Saturday, January 21, 2012

Saturdays with Sir Poops-A-Lot: Chicken Soup and Popsicles

Hey! It’s me Hair Ball.


I’m in charge of the blog today. And boy do I have a story for you. It’s about my pansy brother, Sir Poops. Mummsy and Daddy-O don’t call him Sir Poops for nothing, either.

So the story goes something like this. Thursday night, me and pansy boy gather in the kitchen around our Daddy-O for our night-night treat of pita bread and Yarlesberg cheese.

Mummsy followed in after because she was home that night. “Don’t feed these boys cheese or bread,” she says. Daddy-O always gives us really good snacks. Mummsy always gives us healthy snacks like carrots and apples.

“They’re gourmet dogs. Just a little won’t hurt them,” Daddy-O says.

Pansy-boy and me agreed.

“A little then,” Mummsy says. “Just remember Sir Poops is sensitive.”

Yeah, I thought, we all know why he’s sensitive. He’s got pansy-boy genes. He’s such a dainty, little fellow.

Okay. So we get us some cheeses and pita, which made us happy. Mummsy put us to bed with our big sister No-No and all was well.

Friday morning came and all was still well. Sir Poops and me had a good breakfast and we went about our day keeping the Boogies away while our parents were at work.

Come that night, Sir Poops decides to poo on the nice, new wood floor. Daddy-O had it cleaned up right before Mummsy got home from work.

Mummsy thought my brother was being his usual picky self about where he wanted to do his business.  Daddy-O didn’t tell her my brother was having The Great Poop Falls falling from his bum. It was a river.

So we go to bed around eleven. Everything’s good. I’m sleeping. Sir Poops is snoring. No-No’s talking in her sleep.

“Owie-owie,” Sir Poops says. “My stomach hurts real bad. Owie-owie.” He cried like a little girl and this horrible smell filled the room like something died.


I get up from my bed and go sniff at him. You know, making sure he’s okay like a good little brother.

Well, he made a big poo all over No-No’s bed so I had to pop her in her head to wake her up. It was a long sleepless night for all of us after that.

So this morning, Mummsy gave him this stuff every fifteen minutes because he wouldn’t stop pooing.


Right now, she’s boiling a whole chicken and some rice just for him.



And he’s gotten like five whole popsicles, too. Plus, Mummsy says he’s going to get a new bed, pillow, and blankie because he pooed all over them today.

You know what I think, I think he does this stuff just to get special attention and new stuff. I think he took more pieces of cheese when no one was looking the other night just to make himself sick. Isn’t that a syndrome?

Anyway, pansy-boy is in his house clad in two diapers with a bowl of melted popsicle. So far, since about 3 o’clock he hasn’t pooed, thank God. Mummsy and everybody acted like he was going to die or something.


***Sigh***Sigh*** But, I’m glad he’s better. I would miss him if he weren’t here. He’s okay for a pansy-boy.


  1. Thank goodness Mummsy knows what to do under these conditions--just be thankful Hairball that you're healthy!

  2. Miss Eve: I love my big brother but he's such a pansy.

  3. Aw, I hope HB gets better - and SPAL, be extra nice to him, will you? Just for a little while?

  4. Hi Shelly. I hopped over here from Lydia Kang's site. Entertaining post. Hair Ball has a very distinct voice. A few weeks ago, I was a bit hesitant to publish my post entitled "When Cats Puke," and indeed it inspired a few ICK's. Perhaps it would have been more palatable if I had written it from one of the cats' perspectives...

  5. MISH: SPAL is doing much better. He had me worried though.

    Katie: One of the things I love most is to write from the character's perspective. I can literally hear how their voices sound in my head.

  6. I'm so glad that SPAL is feeling better!

  7. Sorry he got sick, but great post. I think Hair Ball deserves a new chewy toy! I hope SPAL stays well. Lactose intolerant maybe?

  8. Hey Shelly! I hope the pooing has stopped! I used to have a dog like that...anything out of the ordinary food-wise and she would poo and puke for ages...ugh! HairBall is such a good little brother.

  9. Why am I not surprised at you two being described as gourmet dogs?

  10. Of course they're gourmet dogs!

    My sympathies go to No No. I wouldn't want to wake and find that in my bed....

  11. I tried to post last night...let's see if Blogger is working today...

    I hope SPAL is feeling better...HB, don't be so hard on your brother...

  12. @Laura: SPAL is still having the runs but nothing compared to yesterday. We had to re-dose him on the homeopathics today and he's back in his diapers. If he's not better by tomorrow after a steady diet of mushy rice and broth, he'll be in the vet's office.

    @Tonja: He's definitely that.

    @Eve: It's real hard to get the poo smell out of the house. I've scrubbed his box about 1000 times by now.

    @Norma and Sir Wills: Yup. That's what Sweetman says.

    @Beth: SPAL still has a little bit of the runs but is much better. HB keeps checking on him.

  13. Sorry he was sick. I hope the pooing has stopped. You can take comfort in knowing he only did it because he was sick. My kids talked me into a beagle puppy who refuses to become potty trained and he howls all night like a wolf. I really love him though

  14. Melissa: It's now a little pass 4 am. We've been up since 2 am. Yesterday, I left him in the hands of my 22 year old and got into his brother's food and the garbage. Squirts and vomitting all over again. The poor guy just fell asleep.

  15. Holy cow! I don't even want to think about what a mess that could be. Hope he's feeling better soon!

  16. Pansy-boy, huh? lol So sorry about the sickness. This has been quite the winter for it.

  17. Good to hear he is feeling a whole lot better. It can't have been fun.

  18. @Vicki: Messy and smelly.

    @Donna: Not fun trying to keep your animal's head in a bucket while he's vomitting. And doggie diapers don't work. Pampers for humans do a better job on him.

    @Lynda: He's got medicine now. We took him to the vets today.

    @Golden: We're getting there.

  19. Aw shame! I hope Sir Poops-a-Lot feels better soon.

  20. Misha: He's got meds now and is doing much better now. Thank you.


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