HB: Yeah. Charmaine Clancy it their mom.
SPAL: And the author to My Zombie Dog.
HB: Yeah. And today her fur-peeps want to share her newest book, Dognapped.
SPAL: I’m definitely reading this one.
HB: But you haven’t read Zombie Dog yet, pansy boy.
SPAL: My reading pile is high, stupid. You think you can do any better?
HB: ***he waves his paw in the space between them***Yeah. Yeah. Whatever.
SPAL: Enough. We’d like to welcome Zoe and Schroder. Hey! What kind of fur-peeps are you?
HB: ***runs about sniffing his guests***
Schr: I'm Schroeder and I'm a miniature schnauzer, just like the main character in Dognapped?
Zoe: The main character in Dognapped? is Kitty, and she's a human girl.
Schr: Well, yeah, sure, she features more, but the story is really about how fantastic miniature schnauzers are. They just make out it's about humans... it's all politics you know.
Zoe: I think you're the one who doesn't know.
Schr: Someone's jealous because the border collie only has a small part in the book!
Zoe: At least Molly, the border collie, was brave.
Schr: Yeah? Well... well... MUMMY! Zoe's pickin' on me!
Charmaine: Are you two fighting for attention again? Don't make me come in there!
SPAL: It doesn’t help that Hair Ball is up their bums.
HB: ***his nose is at the back of Zoe*** She smells like musky flowers.
SPAL: ***rolls his eyes at Hair Ball*** Who’s your Mummsy?
Schr: Charmaine is the one who brings home the animals, so I guess she's our Mummy.
Zoe: Although I really belong more to the little one. She sneaks me food.
Schr: Yeah, you are Matilda's girl aren't you?
SPAL: We used to have a No-No-O. But she lives with a Yakov, in Israel now. ***he frowns*** Her bedroom was the eternal buffet. But no more. ***he shrugs*** So what does your Mummsy write, draw, or paint?
Zoe: Matilda is an amazing artist for a pup, I mean child. She also writes great stories and reads them to me.
Schr: Charmaine writes too, Dognapped? is her second book for kids. She likes to draw too, but doesn't think she's very good at it.
Zoe: Maybe we should mention Emily?
Schr: The other kid? She's got the cat.
Zoe: That's a cat?! Looks more like a rat.
*both dogs snicker
SPAL: I love cats. I miss mine.
HB: ***Lifts his head from Zoe’s bum*** What’s a cat?
SPAL:***he glances at HB*** I’ll tell you later, stupid.***he looks to Soe and Schr*** Anyway, Do you two like hanging out with your Mummsy while she worke on her projects?
Schr: Of course! I help Mummy when she's typing.
Zoe: You mean sit on her lap and get in the way?
Schr: I help.
Zoe: Yeah, I like to help Matilda when she's reading.
Schr: You do know she can't read through that big head of yours?
Zoe: She needs me to lick her face when we get to a scary bit.
SPAL: I know what you mean.
SPAL: I like to sit in my Mummsy’s lap or bedside her when she works.
HB: I like her feet. They taste good.
SPAL: Where do you two like to sit? On her lap? At her feet? Or on her keyboards or crayons?
Schr: I'm definitely a lap dog. But if no one's around, I like to hop up on the couch...
Charmaine: Schroeder! Get off the couch!
Schr: Never mind.
Zoe: I prefer the feet. I like to lick them.
HB: I’m in love.
Schr: You become a lap dog as soon as there's the first sign of thunder!
Zoe: Shhh, don't tell them that.
HB: Zoe can come to my house during a storm. I’ll protect her. ***he puffs out his chest*** I’ll even share my treats with you. What do you and they like to nosh on? And would you be willing to share them with me and pansy boy?
Zoe: My favourite treat is fish oil capsules. Mummy says they're good for us, but they can't be, they taste too good. I also like to drink from the cat's bowl, just to show I'm not scared of her.
Schr: Look out, here she comes!
Zoe: What?! Where?! Oh.
Schr: Hmm, food... I like it all.
Zoe: Literally. He'll eat anything: Lettuce, banana, chilli, socks...
SPAL: Love bananas. But socks are like pantyhose. I got really sick after I swallowed a pair.
Schr: I'm happy to share.
Zoe: Only because no one else wants the crud you eat.
Schr. Crud good.
HB: Crud? Out Mummsy says that about what’s in the garbage can. Crud is pretty tasty.
CH:Thanks Shelly for having Zoe and Schroeder on your blog today, I hope they didn't misbehave too much.
My newest release is Dognapped? A Dog Show Detective Mystery, it's available from Amazon:
and will be FREE just for May 22nd and 23rd
My first book was My Zombie Dog and is also available from Amazon in Kindle format and paperback:
I love to connect with readers and writers, and can be found at:
and my blog is: dream... write... publish
SPAL: We loved having all of you today.
HB: I hope Zoe comes back so I can smell her beautiful scent. Hey! Wanna be my girlfriend?
SPAL: We’ll see you all next week. Lots of licks.