I almost didn’t get up this morning. I fell asleep too late last night. Stayed up and watched zombie movies with No-No. Munched on left over pizza crust. Listened to her chat with her boyfriend on her cell phone, too. Mummsy calls him the ‘Sausage’. He’s the reason why No-No’s ribs pop out of place now. Wonder why, too?
I think the hair ball and I followed her upstairs around two in the morning to her room. Her room is great. Mummsy and Daddy-O says it’s a dirty mess for someone who’s suppose to be an adult---what’s an adult? Anyway, don’t know why? It looks perfect to me. There’s stuff everywhere.
Her room is better than Mummy’s hamper. It’s where I get to watch my stupid-hair-ball-brother eat panties and other things like Tampons---told you he’s stupid. There’s always a feast there waiting to happen.
Unlike him, I prefer pilfering through the candy wrappers, chip bags, and empty yogurt containers---fine cuisine. Sometimes I’ll find a plate of morsels behind or on top her bed. Sometimes it’ll be under a pile of clothes. Going to her room is a treasure hunt. A great big glorious hamper along with an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Mummsy says she gets anxiety attacks when she enters it. Daddy-O enters with a big black garbage bag and throws buffet items away. What a waste, too, because I’ll eat it. I like my food to sit for a while and marinate in its juices. Or have it dried to a plate. I can lick and lick and lick. I’m the best plate licker in the world. I’ve had plenty of practice taking care of dishes after mummsy and daddy- o finish their meals.
Oh, well…at least I still get to lounge in her clothes. They’re everywhere. There’s a well scented sock in every corner. My favorite. I like to gather all her socks into a pile and plop right into the middle of them. I take a deep breath in and breathe in their wonderful smell. It’s heaven.
I also like the fact that she sleeps sometimes until noon. Oh, it’s wonderful. Hair ball and I sometimes snuggle around her.
I don’t understand why my parents get upset with her.
Does anyone understand why?
Very truly yours,