My Trip to NYC: Cran-Apple Juice, Animal Cookies, Snores, and Taxis

March 19, 2011

We made it onto the plane. No one noticed Sweetman foaming at the mouth. Schwoo! Talk about a lot of work.

The plane took off with no problems. The hum and the rythmic shudder of the jet made my eyes heavy. Sometime after take off, I'd entered dreamland. I usually do. Whenever soemone else is driving a vehicle, plane or car, I fall asleep. Just put me in a car seat and plug me into a bottle. If not, strange and scary noises arise out of me. Really.

My neck tilted back enough so the top of my head touched the back of my seat. Drool ran out the corner of my mouth. I remember swiping at it in my semi-comatos state. The back of my throat went dry from sucking in air. I know my mouth must've been wide open because I snorted myself awake.

Sweetman giggled next to me. "Can't take you anywhere without you falling asleep. You're like a little kid."

Five minutes later the flight attendants made thier rounds, inquiring about drinks and snacks.

Sweetman still in his monster form looked at the poor girl, eyebrows raised, and said,"Two Cran-Apples. Two Animal Crackers." He held up two fingers, too, and didn't even say please.

"You could've said please," I said.

He responded with a grunt.

I always say please and thank you. My vocabulary is naked without them. It's like not putting on your panties and bra before you get dressed.

After we got out snacks, Sweetman all but inhaled the bags and containers his goodies came in. It took him less than one minute to do so.The foam at the corners of his mouth dissipated. "OOOs" and "Ahs" bellowed from him. His dimples returned. Thank God.

About three hours later we landed and raced off the plane to catch a cab. My God, they're everywhere like seniors in Florida. It gets worse the closer you get to the city, too.

And speaking of these docile creatures called taxis, they're not friendly at all. If you've got bladder issues make sure you're equipped with a Depend. If you've got stomach issues, having tendencies to vomit, bring a bag or bucket.

My best advice is to take a sleeping pill, possibly a valium, before entering one of these things. Make sure you're strapped in and you brace yourself. I also suggest you find a deity to pray to during your ride. It's as bad as riding the Twister at Bush Gardens.

Me. I usually strap myself in, hang on, and close my eyes. Taxis like to flirt with other taxis. They get real close to each other. YIKES!

To Be Continued....