This morning while mummsy was cruising the blogs, I fell in love. She’s the most beautiful woman in the world. I know we could make it work. Her name? Unknown. But I’ll refer to her as Ms. Dog.
Mummsy found Ms. Dog on the blog page, Puking on the Inside, http://laurenastevensblog.com/. For every comment left, her mummsy is donating five dollars to the Japan Relief Fund.
It broke my heart when mummsy turned off her computer this morning. I wanted to stare at that work of loveliness. She’s breathtaking. Mesmerizing. My heart is beating fast. She makes me weak in all four knees.
So, I’ve decided to write this letter:
Dear Ms. Dog:
This is a picture of me, yours truly, Sir Poops-A-Lot.
I’m a single white Chines Crested-Powder-Puff. Unlike my bald brothers and sisters, I’ve got hair. Lots of it. I frequent hours of torture to maintain my handsomeness for the right woman. And, I believe that’s you.
I love lounging almost anywhere. Preferably, the couch, my personal house, and various beds scattered throughout mummsy and daddy-o’s house.
I enjoy watching television while I munch on Twizzlers, sweet kettle corn, and pretzels. I’ll be glad to share.
I love to take long walks and see the sights in my neighborhood.
Or, smell them.
I also enjoy the water.
I promise not to hump you but I can’t promise the hair ball won’t. He humps everyone and anything. The good thing is this he can’t get anyone pregnant but neither can I. I’m responsible, you know.
I’d really like to meet you. Maybe this weekend. Mummsy and daddy-o are leaving me and the hairball with the sitter tomorrow. It’ll almost be like being alone.
I’ll fix us a nice bone, get some DVDs…Lassie…Beverly Hills Chihuahua, perhaps. I’ll even fluff up my bed for you.
What do you say, my beauty?
Very truly yours,