Saturday, May 7, 2011

Saturdays with Sir Poops-A-Lot: The Tragic Story of No-No and the Sausage

Hair Ball

Sir Poops-A-Lot

SPAL: What did you do with the camera?!

HB: Didn't touch it.

SPAL: Did,too.

HB: Not!

SPAL: Too! You mess everything up. You know that?

HB: You're a pansy! Pansy! Pansy!

SPAL: Hmm...(he sticks his nose in the air). Guess I'll have to tell the story without the pictures.

HB: What story?

SPAL: The No-No and Sausage story.

HB: Oh, that one.

SPAL: Yeah. No-No's heart's been broken. Daddy-o's real mad, too. Says No-No is dumb for leaving everything behind.

HB: Us?

SPAL: Not us, but yes, us. Her job. She never transferred her job to New York. Mummsy said she could've. And, she told mummsy and daddy-o she wasn't going to take the finals to her classes this semester. It made mummsy cry because she spent more money on college classes that went down the drain.

HB: Oh.

SPAL: And, now No-No's in a pickle jar. The Sausage left her all by herself. She has no job and wants to come back home.

HB: Hooray! No-No's coming back home! We can lay in her dirty socks and clothes and her bed all day long.

SPAL: Nope. Mummsy wants to keep it her office. And, daddy-o says no way she's coming back. She needs to learn a lesson.

HB: Like timeout?

SPAL: Timeout, forever.

HB: No, No-No forever?

SPAL: Something like that.

HB: Why did the Sausage leave her?

SPAL: Well, mummsy says you don't run off with people from Facebook.

HB: What's that?

SPAL: Where people meet each other but not face to face. Anyway, daddy-o said the Sausage was from some cult. He was raised that way and went back to it, leaving No-No with nothing. No-No thought he loved her and he promised to marry her but his parents said they'd never accept her.

HB: Poor, No-No. I want to take a bite out of the Sausage(He gives a firece little dog growl). Where's that Pansy?

SPAL: He's somewhere in New York.

HB: Why can't she come back here and live with us?

SPAL: Daddy-o and mummsy gave an edict. Maybe its because she's done this before. Remember Canada?

HB: Hmmm...

SPAL: Besides, my heart broke when she left. I think she broke yours, too. You cried and cried for days. Remember?

HB: Yeah.

SPAL: This makes it two times now. Maybe its a good idea she doesn't come back because she'll do it again.

HB: Are we breaking up with her, too?

SPAL: I think so.

HB: But, breaking up is so hard to do.

SPAL: We have to. Because she'll only leave us for another Sausage, or a Hot Dog, or a piece of Chopped Liver.


  1. OMG! So funny....ok, wait...not funny. It is, and it isn't. Sorry to hear about No-No and her sausage, but maybe a little lesson learned will work wonders for the future. (((HUGS)))

  2. What do you mean, you don't run off with people from Facebook? Most of my best friends are on Facebook....

    She actually ran off with somebody she met on Facebook?

    Great blog, Shelly!

  3. Adorable. I truly hope everything works out.
    Hair Ball and Poopsie deserve a wonderful, future brother in law who will bring them treats!

  4. Oh my...

    Hairball, indulge that instinct to bite the Sausage.

    I can't believe I just wrote that.

  5. @ Beth: Thanks for the hugs. Yes. She needs to learn lesson. Unfortunately, that's how most of us learn.

    @Norma: Yes. No-No really ran off with a guy from Facebook. Even his friends on Facebook warned her not to go.

    @Eve: Yes. We do. We need a nice brother-in-law.

    @Mr. Wills:
    I want to jump on him over and over again and rip his Sausage face off.

    Very truly yours,

    Sir Poops-A-Lot
    Hair Ball

  6. I love reading these through your dogs. Hope everything works out all right.

  7. @kimberly: Thak you for visiting.

  8. Oh, my. I'm not sure if I should laugh or feel sad. Poor No-No. Bad Sausage!

    Ellie Garratt

  9. What a great way to tell a tough story. You have a great perspective. I'm assuming it is a true story based on the commments, before that I really didn't know.

    Hilarious. Well told.

  10. Haha! That was great! I really enjoyed this.

  11. Dear Ellie, Ms. CM, and Alison:

    Yes this is a true story. And, thank you so much for stopping by my blog.

    Shelly, Sir Poops-A-Lot, and Hair Ball

  12. Glad to make you laugh, Lynda.

  13. Wow, what a crazy story. Can't believe she ran off with a guy from facebook. Wonder when the next chopped liver will come along? This was a great post Shelly.

  14. Thank you, Ms. Langley. Hope no one comes around her for a long time. It set her back big time.

  15. Glad to make you laugh, TV-Reports.


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