Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Q is for Queen

Contessa and Arthur’s saga continues. Will Contessa let her beloved be beheaded for an Oreo? Or, will she allow a vampire queen take Arthur as her mate?

The Arab Vampire pressed his sword closer to Arthur’s neck.

I slipped another cookie between my lips before I slurped from the milk carton. It made cookie mush on my tongue. Oreo Cookie soup.

“Looks like I’ll get desert with the Infidel,” the Arab vampire said, spittle flew out of his mouth. It sprayed onto my boyfriend.

My handsome vampire squirmed, shoving against the other vampire. His body didn’t budge.

I chugged more chocolate milk. A small burp escaped me. The fog in my mind dissipated. Violent images crossed my mind. I needed to chop the Arab vampire’s head off. Another cookie should give me the strength I needed to the job.

The store bell rang at the front. A gust of wind blew in, and we all looked up. Heels clicked against the floor. High heels. Slow and methodical, female like steps.

I set my treats down, propping myself onto my knees, stretching my neck to see who or what was coming from behind the two struggling vampires.

The Arab vampire looked my way and roared like a lion. Drool dripped from his yellow fangs.

I sat back down and grabbed another cookie.

“Hamid,” a woman’s voice said. “Where are your manners?” She spoke broken English, too.

The vampire looked over his shoulder, holding his sword’s blade against my vampire knight’s neck.

I gulped down more chocolate milk.

A woman dressed in belly dancer attire towered over the grappling vampires. Complete black eyes peered through a sheer white veil, covering her face. “Hamid, please stand. Behave yourself we’ve dinner guests.” Her eyes averted to me then to Arthur. “As for the blond vampire…I want him for my mate.”

The Arab vampire stood but kept the sword’s point at my boyfriend’s throat. “But Ameerah? He’s a Jewish dog.”

“I’m your Queen. Your maker. I get what I want.”

I chased another cookie down with more chocolate milk.

The sword at Arthur’s neck pulled back.

My boyfriend turned his head toward me and whispered, “Sorry.”

The woman vampire shooed at the Arab vampire. “Go stand over there.” She lifted her veil from her face, exposing her fangs. Pearl white. They sparkled under the store’s fluorescent lighting.

He moved aside. “Ameerah! You can’t align yourself with a Jew!”

She looked over her shoulder, running her hands down her body, outlining her curves. Her boobs were bigger than mine. A diamond clung to her belly button. That spelled bravery for sure.

“You can’t,” the male vampire said.

She swiveled her head around and looked at me this time. “Piffle. I’m making him mine.”

Jealousy pricked at me. I stood, a package of Oreos in one hand and a carton of chocolate milk in the other. “He’s my boyfriend, bitch!” Cookies and milk dribbled down my chin.

The female vampire stepped over Arthur. Her face within inches of mine, curling her upper lip all the way up, growling. Her breath stunk.

I crinkled my nose and turned my head to avoid the fumes, dropping the milk carton. Chocolate liquid pooled around my black Prada buckle boots. Shit.

“Look at you,” she hissed. “ What kind of girlfriend wears food on her face? Cookies and milk are for children. You’re not a woman. You’re not enough to satisfy any man let alone a male vampire.”

Bravery washed over me. I grappled for another Oreo, shoving it into my mouth before raising the container mid-air. Adrenaline took over, chewing my cookie with intention.

“What?” she asked, tilting her head from side to side. “You think you can destroy me with a bag of cookies?”

I lunged toward her, shoving the cookies at her face.

The vampire queen roared with laughter.

I dropped to my knees beside Arthur, grabbing his sword. God, it was heavy. It weighed me down but I didn’t wear Prada boots and consume chocolate for nothing. Sugar surged through me, helping me to stand. I swung the sword out in front of me, stepping over Arthur.

Both vampires hissed, showing their fangs.

“For your information once again…Queen Bitch! He’s my boyfriend!” I swung the sword again.

They both jumped back.

“And he loves me. And I him,” I said.

Hamid raised his sword.

I closed my eyes and swung like a wild woman. It went schwoosh. Something made fast snapping sounds in front of me, landing on the floor with a loud thud.

Elevator music played softly in the background. It added to the sudden silence.

One at a time, I opened my eyes. Arthur now stood beside me. Two vampire heads lied two feet away, their bodies at my feet.

“You’re going to make a fine vampire, Tessie,” Arthur said, draping his arm around my shoulders.

“It’s all about the chocolate.”


  1. OMG! I love it!!! YOU really need to write this!!

  2. AWESOME!!! How can you argue with logic like hers!

  3. @Halli: Stay away from a woman who wants her boyfriend...why, she'll kill a couple vampires for him.

  4. @Beth: I am! I am! By the seat of pants! I am! I've got papers of brain storming stuff for Contessa and Arthur.

  5. Shelly, I love the story, so far. I also like the notion that oreo cookies are the new spinach. Like them way better!

    MM the Queen of English

  6. @MM: Thanks for stopping by. Glad you like it.

  7. Way to swing a sword. And by the way, I chew my cookie with intention too.

    I’m A-Z Blogging on Langley Writes about Writing and Langley’s Rich and Random Life

  8. Ms. Langley: I don't know any other way to swing. Thanks for stopping by.

  9. @Jolene: Thanks for stopping by.

  10. Love the last line, "It's all about the chocolate."
    Vampires. Who knew?

  11. Moobeat: Vampires, then? Thanks for visiting.

    Eve: I know. Right? Thanks for stopping by.

  12. Very fun! It is, indeed, all about the chocolate...

    Now to get some Oreo cookie soup...


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