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Saturday, June 11, 2011

Saturday With Sir Poops-A-Lot: Mummsy’s Work

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Sir Poops-A-Lot

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Hair Ball

SPAL: I have no clue what to write about this morning.

HB: Thought you were going to tell me another story about Riley and Michael.

SPAL: I was. But, according to mummsy’s Kindle I’ve got eighty percent more to read.

HB: What’s taking you so long to finish?

SPAL: Mummsy’s work schedule this week. She’s been coming home exhausted. And, she’s been keeping her Kindle in her haircutting case.

HB: What’re they doing to her at this place called work?

SPAL: I’m not sure. All I know is she goes there so she can buy us food and treats. She also says it helps us keep our beds and our house.

HB: Do you think she’s torturing people?

SPAL: Why would you ask such a ridiculous question? Our mummsy torture people?

HB: Well, have you seen what she carries in her haircutting bag? She’s got scissors and razors and THE CLIPPERS. (He buries his head under his blankie) Isn’t that what they use on us…you know…at the place Of Many Great White Watery Abyss of Tortures.

SPAL: (He stares at Hair Ball. His mouth opens wide and gasps.) Oh! I never thought of that. But, what if it’s she the one being tortured? I mean sometimes she doesn’t look so good when she comes home. Remember the day she came home with her thumb all bandaged up?

HB: Wasn’t that the day she told us part of her thumb got sliced off by a razor?

SPAL: Yup. How about all the times she comes home telling us her toes and back are screaming? Even though we don’t hear a thing.

HB: There is such a thing as silent screams, you know. Heard about it on television one night with daddy-o.

SPAL: I think I’ve heard about that, too. Oh, and remember the night she came home crying because the palms of her hands hurt real bad. She couldn’t pick us up remember?

HB: Yeah. Maybe she’s the one being tortured. Awww…just so she can feed us and bring us toys and treats. Poor mummsy.

SPAL: I don’t think I like this place called work. Besides, it takes her away from us for long hours at a time. Eight and nine hours is too long. At least when she’s writing, we can lay at her feet.

HB: How are we going to stop her from going?

SPAL: Hmmm…(He puts his paw beneath his chin).

HB: How about we fake sick? It works on television. Some TV kid is always pretending to be sick. So, what’s the plan?

SPAL: We’ll stuff our faces while she’s in the shower. Then we’ll run up stairs real fast. Poo on the bathroom floor. You take one corner and I’ll take the other. Then we’ll throw up, fall in it, refusing to get up. 

HB: Do you think it’ll work?

SPAL: Let’s go find out.

20 comments:

  1. Oh you two...too bad mummsy is so hard-worked. I feel her pain like she feels mine...tell her that I know she'll survive these 8 day shifts even though she thinks she won't. Hopefully she'll get some much needed rest and to finish the book so that you can read it, too...

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  2. Shelly, you really need to explain your job to these two!

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  3. I've had pets that have tried that very same trick! Well, the pooping and puking without the laying in it...it never worked out very well for them!

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  4. "the place Of Many Great White Watery Abyss of Tortures."

    .... aww, it's not that bad, you two!

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  5. That's cute. Sorry mummsy has to work so hard.
    Big hugs!

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  6. @ Beth: Work must not be a fun place to be.

    @Norma: Work must be bad. We really think so.

    @Eve: It didn't work out for us either. She went to work again. She'll be doing it again tomorrow.

    @Sir Wills: It's a terrible, terrible place.

    @Eve at Desert Rocks: Hugs back to you.

    Very Truly Yours,
    Sir Poops-A-Lot
    and
    Hair Ball

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  7. My dogs always puked and then acted like it wasn't them, never for attention.

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  8. @Tonja: Mummsy always says we're special. And, we like to be referred to as fur-persons, thank you very much. DOG is a bad word, you know.

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  9. The fur-people have it all worked out (or so they think) ! Talk about strategists ! They're something else - that's for sure ! Please put them out of their misery and explain the purpose of the clippers ...

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  10. @MISH: Clippers are a torture device. It robs you of your beautiful hair, munching it right off into a heap. And if, you done't hold still, it bites.

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  11. That is one LAZY dog on the back of that sofa! :-) My hound is snoozing on her bed as I type this ...

    Hope you're having an awesome weekend!

    EJ

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  12. @ Sir E.J.: You've hurt my feelings. Lazy I'm not and Sir Poops-A-Lot, my big, pansy brother says DOG is a bad word.

    Very truly yours.
    Hair Ball

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  13. Awww...reading this makes me miss my dogs - even with the puking. This was so cute.

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  14. I'm pretty sure my dogs have had this exact same conversation.

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  15. Lol - my dogs love clippers, they think 'finally we're going to get some attention!' :)
    Wagging Tales - Blog for Writers

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  16. @ Alison, M.j., and Charmaine: Thank you for stopping by. But, we must inform you the word DOG is a bad word. Two, it's a terrible thing to miss the one you love. Three, any fur-person who believes CLIPPERS are friends have had some serious brainwashing done.

    Very truly yours,
    Sir Poops-A-Lot
    and
    Hair Ball

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  17. Oh my freaking funny- I adore the names-Sir Poops A Lot makes me smile.

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  18. Hey Russo: How's one of my favorite funny girls?

    Sir Poops-A-Lot

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  19. lol! so funny...well, maybe not the clean up afterwards hehehe

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  20. Lynda: Thanks for stopping by.

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Let me know what you think.