Monday, January 24, 2011

Five Things I Hate About My Writing

Boy,I’m just a gloomy girl lately. Would hate to see what would happen to me if I didn’t live in the Sunshine State. Right now, I’m sitting at my kitchen table, still in my jammies but wearing my winter coat. I’m freezing my arse off. Yup. Florida’s got freezing temps again.

But that’s not the point of this blog. Let’s move on as Robblogger would say. I think my saying will be ‘Flying Monkeys’ or ‘Oh, no Toto’. Wait a minute…how about ‘Let’s fly monkeys’? We’ll see which one fits best.

Okay. Let’s fly monkeys….(What do ya’ll think?)

Today I wanted to share what bugs the crap out me about my writing. There are five things that top my list. Those five things I can’t seem to let go of no matter what I try or, read or, practice. They’re nasty ole habits like smoking and eating Lay’s potato chips, two things I refuse to do. Too bad they’re not two bad writing habits that I’ve learned to curb. It would be nice to say that I’ve overcome them. But….(palms up, I’m shrugging).

1. Still can’t get that rule of when to capitalize mom and dad. In my world they’re important. They should be capitalized no matter what some dumb rule says.

2. Why can’t garbage cans climb through windows? Because dangling participles are not acceptable. My stuff is littered with silliness like this.

3. Trying to describe things that are virtually impossible. You know, like trying to describe ten drunk naked people on the Twister Mat. Think about it. I’m told constantly to keep it simple. Yeah. Right.

4. Why can’t animals be referred to as ‘she’ and ‘he’ even if they have no name. They’re still people. Furry ones. Besides, I don’t know all the people in the world by name.

5. Why can’t we tell our stories a little bit? An insy-winsy-tiny-bit? A microscopic-insy-wincy-tiny-bit?

These are the five things that drive me crazy. Teeth gritting, foot stomping crazy.

What drives you crazy about your writing?

Happy blogging, reading, and writing!!


P.S. Ya’ll hang in there.


  1. Everything is better when you stop worrying. Trust me. I've actually heard that even a Professor of English from an Ivy League school probably makes a mistake or two. Imagine that. I bet they piss like us too. :)

  2. For me, the hardest part is turning off the internal editor. The one that makes me stop every few sentences and try to edit through everything I wrote five minutes ago, PLUS the first chapter, PLUS the chapter I happened to be working on at the time.

    I'm a worrier too, don't worry (haha).

    I get where you're coming from about capitalizing Mom and Dad. It sounds stupid, but every time I come across that in my writing, I think back to a lecture my fifth grade English teacher gave me. In her words, if you can replace the word 'mom' or 'dad' with a proper name, like 'Sandy,' then you capitalize. But if it's an instance where it would be like 'my mom' or 'my dad,' 'my Sandy' doesn't make sense, so it's not capitalized.

  3. Shelly:
    Honestly, all you need to say is 10 drunks on a twister mat... it has forever been burned into my mind. Thanks. Of course, the question is, what kind of naked drunks? Cause the ones I had to pick had no business being naked or playing twister.

    OH, and I completely understand the frustration. I am having a heck of a time with the same list.

  4. My big thing is putting in too many comma's or not enough...and saying 'smile' all the time...or, 'she looked at me and smiled'...

    I've been trying to take all that crap out...

  5. SO... Everyone is thinking it, but no one is brave enough to ask... why are they playing twister naked? Was there a strip poker game I missed? LOL
    My biggest grievance is time. Never enough. I have too many ideas, not enough time. Not nearly enough to get through them all properly.
    But I love your list!

  6. This made me smile, Shelly! :) (Sorry, Beth.)


  7. @ Ms. L.: I used to worry about that. Now I write is till its finished, then I worry.

    @Erin: :) :)

    @Beth: I never put in enough commas even after I read it out loud.

    @Tanya: Why are they playing Twister naked? It's possible that they were playing strip poker before they started drinking. Yup. They lost their clothes after they finished two bottles of Tequila, you know. LOL

  8. As for me, I just never know what’s right or wrong anymore. I never realized just how hard the English language was until I started writing. After speaking it all these years I found out just how little I did know. There are rules for this and rules for that, exceptions here and exceptions there. You do this here unless you did that there. You use a comma here or maybe not, it just depends and never ever here unless... It never ends. And did you know if you’ve been pronouncing a word incorrectly for ever you tend to spell it wrong as well?

  9. @Tyro56:

    Notary of Republic. That's what it sounded like to me. That's how I said it for years working in a law office. I was corrected. Notary Public.

  10. I use an excessive amount of the word "Now". As if the word now is money that must be spent now. Or now the world will come to an end unless the armies of Now cross the River Now, now.

  11. But William, your writing always looks perfect to me.

  12. @ EJ:

    I like to make people smile.


Let me know what you think.