SPAL: Mummsy says your too short and that you’d never be able to see over the steering wheel, stupid.
HB: Am not, pansy.
HB: Whatever. I’ve got a big friend coming, and I bet she can drive because she’s way bigger than you.
HB: Yeah. Well. Here she comes, pansy. Bet she can beat your butt, too.
HB2: Hi, I’m Honey Bear. The picture below is of my nephew and me. I’m the beautiful ginger-colored one.
HB: Can you drive a car?
HB2: Um…***scratches behind her ear*** A car? No. Although I’m quite smart, I don’t write, either. My mom would have a fit if I messed with her computer.
HB: Awe man! I was hoping we could go for a spin in my Mummsy’s Jetta.
SPAL: ***smirks at Hair Ball and then looks to Honey Bear*** You sure are big. What kind of fur-peep are you?
HB2: I’m a golden retriever.
HB: Wow! Do you fetch gold nuggets or something? I like to fetch my ball. ***sniffs at her*** You smell different…***sniffs again*** …you don’t smell like Fiona or Penny.
SPAL: ***cups Hair Balls ear and whispers*** Stupid. ***then looks to Honey Bear*** So who is your proud parent?
HB2:My parents are Joyce and Mitchell.
SPAL: Do either of them write, draw, or paint?
HB2: My mom writes a blog called Catch My Words and has published a story in Appleseeds Magazine. Dad writes legal contracts all the time.
SPAL: ***elbows Hair Ball*** Think you need to be careful. I think her Dad is a lawyer or something.
HB:***blinks his eyes twice***What’s a lawyer?
SPAL: Someone who could help take all your treats and your ball away from you if you’re naughty. So if I were, I wouldn’t hump Honey Bear’s hump or sniff her leg anymore.
HB: ***Gasps and moves away from Honey Bear**** OH. ***He looks to Honey Bear*** Do you like hanging out with your parents while they work on their projects?
HB2: Where ever they go, I shall follow.
SPAL: Yeah. We love to follow our Mummsy. Where do you like to sit when they’re around?
HB2: I always lay at Mom and Dad’s feet.
HB: Feet are tasty. Speaking of tasty, what do you and they like to nosh on? And would you be willing to share?
HB2: I’ll eat anything they give me, although I have all kinds of allergies so my parents don’t give me much. Share? Are you serious? If I shared, I wouldn’t have as much and that would be sad.
SPAL: Awe. I have lots of allergies, too. Mostly to commercial dog foods. I have to eat very special.
HB: Yeah. He’s a pansy. And seriously…you need to share! Or I’ll----
SPAL: ***whispers to Hair Ball***What? Did you forget her Dad’s a lawyer? She doesn’t have to share anything with you, stupid, except slapping you with harassment.