Monday, December 30, 2013

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Happy New Year!

SPAL: Hello, nice people. I know, I know. You and year are spelled wrong. I've had a little too much kibble already.

HB: Yeah. He did.

SPAL: Anyway, we wanted to thank all of you who visit, follow, and comment. We love company.

HB: Yeah. We do.

SPAL: We're hoping for another great year of belly rubs and treats.

HB: Lots of treats! Bring 'em on.

SPAL: We also hope to keep Mummsy motivated to get Killer Stilettos finished and published. 

HB: And White Trash and Pill Heads.

SPAL: And help promote all of you.

Happy New Year!

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Wishing Everyone a Happy Christmas and New Year!

Hello, nice people. Now that we've been tortured in The Great White Watery Abyss of Torture, we helped Mummsy wrap presents for the Glowstick and say a few words.

We'd like to take this time to wish everyone a Happy Christmas and New Year! Enjoy your families, too.

And beware of Edwin Elf. 

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Sundays Adventure with Edwin Elf

Edwin: Today is going to be the most funniest of all. Christmas is coming and we need to look our best!

HB and SPAL: Not The White Watery Abyss of Torture!

HB: But you're my friend. And friends don't torture friends.

SPAL: And we're Hanukkah Harry's territory. He's never done this to us.
(Elbows HB) Told you he was bad news.

Edwin: It's for your own good, you two. You need a good polishing so you can wish everyone a proper Happy Holidays.


SPAL: She won't save us from this. She'll probably help that little demon-elf out.

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Saturdays Adventure with Edwin Elf

Edwin: You know, I've been thinking since yesterday.

HB: Yeah.

Edwin: I have a brilliant idea and it involves that chicken-pansy-brother of yours. But I will need your help.

HB: Okay.


Mummsy comes running down the stairs.   She stops and looks at the trail of toilet paper trailing behind and around Sir Poops. Immediately, she shoves fisted hands to her hips. "Hair Ball? Edwin?"

HB: ItI was Edwin's idea. Not mine.

Friday, December 20, 2013

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Friday's Adventure with Edwin Elf

HB: Wonder
 what we can do today?

Edwin: I just made my famous Magic Cookie Bars.

HB: But what are we going to do after that?

Edwin: After yesterday, I think we'll just chill out with the chicken-pansy.

HB: What? Watch Fox News and The Price is Right all Day?

Edwin: Well, I could be a cowboy and you can be the horse.

HB: Seriously?

Edwin: Yeah. Seriously! Giddy-up! Little doggie! Giddy-up!

HB: I don't find this all that fun.

Edwin: Can't say I didn't try to make things fun today. Don't worry though. I have some special plans for tomorrow and Sunday.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Thursday's Adventure with Edwin Elf

Edwin: Let's take the car out today. Whad'ya say?

SPAL: I say we all hang out on the couch and watch The Price is Right.

HB: Car ride? I'll go.

Edwin: Come on then!

HB: Okay!

SPAL: I wouldn't if I were you. What if you crash the car?

Edwin and HB: Chicken-pansy! (They head for the garage.)

Edwin: You're going to have to help me open this big door.

HB: Okay. (He helps Edwin and the both hop into the seats.)

HB: Mummsy always uses something called a key to stick in that hole over there. The car doesn't start without it.

Edwin: Elves don't need keys, silly.

HB: They don't?

Edwin: All I need is magic. (The car starts)

HB: I want some magic. If I had that I could have a lot of treats and toys.

HB: This is so much fun. I hope Mummsy let's me keep you forever and ever.

Edwin: Sorry. But I can only stay until Sunday night. Besides, I'm not even supposed to be here. (He backs the car out of the  garage.)

HB: You're not? How come?

Edwin: You know that giant beast across the street they call Tank?

HB: Yeah. He's soooo stupid and barks at everyone. What about him?

Edwin: I was supposed to be there this week reporting about him to Santa. 

HB: You were? 

Edwin: Yeah. But he is only coal worthy....has been for years. I'm sure nothing has changed. And the last time I was there he tried to eat me.

HB: Are you going to tell Santa about me?

Edwin: No, silly. 

HB: Why not?

Edwin: He'd fire me. Besides, you're Hanukkah Harry's territory. (He looks into the rear view mirror and sees blue and red lights) Not to mention, we're in trouble with the fuzz.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Wednesday's Adventure with Edwin Elf

Edwin: I've got the perfect fun thing to do today.

SPAL: Ut-oh. I'm going to hide in my box then. Leave me out of this. It's going to be another day of the stupid leading the stupid.

Edwin: Suite yourself, you ole chicken pansy.

HB: I like that. Chicken-pansy.

Edwin: You ready for some fun? We're going slide down the stair railing as many 
times as we can. Where's that 

HB: She had to go get something called an ultrasound today.

Edwin: Good. Nothing and no one can spoil our fun today.

HB: Yeah!

SPAL: I'm still going to tell on the two of you. 

Edwin: Just ignore that chicken-pansy. Come on!

HB: Okay!

Edwin and HB: Weeeeeeee! Kaplunk!

HB: Let's do it again and again and again!

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Tuesday Adventure with Edwin Elf

Edwin: Hey! Hair Ball! I'm hungry. How about you?

HB: You can't eat those. I already tried. Mummsy will get real mad if you do. I have a better idea.

Edwin: The giant food box. The gift that keeps giving. We have several in the North Pole. 

Edwin: You're going to have to help me here...this...door is heavy.

SPAL: I wouldn't do that if I were you. You two need to come hang on the couch like me.

Edwin: Ignore him. He's just a pansy like you said.

HB: Yeah. He is.

Edwin: Hmmm...Jack pot!

HB: Nomnomnom...

SPAL: Ooooo...I'm going to tell. Mummsy! Mummsy! The Stupids are in the food box!

Mummsy: (comes down stairs) What are you two doing?!

HB: Edwin made me do it. (He frowns)

Monday, December 16, 2013

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Hair Ball's Monday Adventure With Edwin Elf

Edwin: Psst! Hey! Hair Ball! Wanna swing around with me today?

HB: I don't know if I should. It looks dangerous.

Edwin: Pansy!

HB: I'm not the pansy. My brother is. Anyway, Daddy-o is in the kitchen watching.

SPAL: Oh brother... stupid leading the stupid.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: U Can't Touch This

 SPAL: Hi, nice people. Hair Ball and I have a new friend.

HB: Yeah. We do.

SPAL: His name is Edwin.

HB: And he's my size, too.

SPAL: Which is a good thing. Maybe you won't chew on him like you did Randy Reindeer.

HB: Those were kisses.

SPAL: Ha! Don't you dare kiss Edwin.

HB: I won't. We have adventures planned.

SPAL: Like what?

HB: You'll see. We have a plan everyday until Christmas.