Dear Ms. Dog:
I must apologize but mummsy hasn’t been at her computer all day. To be honest, I don’t know her password and have to wait for her to turn it on. Even though I’m highly intelligent, some things get by me except exquisite beauty.
You wrote you’ve gained some weight. No problem. Mummsy calls it the classic body size. Most women are a size eight and up with curves. All the more to snuggle with. I’m more into cuddling than frolicking.
You see, I’ve just entered the beginning of my senior years. I prefer a relaxing atmosphere with a touch of romance. Soft music. Candle light. Lounging on my bed chewing on a scrumptious Greenie Bone. Do you like Greenie Bones? They’re good for your teeth and make your breath sweet. I ‘d be glad to share with you…my Twizzlers and pretzels, too.
I do hope you accept my proposal.
For now, my sweet, good night.
Very truly yours,