewy, stupid. Chocolate can be either.

CB: They are both fairly soft. With loosing teeth recently, I do better with less crunchy treats, which is too bad. I used to love crunchy treats and potato chips.

SPAL: Mummsy says potato chips are bad for you, too. Okay. Since it’s jerky, is it salty or sweet?

CB: The biltong is salty and the chocolate is sweet. My mother used to make hot carob when I was growing up. It doesn't taste as good as hot chocolate, of course.

HB: Did you say chocolate covered jerky?

SPAL: ***he looks at Hair Ball***Shh…Does this biltong get your creative juices flowing?

CB: Actually it gives me a boost when I am slowing down like when a scene just won't finish properly. I get up, walk around, and eat a treat.

HB: Treats help me finish things, too.

SPAL: Do you have any fur or feathered-peeps you like to share your nosh with?

CB: Sadly, I don't have furred peeps of my own. However, I am an aunt to some Chihuahuas. I met Tequila after she was weaned. She moved into the gardener's apartment. We see her every few days when she goes out for her walk. When Tequila sees (my hubby and I), hears, or smells us, she runs as fast as she can to us so that I'll pick her up. She gives me a lick or two and then falls asleep in my arms.

SPAL: Awe… that’s so sweet.

HB: Yeah. Do they help you write like we help our Mummsy write? She says we’re her muses.

CB: I am not sure if Tequila is a muse. She does give me lots of love, which helps me to write better. She also taught me that you don't have to like everyone. She growls at other dogs and protects her people even though she is so small. I have learned to use that fierceness in my writings.

HB: I don’t like everyone, either. And I don’t like cars, skate boards, roller skates, or strollers. They make me crazy. And I don’t like men in suits or those hoodie things. They’re scary.

SPAL: ***elbows Hair Ball*** This is not about you. Nice lady, do you have any published books out there that a fur-peep helped you with?

http://www.amazon.com/Cyn-Bagley/e/B004ZNSVJK/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1353428319&sr=8-1

CB: I have written a lot—so not sure which one you'd like, boys. My most recent is Ghostly Glimmers III, a short story collection.

SPAL: Please share an excerpt from your work in progress if you haven’t published anything yet.

http://scrambledsage.blogspot.com

CB: This link has my Perchance to Dream novel that I am putting up as a serialized novel.

SPAL: Thank you for sharing today, nice lady.

HB: Yeah. But where’s the chocolate covered jerky?

 

***

Don’t go away yet. We’d like to share tow more things. One is Sheri Lakey’s book tour.

Click here to find out more

***

And Elle Garret is having a cover reveal for her new book, Passing Time.

 

 

The blurb:

Nine dark fiction stories that may just give you nightmares.

A man lives to regret Passing Time. A father will do anything to save his son inExpiration Date. An author finds out her worst nightmare is back in The Devil’s Song. A woman gets more than the claim fee when she takes out vampire insurance in Luna Black.

In Dining in Hell, the Death Valley Diner becomes the wrong place to stop.

A serial killer wants to add another file to his collection in The Vegas Screamer. In Eating Mr. Bone, an undertaker could meet an unfortunate end. A con man meets his first ghost in Land of the Free. And will truth be set free in The Letter?

Publication date: February 11th, 2013

You guys, have a nice day!

Lots of licks,

Sir Poops and Hair Ball

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: What’s Your Nosh Tuesdays with Author, William Kendall

SPAL: Yup. It’s that time once again.Time to share your favorite nosh, and we’ll share your book or excerpt from your manuscript.

HB: Yeah. We’re looking for some really good foodies. I hope there’s no Java Monsters this week. I want some good stuff like Twizzlers or ice cream. What about chocolate? I want some chocolate.

SPAL: Well, today we have Sir Wills, a/k/a, William Kendall.

HB: His debut novel, Heaven and Hell, is about to be released. And I hope he’s got some good nosh like our Daddy-O.

SPAL: So ladies and gentlemen please give Sir Wills a hand. ***claps his paws together*** Make sure you behave today.

