Thursday, September 1, 2011

Contessa and Arthur: The Underwear Challenge

Can you believe Scarlett and James, a couple of corn dogs, from Basking in the Afterglow, and Riley and Michael, a nice couple, from My Characters Lives, gave us a panty challenge, Arthur? OMG. Really? How personal do these people think I want to get? ***She crosses her arms across her chest and rolls her eyes.***

But Tessie, it’ll be fun. Really it will. Maybe I can have my way with you and finally make you completely mine. ***He walks closer to her and grins. The tips of his fangs touching his bottom lip.***

Seriously, Arthur! You think your vampire magic is going to work on me here in front of an audience. ***She hugs her arms around herself.*** You know what I need right now? Chocolate. Where’s the chocolate?

Awww, Tessie, my love. ***He presses his forehead against hers and snakes his arms around her waist.*** Why do you let chocolate come between us?

***She swallows an imaginary lump.*** Don’t we have questions to answer? ***Her heart pounds against her chest.***

***He nuzzles his nose below her ear lobe and breathes her in.*** You smell delicious. Like chocolate.

Seriously, Arthur! ***She manages to push him away at arm’s length.*** Let’s answer the silly questions.

1. What do you call your underwear/undergarments? Do you have any commonly used nicknames for them?

My Vickies, of course.

What underwear? ***He grabs her hand from his chest and trails it down to the top of his trousers.***

***She glares at him.***Not in front of all the people. OMG! What will my mother think?

She thinks your dead, my love. Remember?

Next question. ***She relaxes into him, dropping her hand down by her side.***

2. Have you ever had that supposedly common dream of being in a crowded place in only your underwear?

That’s about how I feel when I’m around you.

Oh but, I dream about you naked without your Vickies. Though your Vickies do accentuate your lower half. ***He presses her tighter into him.***

Is that a Three Musketeer's Bar hiding in your pants?

Tessie, we do have other questions before I unwrap the confection. ***He whispers in her ear.***

3. What is the worst thing you can think of to make underwear out of?

Preparation H.

***He jerks away from her.***


The thought unnerved me. You’re not planning something are you?

***She shrugs.***

Next question, please.

4. If you were a pair of panties what color would you be?

Dark chocolate.

***He pulls her back into him.*** Sounds delicious.

What color would you be? ***She squirms in his embrace.***

Nude, of course.***He vines his arms around her, squeezing her tighter, resting his chin on her shoulder.***

Stop it, Arthur. We’ve got more questions to answer. ***She wiggles more.***

***His hand massage-travels to her bottom.***

Seriously, Arthur! Next question. ***She moans.***

5. Have you ever thrown your underwear at a rock star or celebrity? If so, which ones? If not, which ones?

Absolutely not. It’s terribly un-lady-like.

But you’d throw your Vickies at me. Wouldn’t you?

Look, get me some Ben and Jerry’s Fudge Brownie ice cream and we can discuss me throwing them at you. Okay?

Can I have a little taste? ***He brushes his fangs along her throat.***

****Electricity zig-zags through her body and she shudders.*** Answer the question, Arthur.

I don’t wear underwear. Remember?

6. You’re out of underwear what do you do?


Once again, I don’t wear any. ***He swirls his hands around the cheeks of her bottom to her hips.*** We could take yours off now.

***She manages to free her arm and throws a punch into him.***


Next question.

7. Are you old enough to remember Underoos? If so, did you have any? Which ones?

Huh? Never heard of them. I can always Google them later.

***He catches her off guard and let’s out a howl, pulling her into him again.**** Underoooooooo! ***He presses his lips to her throat, washing his tongue up and down her flesh.***

***She moans before she pushes at him but his fangs prick at her exposed skin. **** Seriously, Arthur! I need a Kit Kat or something, now!

Aww, but we’ve got a couple more questions to answer. Can I taste you after?

What are you? Nuts? Speaking of nuts, do you think I can get a Milky Way or a Mars Bar when we’re done? Please?

***He lets out a loud sigh and collapses his head into her shoulder.*** You’re driving me crazy, Tessie.

8. If you could have any message printed on your underwear, what would it be?

Chocolate goodness.

Let me in. Let me in. ***His hands travel up her back and down to her hips.” Please, Tessie. Please.

Not until, I get my diamond and more chocolate. You know the deal. Next question.

9. How many bloggers does it take to put panties on a goat?

That sounds perverted. Putting panties on a goat. I think someone needs to contact PETA.

It’s a joke. It’s one of those college jokes.

It’s animal abuse. ****She punches his chest and backs away from him.***

Tessie, please. It’s only a joke. Really.

Well then, since it’s a joke we need to pass this onto someone else. How about……

Sabrina and her vampire of choice at Something Nebulous Within

EJ Wesley (He can’t go unscathed) at The Open Vein

Lila and Max at Secondhand Shoes, A Novel

But Lila doesn’t like Max.

***She shrugs.*** Maybe she can put him in his place.


  1. Very Funny characters you got going here and those answers were hilarious!

  2. They do make chocolate panties. I saw them at Spencer's Gifts in the mall. LOL

  3. Siv: Thank you.

    Eve: How do you know? Did you buy 'em?

  4. I do so love the panty challenge..and these horndogs do it so well. OMG. I knew about the candy panties...but chocolate too. I'm in. Shelly, you know Eve probably came up with the idea. :)

  5. Contessa has a completely one track mind, I see...

    Come to think of it, so does Arthur....

    I love the line about the three Musketeers bar!

    And what is it about vampires and mind control anyway?

  6. @ Laila: You know what they say about good Catholic girls, Right?

    @Sir Wills: Well as you can see, Contessa is unique and doesn't fall under a vampire thrall. Chocolate is her thing even though she does love Arthur.

  7. I love Contessa and Arthur...Riley and Michael apologize, but they couldn't help but nominate them. Tomorrow, Alaric and Aislinn from "The Bracelet" will be telling all about their Underwear!

    Great blog...!

  8. Hahahaha I enjoyed this. The two of them are pretty cheeky and fun.


  9. This cracked me up. Do I have to talk about my underwear now? It won't be nearly so funny. Most of the characters I write are in their teens, so I'm pretty sure I could go to prison for that ... :-)

    I'll consider doing this on my blog, but I'll never forgive you for it! lol

  10. Aw, Shelly, You are one hilarrious girl. I enjoyed this very much. Give me the weekend and I'll come up with something. I think my publisher will like it over on his site as well!

    I'll not say which vampire Sabrina might choose . . . oddly that you chose THAT site : "Something Nebulous Within"

    I can't wait to see what E.J. will come up with, he wouldn't send me any beef cake. I'm still waiting E.J.!!! YOu could be on Hunks Thursday yet!!!!

  11. Beth: No problem. Contessa ate a pint of Ben and Jerry's Fudge Brownie ice cream. All is forgiven.

    Misha: I'm always glad to make everyone laugh.

    EJ: You're one of the blog hotties. Right along with Sir Wills.

    Lorelei: Smiles to you! I can't wait to read yours.

  12. I loved it. It was fun to read.

  13. Hey Shelly, just wanted to share my 'underwear' response with you. Thanks again for including me, it was a lot of fun!


Let me know what you think.