Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Silly Santa's Adventurous Mystery Continues

Good afternoon, folks! We're up and running again. Now I can finish my story. Well...maybe it'll take a few more posts.
Anyway, I do believe I left off at that Hair Ball being put into confinement.

"When I get out of here, I'm coming for your squeakers!" Hair Ball said. "Mahawawawa!"

Lo and behold, we had some unexpected help.

Edwin Elf! 

And the fierce Snidley Snowman.

They let us know that they understood the in and outs of that beast. 

"Now listen," Edwin said. "He's not as smart as you all think he is."

"He'll be a piece of cake to take on," Snidely Snowman said.

"I'm sorry," Penelope Polar Bear said. "I just don't believe that. Once he's let loose he's coming for our squeakers. He said so himself."
"Where would we all be without Positive Penny, here." Penquin Phil gave her a scowl.

The elf tapped his chin. "I have a plan."

Not long after he said that, the Mummsy-lady came into the room and opened up the cage the hairy monster was in.

We all scattered. Edwin and Snidely ran toward a mountainous wall. 

"This way!" Snidely shouted, guiding us a with his hand.

"Hurry!" Edwin yelled, leaping up the wall.  

"Mahawawa!" Hair Ball charged at all of us. "When I'm done with them," he hollered to Edwin Elf, "I'm coming for your spindly legs. I love spaghetti!"

I ran straight toward Edwin and Snidely along with my friends.

"Use my legs," the elf said. "To pull yourselves up."

I pulled myself up with the Elf's legs as did my friends.

"I'm going to get you! You, traitor!" Hair Ball bared his teeth.

"Aaaaaaa!" Penelope screamed.

"Shut up or I'll slap you silly!" Penguin Phil reached for Edwin. "You seriously need some Zanax!"

A big roar came out of Snidley.

The beast backed off. But he paced back and forth. "I'm going to do to all of you what I did to Randy Reindeer. I know what I'm having for Christmas. And it will be a merry one. Mahawawawa!"

So it looks like my friends, the rescuers, and I will have to camp out here for Christmas. So I hope we survive and that you all have a Merry Christmas.

Silly Santa signing out for now!

To be continued...

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Silly Santa and Freedom of Speech

Hello, folks! Silly Sant here. I've been unable to get our story out about Randy Riendeer. There have been some issues with Blogger. 

However, I'm of the opinion that this mongrel is the one behind the suppressing of my right to get the truth out there.

This fury fluff-ball isn't innocent. I believe he has conspired against myself and my Pets Mart friends.

But I will not be faint of heart. Some how, some way, I will prevail and exercise my right to Freedom of Speech!

Monday, December 15, 2014

Technical Difficulties

Currently, Silly Santa is having issues with Blogger. He's gotten an error message that his computer's browser is not supported by Blogger and is unable to download his pictures.

Hopefully, he'll be able to post everything within 24 hours.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Silly Santa's Mystery Adventure Continues

Monday, I left everyone hanging. Sorry about that. Now on with my story!

Like I said before, I stood fearless in front of the beast. "Let Lucky-Clucky go! You mongrel!"

In the blink of an eye, that Mummsy-lady scooped up Hair Ball. 'It's time for a bath," she said in a sing-song-sort-of-way. It reminded me of Mrs. Silly Santa. Her voice sounds the same way.

Anyway, the Mummsy-Lady whisked him away up some stairs, and we followed.

We had to leave a wounded Lucky-Clucky behind. I wasn't sure if he'd ever get his squeak back. I pondered it as we followed the Mummsy-Lady.
"We really should've stayed with Lucky-Clucky," Penelope Polar Bear wailed. "His squeaker is all gone. He lost his beak, too!" She went on and on all the way up the stairs.
"Shut-up! Will you!" Penguin Phil lost his patience. "Don't ever ask me ever again why you're still not married. Now I know why.
Penelope sobbed more.
"You're going to die an old maid, I tell ya!" Phil had an issue speaking his mind.
"Okay, you two. Enough," I said. "Our focus is to find Randy Reindeer and help Lucky-Clucky get his squeaker back."

We finally made it to the top of the stairs and made a right into a large, peculiar-looking room. It resembled a high tech torture room ... close to Gitmo. The beast was there tied to a red wire. 

My compadres and I hopped onto the torture pits ledge.

"Hey! Beast!" I yelled.

With his snout, that Hair Ball knocked me off my feet.

"You wanna fight, big man!" Penguin Phil did some fancy footwork and threw two punches at him. "I'll show you!"

The monster swung his giant head toward Phil, and sniffed.

"Let's go!" Penelope Polar Bear cried, visibly shaking. "We should get Lucky-Clucky while we can! He needs his squeaker back before he dies." She jumped off the ledge and hid in a corner.

The Mummsy-lady came into the room, leaned over us, and turned on a knob. Water poured out of a spicket.

Next, she began pouring cups of it over the beast.

Hair Ball let out a couple of yelps.

"We'll be able to get some answers now," Phil said, rubbing his hands together.

"Good old fashion water boarding," I said. And to the Mummsy lady, I said, "Thank you, ma'am. What would you like for Christmas?" 

She didn't respond and squirted blue stuff all over the hairy creature.