HB: ***claps his paws together and sticks out his tongue at SPAL***

SPAL: ***he shakes hands with William*** Welcome good sir. We’re honored to have you.

HB: ***jumps up and down**** Yay! Yeah we are.

SPAL: Please do tell us, what do you like to snack on when you’re writing? Tell me why you like it.

WK: In a word, chocolate. I admittedly have a sweet tooth, so chocolate very nicely does the trick in satisfying it. Particularly anything that mixes chocolate and peanut butter into one scrumptious bit of deliciousness.

HB: Oh my goodness. He loves chocolate and peanut butter. I love peanut butter. It’s good.

SPAL: ***looks at HB*** Don’t start. I love peanut butter, too. ***he faces William again*** So nice sir, can you describe it for us? Is it crunchy or soft?

WK:Usually crunchy, depending on the type of chocolate I’ve got close at hand.

HB: Oh crunchy is nice on the teeth. Crunch peanut butter, too. Mm…

SPAL: ***taps HB on the head*** Shh! Nice sir, is it salty or sweet?

WK: It has to be sweet! I don’t care for salty stuff to begin with- potato chips, for instance.

HB: I’ll take your potato chips. They’re good.

SPAL: ***rolls his eyes*** I apologize for my little brother. He doesn’t always behave well around people and food. Anyway, does your nosh get your creative juices flowing?

WK: It does give me a sugar rush... I don’t know if that sparks the creative impulse though. Just tastes really good.

HB: ***he opens his mouth wide*** I want a sugar rush. I know I asked for that a couple posts ago. No one seems to think its good for me.

SPAL: ***shakes his head***Do you have any published books out there?

WK: Not yet, but I’m close. My solo novel Heaven & Hell is going through beta reading and edits, and should be out soon, and under my alter ego James Morgan, I’m co-writing Same Time Tomorrow. We’re getting towards the end of the writing process.

SPAL: Oh please do share an excerpt from your work in progress.

WK: Certainly!

This is a passage early on in Heaven & Hell, between my two main characters.

“So, there you are.” It was Devon’s voice, behind him.

“Yes, I managed to find a suit,” he replied with a smile.

He turned, and was impressed. Devon was, to put it mildly, simply stunning. She was wearing a silver cocktail dress that was sexy and elegant, in perfect keeping with her sense of style. She gave him an appraisal. “You look like an undertaker.”

He smirked. “And you look beautiful.” That was enough to fluster her.

“Damn you, Stryker, complimenting me after what I just said to you.”

“I like seeing you flustered,” Stryker remarked. “You do look beautiful.”

She stepped a bit closer, avoiding his eyes. “Your tie needs adjusting.” Devon moved her hands up to his throat, and he felt her tighten the tie. “Don’t worry,” she assured him, smirking a bit herself. “I won’t strangle you. At least not tonight.”

“Oh, that’s good to know,” Stryker said, and Devon stepped back.

WK:Thank you very much for hosting me today!

SPAL: Thank you for coming.

HB: Yeah. Chocolate and peanut butter sound really good together.

SPAL: Please come back and see us. I know Mummsy was one of your beta-readers. She really liked it. She’s excited for you.

WK: ***waves bye***

HB: Please bring us some of your chocolate and peanut butter next time.

SPAL and HB: *** both wave bye***

SPAL: You really need to stop begging. People are going to think all we want is their food.

HB: But this was supposed to help us get some good foodies.

SPAL: You better not act that way tomorrow. E.J. Wesley is coming over with his fur peeps.

SPAL & HB: Mummsy’s hair lopping today from 9 to 5 so we’ll be back later to answer any comments.

HB: Bring us some chocolate, too.

Saturdays With Sir Poops-a-Lot: Where’s the Chocolate?

HB: Did you get any in your bowl?

SPAL: Nope.

HB: Me neither. 

SPAL: Mummsy says we can’t have any.

HB: I wonder if any fell between the sofa cushions.

SPAL: If any did, Daddy-o more than likely sucked them up in the Boogie-sucker.

HB: I don’t like that thing. It makes me want to chase and bite it.

