Hey! It’s me Hair Ball.
I’m in charge of the blog today. And boy do I have a story for you. It’s about my pansy brother, Sir Poops. Mummsy and Daddy-O don’t call him Sir Poops for nothing, either.
So the story goes something like this. Thursday night, me and pansy boy gather in the kitchen around our Daddy-O for our night-night treat of pita bread and Yarlesberg cheese.
Mummsy followed in after because she was home that night. “Don’t feed these boys cheese or bread,” she says. Daddy-O always gives us really good snacks. Mummsy always gives us healthy snacks like carrots and apples.
“They’re gourmet dogs. Just a little won’t hurt them,” Daddy-O says.
Pansy-boy and me agreed.
“A little then,” Mummsy says. “Just remember Sir Poops is sensitive.”
Yeah, I thought, we all know why he’s sensitive. He’s got pansy-boy genes. He’s such a dainty, little fellow.
Okay. So we get us some cheeses and pita, which made us happy. Mummsy put us to bed with our big sister No-No and all was well.
Friday morning came and all was still well. Sir Poops and me had a good breakfast and we went about our day keeping the Boogies away while our parents were at work.
Come that night, Sir Poops decides to poo on the nice, new wood floor. Daddy-O had it cleaned up right before Mummsy got home from work.
Mummsy thought my brother was being his usual picky self about where he wanted to do his business. Daddy-O didn’t tell her my brother was having The Great Poop Falls falling from his bum. It was a river.
So we go to bed around eleven. Everything’s good. I’m sleeping. Sir Poops is snoring. No-No’s talking in her sleep.
“Owie-owie,” Sir Poops says. “My stomach hurts real bad. Owie-owie.” He cried like a little girl and this horrible smell filled the room like something died.
I get up from my bed and go sniff at him. You know, making sure he’s okay like a good little brother.
Well, he made a big poo all over No-No’s bed so I had to pop her in her head to wake her up. It was a long sleepless night for all of us after that.
So this morning, Mummsy gave him this stuff every fifteen minutes because he wouldn’t stop pooing.
Right now, she’s boiling a whole chicken and some rice just for him.
And he’s gotten like five whole popsicles, too. Plus, Mummsy says he’s going to get a new bed, pillow, and blankie because he pooed all over them today.
You know what I think, I think he does this stuff just to get special attention and new stuff. I think he took more pieces of cheese when no one was looking the other night just to make himself sick. Isn’t that a syndrome?
Anyway, pansy-boy is in his house clad in two diapers with a bowl of melted popsicle. So far, since about 3 o’clock he hasn’t pooed, thank God. Mummsy and everybody acted like he was going to die or something.
***Sigh***Sigh*** But, I’m glad he’s better. I would miss him if he weren’t here. He’s okay for a pansy-boy.