Tuesday, January 10, 2012

I’ve Lost My Writing Room Again and Freezer Spiders

Yup. I’ve lost my beloved writing room. Right after Thanksgiving, No-No moved back in.

“I’ve got twelve days left in the homeless shelter and then they’re kicking me out into the streets,” she said, tears spilling down her cheek. I believe they puddled around her feet and drowned Sweetman’s heart.

Well…I didn’t want my daughter in the street either but she needed to learn some lessons.

1. Never give up your job or your life to a religious Sausage. Especially, if you’ve met them on Facebook. Remember when she moved to NYC?

2. Don’t ever get complacent. LOOK FOR A JOB! No-No went from friend’s house to friend’s house since she came back to Florida. The last friend drove her to the homeless shelter.

3. No matter where you’re at THERE ARE RULES! Follow them or else!

4. No one likes a SLOB! Do your part in keeping the common areas clean and respect the father-figure in the house even though he is a serious PITA!

So folks this is my writing area again:


Yup. I’m back out in the kitchen with Sweetman’s scrutinizing eye. Anything out of place makes him crazy. But what I’m about to show you makes him even crazier. Insane, in fact.


The above picture was my desk. I can’t seem to make heads or tails of it now that its been taken over by No-No.


No-No has no problem living in the midst of any pile. Books. Smelly, dirty clothes. Dirty dishes. Forks. Spoons. Bags of food.

“I don’t understand where all the spoons and glasses are going,” Sweetman said, opening up the dishwasher. “Isn’t there any spoons?”

“Yup. You’ll find them somewhere in No-No’s room.”

Not to mention, No-No is seriously nocturnal. She’ll sleep until 1 or 2 pm everyday.


“Hey,” I said. “Don’t you think you should go to bed at normal hours so you’re up early. Job searches and interviews happen in the morning not at midnight.”

“But you don’t understand,” she said, pulling the covers over her head. “My eyes hurt at night and I can’t sleep.” The child has a secret box of hidden excuses somewhere. I swear she does. I need to borrow it for future projects.

So she’s back home occupying my office as her tomb. Sir Poops and Hair Ball are happy as pigs in shit. They’ve got their rancid smells and open-all-day-buffet again. They have absolutely no problems with it.

As for freezer spiders…


We’ve got them! And they’ve been spinning a blizzardry(I made up that word…okay…say it three times holding your tongue) weave throughout our freezer. This is the closest thing to being snowed in as I get. It’s no fun having to pick through the ice to get to the food. It’s taking me some serious survival skills, too.

Thank God, the spider killers will be here tomorrow.

That’s all for now folks!

See you all later in the ink,



  1. Sorry you lost your office, and that the freezer spiders are hiding your food (that last part made me laugh). I hope you are able to concentrate on your writing.

  2. That freezer pic looks like the closest thing I'll get to being snowed in this winter too and I live in the mountains of New Hampshire.

    So sorry you lost your writing room. I lost mine for a few days in November. It was not a happy experience.

  3. We should introduce No No to Collin. I've dubbed his bedroom The Landfill. We had a big German Shepherd. That dog would not go in his room, even if he had something to eat that she really wanted. she'd stand in the doorway and whine. She was afraid if she went inside, she would get lost....

  4. @Miranda: I'm getting it done despite the upset.
    @Norma: I was thinking the same thing.
    @MJ: No. It's not fun when you lose your writing room.

  5. Sorry to see that you've lost your writing space, but No No needs you:(. At least the snow spiders will be gone soon!

  6. Oh Shelly this will pass soon. No, No will find someone else to mooch from or get a job--don't worry, just try to remember the good times. Sending big hugs your way.

  7. Maria: True the freezer spiders will go away.

    @Eve: That was funny! Sending you a hug back.

  8. You could always send No-No in to do battle with the Freezer spiders.

    I've never heard of Freezer Spiders.

  9. Boy, Shelly, I umderstand this whole blog and know the frustrations!

  10. @Sir Wills: I made it up...not the frozen freezer but the Freezer Spiders.

  11. No-No could work for me for a week. Guarantee she'd find a job. After working for a Sith Lord, all other jobs look good.

  12. @ Shelly: they sound like something from a cheesy Syfy Channel movie.

  13. Tough situation. I would discourage the late sleep for sure, but how much can you do when you're working. You are very kind to move your desk.

  14. Oh Shelly...I just hope and pray this sort of thing doesn't happen to me one day. (I mean the No-No part)...

    As for the "freezer spiders", I have them too. I'd really like the little bastards to go away...(BTW, I'd never heard of that either)

  15. Bad luck on losing your writing space. I hope that No-No finds her feet sometime soon.

    Good luck with the Freezer Spiders. I heard they're nasty. ;-P

  16. I'm sorry to hear you lost your writing space! :(

  17. @Tonja: Adult kids are tough today. It's not like you can threaten them with time out.

    @Mike: Maybe I should ship her over to you.

    @Norma: They do have some cheezy sci fy movies don't they.

    @Beth: I hope you're daughter will be fine as well. Don't know the magic potion for it though. Anyway, freezer spiders is what my mind made up. It was better than blaming Sir Wills for it.

    @Misha: Thank you.

    @Golden Eagle: Me, too.

  18. I'm sorry you've haven to give up your writing space. She sounds just like my teen/twenty-something siblings. Always an excuse for why they can't sleep when they're supposed to, sleeping in late, disappearing cutlery. Heck, I cleaned my brother's family suite because it grossed me out and I found cups, bowls and cutlery under the sofa. Really!?

  19. I know what's it's like to lose a writing space :(
    At least you have a nice view from the window.

  20. Shannon: It seems today that is how the majority of young peeps are. I've armed myself wtih patience.

    Lynda: Yes. Florida sunshine shines right through it.


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