SPAL: I just go into my house and hide. It’s way too noisy.

HB: How about No-No’s room? I bet she’s got some.

SPAL: That’s possible. She does have an endless dessert buffet.

HB: Yeah. But her door is closed.

SPAL: Oh. I wish Boo-Boo kitty was here. She was the best for confiscating the stuff. She used to hide it in a cubby hole somewhere in Mummsy’s kitchen. I sure do miss her even though she used to pee on everyone’s bed.

HB: What’s a Boo-Boo kitty?

SPAL: She was my big kitty sister.

HB: What’s that?

SPAL: Never mind, stupid. Let’s keep looking for the treat. There has to be some  crumbs somewhere.

 HB: How about Daddy-o’s side of the bed?

SPAL: Nah. The Boogie-sucker swept around his side already.

HB: I’ve got  a question then.

SPAL: What’s that?

HB: Do you think this guy got some?

SPAL: Looks more like he got a nice kiss.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY EVERYBODY!

HB: Whatever chocolate you all don’t eat, throw our way, okay. But don’t tell Mummsy.

A Plethora of Things

I’m sooo excited because I won Lorelei Bell’s book, Vampire’s Trill. How cool is that?

Also, I will be hosting another Hot Men of Blogs this month, December 30, 2011. His magical name will be posted along with his blog address. Just think wands and fairy dust. I do when I read his posts.

As you can see, I’m still trying to figure out how to make pics with special announcements. I’ve got Picasso but does anyone have advice on how to REALLY use it?

Anyway….

Last night, I baked a Death By Chocolate cake and had to throw the darned thing out. The whole thing! It irked me after spending the money for the ingredients and then putting in the time to mix it up and bake it.

Which brings me to this thought. DID YOU EVER HAVE TO THROW A REALLY GOOD PART OF YOUR NOVEL OUT? Especially, after you toiled over it to get it right. Well, that’s what I’m doing now with mine. Tossing out or condensing some really great back story. Too much takes away from certain moments in your story so I’ve been told by the all-wise and knowing beta readers.

And it’s not that I’m tossing it out. Actually, I’m cutting and pasting it all into another doc for possible future use and/or shortening them up.

What do you all do with yours?

And….

I hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas, Yule, and Hanukah!

Shelly

See you next, on December 30th.

Sundays with Sir Poops-A-Lot and Hair Ball: Yay! Mummsy and Daddy-O are Home!

SPAL: We’ve got our parents back! I’m so happy!(He jumps up and down)

HB: Aren’t you too old to be jumping up and down? SPAL: Never! Let’s see what they brought us. (He dashes toward the kitchen table and the luggage)

HB: Oh, goodie! (He claps his paws together)  I saw a bear in a bag. I hope that’s for me.

SPAL: I smell chocolate.

HB: I smell socks and underwear.

SPAL: Me, too. (He sniffs more)

HB: Do you smell anything else?

SPAL continues to sniff.

HB: Well?

SPAL: I smell things I’ve never smelled before.

HB: Like what?

SPAL: If they’re something I’ve never smelled before how can I possibly tell you, stupid?

HB: Pansy!

SPAL: Stupid!

HB: Move over so I can smell. (He pushes his way over to the suitcases and sniffs) Maybe it’s dirt. I like dirt.

SPAL: You would.

HB: Some kind of food, maybe.

SPAL: Well, do your whine and your dance so mummsy will open up the cases.

HB whimpers and prances in front of the cases. He plops his bottom down and stares at mummsy.

Mummsy stoops down and scoops him up into her arms.

HB: Mummsy, I want a treeaaat. (He smiles and licks her arm)

Mummsy: Are you looking for your treat? (She walks over to the cupboard)

HB: Not the cupboard.

SPAL: You’re soooo stupid! You’ve got her going to the cupboard. We want to see what’s in the suitcases.

HB: Shut up, pansy! Since you’re so smart, you do it. (He wiggles out of mummsy’s arms)

Daddy-o opens his suitcase and pulls out a rock.

SPAL: What are we suppose to do with that thing?

HB: Play fetch.