This morning went relatively smooth though I kept peeking from where ever I was inside the house to make sure Sweetman was...well, still Sweetman. He has a terrble tendency to morph into some serial maniac when we travel.
His manic state begins two days before the trip. Now mind you, he's already pulled his suitcase from the closet at least five days ago.
When Sweetman pulls out rags to clean his piece of luggage, its countdown to morph day. It leaves me wondering if he'll turn to Jekyl and Hyde, wolfman, Frankenstien, or possibly Norman Bates...even all four. It gets scarier the closer it gets to the plane taking off.
Me on the other hand, am calm, cool, and collected. What's so difficult bout traveling. It's a piece of cake. Although, I have to say I do sweat bullets, trying to remember if I packed my female essentials like my panties and bra.
Halfway to the airport Sweetman asked, "Did you pack those pretty things I bought you?" He took me shopping the weekend before the trip for bras and panties. Fancy, frilly ones. I mean, what else could I possibly need to walk the streets of New York City, right? What a practical thing to buy for your wife to parade around in.
"Of course, I did," I said, pulling my shirt discretely enough to peer down at my girls. The black one with the sequins cuddled them against me.
"What are you doing?"
"Nothing." I looked up to see an endless line of cars. Bumper to bumper. Not one moving.
"You forgot, didn't you?" He growled.
"No." Panic now washed over me. I didn't like the idea of being trapped in a car with someone who tends to morph into something undesirable.
He thumped the steering wheel, staring ahead. "We should've left earlier. It's your fault we're late."
The crossover from Sweetman to monster had begun. By the time we reach the Tampa Airport his transformation should be complete.
"What're you talking about. Late my arse!It's seven," I said. "The plane doesn't leave until nine-thirty." Perspiration broke out under my arms.
"Everytime we travel you screw things up!" he shouted.
"Next time, I'll just stay home and you can go all by yourslef."
I watched his once cute little face twist into something hideous.
To be continued...
That's all for now folks!
Happy blogging, writing, and reading!
Shelly
PS Save a Library!
LOL! Troll factor 10, did you pack that?
ReplyDeleteSiv: I'll pack it next time.
ReplyDeleteWe don't travel much, but I'm afraid that's what tends to happen to me. ☺
ReplyDeleteLove it!
ReplyDelete@ Laura: Your hubby morphs, too.
ReplyDelete@Jen: :)
Traveling with my husband is...scary too. Strange pillows and lumpy mattresses all lead to a tossing turning night that turns into a horrible, cranky, yucky day. Add bugs or boats into the mix and I've got Godzilla on my hands.
ReplyDeleteLove this post.
@Eve: Men are just strange. Don't you think?
ReplyDeleteShelly, do you have any wolfbane? Silver bullets? Garlic?
ReplyDeleteHey, I finally got a decent haircut! I don't have to always wear a baseball cap!
Think sedatives, Shelly. Enough to knock him out for the journey, and two days beforehand.
ReplyDeleteOh, and we men are strange. Just don't let that get out.
@ Wills: He won't even take a vitamin.
ReplyDelete@Norma: I've got garlic. Lots of it. He hates it.
Glad you got a decent haircut. If you went to Great Clips you can request that person even though the person at the desk will try to talk you out of it if your preferred h/d is busy.
@ William: We already know men are strange.
ReplyDelete@ Shelly: Thanks for the tip! Keep that garlic handy!