He squealed and quivered.

When she finished with the blue liquid, she roughed him up into a lather. Then, she left the room. 

It was my chance to question him.

"What did you do to our friend Rany Reindeer, beast?!"

"I'll tell you if you let me go."

"Don't trust him!" Penelope hollered up at me. "He's smarter than he looks!"

Before, I could get anything out of the mut, the Mummsy lady came back into the room. More water boarding began. But after, she wrapped him in a towel and picked him up. "You smell so much better. No more dirty sock stink." She spoke in baby-talk and dashed out of the room.

My compadres and I followed her down the stairs. There, she put him in confinement.

I glared into his scowled face and he said, "When I get out of here, I'm coming for you and your friends' squeakers! Mawahahahaha!"

To be continued next Monday...

Sunday, December 7, 2014

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: Silly Santa Reports and Lucky-Clucky

It's Monday, folks. And I, Silly Santa along with my compadres: Lucky-Clucky, Penguin Phil, and Penelope Polar Bear had set out to search for Randy Riendeer and his whereabouts. But sometimes the best laid plans can go amuck.

So far, we have found absolutely nothing. However, we believe we found the suspect, Hair Ball's  food bowl.

So we searched out into the great unknown for more clues. This is when things began to heat up.

We encountered the suspect. He sniffed and then stared at our compadre, Lucky-Clucky. It made me a nervous-nilly.

"Lucky-Clucky," I said. "Whatever you do. Don't move."

My poor little friend shook, nodding his head. I know he was counting on me.

Everyone else froze.

Before our friend could even let out a cheep that beast knocked him over.

"Put 'em up! Put 'Em up!" Phil did a shadow box dance around the criminal, swinging his fists at him.

"Oh dear! Oh dear!" Penelope Polar Bear shouted.

Without notice, that Hair Ball grabbed up Lucky-Clucky.

His screams pierced my eardrums.

"Don't worry!" I hollered. "We'll save you!"

We climbed a nearby ledge, thinking we'd sneak attack him.

But the monster had Lucky-Clucky between his teeth. We couldn't tell if he was dead or alive. He had suddenly fell silent.
"He's dead. I just know it!" Penelope had a hard time being positive.
Phil crossed his arms. "Shut your pie hole up! Will you?" To me, he said, "Why in the world did you ever think bringing her would help?"
"We don't have time for this," I said. "Lucky-Clucky needs us!"

We were at a loss as to what to do. But we scurried down the ledge and followed Hair Ball into a strange room.   

We did our best to blend in with a bowl of fruit and come up with a plan.

"But I think he's dead," Penelope cried. Her fur cheeks were soaked. "Can't we just go home before we're next? I already know what happened to Randy Reindeer." The poor dear wailed herself into hysterics.

"I told you, we should've left her at Pets Mart." Phil gave me a scowl.

"But she's a fierce polar bear," I said. "She's our best chance."

"Ha! Look at her. She's a blubbering mess," Phil said. He was right. There was only one thing to do.

Hiding in the fruit bowl gave me some time to figure out what we were going to do. We decided since I was Silly Santa that I would be the one to confront the beast.

"Hey!" I stood tall and fearless before the wild beast.

To be continued on Wednesday...

Friday, December 5, 2014

What is a Drug Addict?

I wrote a poem of sorts the other day and posted it to my Facebook wall. So I'm sharing it here since it pretty much goes with my Thursday/Friday theme. Not to mention, I went south to visit my grandsons. And that seems to slap me in the face every time I go back. Memories suck sometimes. No to mention, daughters number 3 and 4 struggle with drug addiction. Its a constant battle.

So here it is:

What is a Drug Addict?

A daughter
A son
A wife
A husband
A mom
A dad
They expect everyone to cater to their needs
Pay their rent...
Buy their gas
Buy their food
While they invest in their habit
They're emotional thieves
Stealing their families love
Their trust
Their money
Always blaming everyone around them for the addiction they crave
No one matters
Nothing is good
Everyday is a bad day
It's always someone else's fault
Life dealt them a bad deck
They're skillful hunters
Seeking to use whatever weapon against their prey
Leaving their entire family bruised

Shelly Arkon 2014
Hugs and chocolate, everyone!

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Sir Poops and Hair Ball: ISWG: A Silly Santa Mystery

Ho-Ho! They call me Silly Santa and I'm on a mission to find Randy Reindeer. He was last seen with a woman named, Mummsy. She brought him to her house in a Pet's Mart shopping bag sometime last year around this very same time.

Me and my friends,

Penelope Polar Bear


 and Penguin Phil are here to help me in my search.

It's been rumored that someone named Hair Ball may have ravaged poor Randy Reindeer. Below is  the suspect's mugshot.

Don't let this creature fool you with those sappy-innocent-looking eyes. He's armed and dangerous with some sharp artillery. The best known to man, the fur, and feathered kind.

This was the last we heard of  Randy Reindeer. 

Has anyone seen him? 

We'll be back Monday with a full report on what we found.

This post was brought to you by Alex J. Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Group, where writers cry and laugh together, whine and encourage each other.

I hope I got the last part right since I deliver toys for a living.

Cookies and milk to everyone!
Silly Santa